She isn't very responsive with text messages. Should I just walk away?

[afterhourz]

Ive been in these waters before...

You basically have done all that you can. It's all up to her now. If she digs it, she will return your call. If she doesn't, she probably won't return your call.

I wouldn't really hold her accountable if she doesn't call, either. Most girls will do this. Most just aren't as assertive as most guys, and thus wouldnt make a return call unless she had some interest in you.

If she doesn't call back, just say "Next...", and move on. It sucks, but thats just how the cookie crumbles i guess?

[pisces7378]

Ive been in these waters before...

You basically have done all that you can. It's all up to her now. If she digs it, she will return your call. If she doesn't, she probably won't return your call.

I wouldn't really hold her accountable if she doesn't call, either. Most girls will do this. Most just aren't as assertive as most guys, and thus wouldnt make a return call unless she had some interest in you.

If she doesn't call back, just say "Next...", and move on. It sucks, but thats just how the cookie crumbles i guess?

Yeah... that has been my experience as well. I guess the price for playing this game is a DVD and a sweatshirt.

It sucks a fat one too, because you just wish that girls would have the human decency to just let a guy know, "Hey man, I'm really sorry, but I don't feel the same way about you as you do about me."

I think it has something to do with age as well. This girl is 21 years old. I dated a 30 year old woman recently, that decided she just wasn't all that into me, and she straight up told me... "Man you are a great guy, but I am just not physically attracted to you."

It was fantastic! Sure, it sucked and it made me wonder if I am somehow an ugly guy or not. But those kind of wounds heal in a day or so... the NOT-KNOWING just throbs in your brain like a hangover that won't go away.

Just so you guys can see, I am attaching a recent photo of myself. If anyone of you would like to comment on whether or not I am gross or not, I'd love some feedback. The last person to even discuss how I look, was my mother when I was in 5th grade. She was a little biased.

Thanks for all your input guys.

[IndiReloaded]

Is that you? Smile man, you are cute!

[pisces7378]

IniReloaded... are you a guy or a girl?

[IndiReloaded]

LOL. I'm not going to spoil your discovery fun. With just a tad of research, you can find the answer to your question rather quickly.

[pisces7378]

You're a real pill, you know that?!?

I looked and couldn't find out by you profile.

[girl68]

Pisces I'm glad you finally called. Great message. Puts the ball in her court. Finally whew. Now it's up to her. If she doesn't call she couldn't have been all that interested. And you honestly don't want a gal who won't even put in the effort to give a guy a call so there ya go. At least you're not wondering right!? (And I'm not going nuts trying to make you call ).

I know what you'll say: what about when you see her? Be polite like you were when you saw her at the bar. Short, and polite, that is all.

[pisces7378]

Well she didn't call back yesterday. I called her around 2:00 in the afternoon. She had to work yesterday until late. I went to bed around 1:00 am, and she still wasn't home (I promise I am not a stalker), so she was either working or she was out with friends or maybe even a guy. If she was out with another guy, then that would be über-weak, because she mentioned being single on several occasions.

I don't know. I guess none of this really matters. I don't want you guys to think that I am always like this; some needy, weak, weird-o, that posts on internet forums about when to call some girl. I just really like this girl. And we had such a nice time together. I've been in the dating game for a long time, and I thought I knew what was up, but with this girl, I swear there were ZERO tell tale signs of something being wrong. We laughed, we made jokey fun of each other, we kissed, I cooked at her house, her room mate/best friend loves me, I have an amazing high profile job in international television news, I didn't rush things, all of her friends know me and seem to think I am a great guy.

I really just can't imagine what it could be unless she is just not attracted to me physically. I am over-weight. Like I said, I am not clinically morbidly obese or anything. But I need to drop about 4 pants sizes. I'm just a really big guy. 6"4' tall and built like an NFL lineman.

But if she wasn't attracted to me, then why would she have kissed me. And it wasn't just me kissing her. She kissed back.

I just do not understand. And I want to understand so that I can maybe not make the same mistake again. If I was too stand-off-ish, then why didn't she even try to call or text me even once? If I played it "too-cool" or some shit like that, then why is she ignoring me now that I am trying?

Is it ridiculous for me to ask her what's up with all this? I mean, I don't want to be "THAT guy" that puts her on the spot, but I mean, damn! Isn't this way out of bounds for her to just ignore me like this?

[girl68]

There mere fact you waited so long to call could put any girl off. No matter how much I liked him. If she doesn't call too bad. Get over it.

And if you keep asking more questions I don't care what you say about not wanting to be the annoying, needy guy... you would be.

[pisces7378]

Now wait a minute girl...

You have to keep some perspective here. I know I ask you guys a lot of questions about this and that, and what I should do next etc.

But to her, I have never asked her a question that she didn't answer. When she ignored my texts, they weren't questions that required answers. It was always something like when I wrote, "I had a nice time with you the other night", she wouldn't respond to that. And one time I sent a text that said, "You should invite me over for lunch Saturday..." and she never answered that. And now, I have called her, and she hasn't answered.

Okay... when you line it all up like that, I guess I see your point. But to be honest, my main source of frustration is not that I am somehow in love with this girl, and now I've lost her or some melodramatic nonsense like that. I mean, sure we had a nice time hanging out and going on our one date, but I'm not in love with her at all. I am just dying to know what the hell I might have done wrong.

You see, this has just happened to me. There was this girl. She's 30 years old. We hung out, played pool, met at the bars a couple of times, and I even walked her home once and we made out. But after I made out with her, and tried to call her... she just clammed up. She wanted nothing to do with me.

She at least eventually had the decency to tell me that she just wasn't attracted to me. Which was fine. And I moved on effortlessly. But now, the not-knowing is what's killing me.

And also... what the hell?!? What ever happened to a guy trying a little harder? I hate the concept that I am just supposed to ask her once, and if she doesn't go for it, I just sulk home like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, thinking Awww shucks, guess she doesn't like me. That's bullshit. Two texts and a phone call, and I'm ready to pack it in? If that's the case, then our society really has become so casual and connectionless.

Some of the best relationships in the world started out with the guy constantly asking the girl out. Sometimes people are stupid and need to be jogged out of their own heads.

[girl68]

I am just dying to know what the hell I might have done wrong.

She at least eventually had the decency to tell me that she just wasn't attracted to me.

And also... what the hell?!? What ever happened to a guy trying a little harder? I hate the concept that I am just supposed to ask her once, and if she doesn't go for it, I just sulk Two texts and a phone call, and I'm ready to pack it in?

Some of the best relationships in the world started out with the guy constantly asking the girl out. Sometimes people are stupid and need to be jogged out of their own heads.

Ok I've left only the portions I'm going to comment on.

You could have waited far too long to call. But you might not have done anything wrong. You will (probably) never know. That 30 woman is an exception calling to tell you she wasn't interested. More often that not people tell eachother they are not intersted but ignoring them essentially.

Honestly if a guy texted me the way you did even IF I kissed him and all that jazz and then called left a message that WOULD BE trying hard- in my eyes. Perhaps she sees it like that. And even if you didn't pose a direct question for a date texting me 2 or 3 times maybe more would be "asking me". So in my eyes you asked her a lot more than once.

SOME OF... does that mean yours has to? SOME girls might enjoyed being pestered to make sure they guy is sure he wants to date her, others will just get pissed off and annoyed- I'm one of those, maybe she sees it the way I do. Maybe, maybe not.

[pisces7378]

Honestly if a guy texted me the way you did even IF I kissed him and all that jazz and then called left a message that WOULD BE trying hard- in my eyes.

When you say "texted me the way you did..." what does that mean?

SOME OF... does that mean yours has to? SOME girls might enjoyed being pestered to make sure they guy is sure he wants to date her, others will just get pissed off and annoyed- I'm one of those, maybe she sees it the way I do. Maybe, maybe not.

This girl is definitely not the, "Please pester me type." So... whatever. If girls tell people that they aren't interested by just ignoring them, then that is about the weakest load of bullshit I've ever heard.

[girl68]

Texted me like: as in you text me I enjoyed my time blah blah blah.

So when a anyone, not just girls FYI (I've been flat out ignored many times by men) isn't interested he or she has to call up this person of disinterest and express "sorry, I'm not intrested?" Maybe in your ideal world but that isn't the way the real world works. Maybe soooometimes, but like I said that 30yr old woman was an exception not a rule. In fact the reason that some people might think that telling a person they aren't intersted vs just ignoreing them is more mean. It's like did you REALLY have to call me up to tell me you don't like me? Call it bullshit all you want, but this bullshit will continue to happen time and time again.

[pisces7378]

Oh it IS bullshit. I don't mean to seem angry at you Girl68. I know that you are just the messenger. But yes it is total bullshit to give a guy your number, come hang out with him for 14 hours. Wear his sweatshirt home. Borrow his favorite DVD. Text back and fourth for a month all playful and flirty like. Then go on a date with him that lasts again, 14+ hours. Have him cook you dinner. Make out with him. And then just vanish without a trace.

No I don't expect her to make some Emmy Award winning speech about how "it's not you... it's me... I'm sorry." But if I call her and ask if we could get together sometime... only a true asshole would just ignore it. Sure, if a guy gets your number in a bar, and you go out once, and you think he's a just a d-bag, feel free to ignore him. But I've known this girl for like 6 months.

No matter how you slice it... LAME!

[lightning]

Hmm hey Pisces. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give my opinion (but I hope it will help) of my blunt opinion about this is (if you text her several times and she didnt reply) then do your self a favor and forget her.
There was that guy I met at a course, he was really cool, I really liked him as friends , we left from class together. then he called me and I answered but I wasnt into him so when he texted me laters I ignored his messages.

I dont know but talking from my exprience. I would freak out if the guy I like texted me. but if someone I'm not so into, I would just ignore it. the problem its that the more you send her the more you are forgotten (this is from my own exprience from guys).

Just hope I'm not right, but thats what I think