Heartache.....Where do i start?

[inkeepingsecret]

!!!!!!!!!

ok I haven’t posted in a few days and a fewer minor things have happened. We were talking to each other every day and it was great. I tried not to talk about us but i just had to, because in the back of my mind i wanted to try and work things out. You know.... She began to tell me that the reason why she cant say anything when i ask her things about us is because she is trying really hard to block out all of those thoughts. I mean that makes sense. She said," you know me Glenn, if something is bothering me i block it out" and i said," you know me, if something is bothering me I have to talk about it" I told her that this isnt fair to me, that as long as i am a phone call away then things will stay the same and she will never think about us. Then she says "Glenn what do you think is going to happen? What if tomorrow i said we should get back together? How would things change?" i told her that we would have to take it slow and that we couldn’t continue the way we did. It is just too hard for her to live up to. I mean we saw each other every single weekend last year and most of the time it was her who came down to me. I told her that i wanted the comfort of knowing that we were committed to each other and we can work out everything else. Anyways, we had a good conversation......During the last few weeks i would purposely not call her or try to avoid her a little bit, but it was so hard to see her online and not talk to her. I didn’t want to be mean and just outright avoid her. So I told her that maybe we shouldn’t communicate with each other until she has some time to think about us. She promised that she would think about us. I told her to call me when she is ready. Now, it’s been 5 days and things are going according to plan. I just can’t help but wonder about her, I want to call her so bad, but I know I shouldn’t. She also said that she couldn’t promise me that we will get back together when we talk again. I said that that was fine; I just need her to at least think about us because i was going crazy. I also asked her if she thought we would ever get back together. She replied with, " Why else are we doing this," So that made me feel a little better. I have such a hard time being patient. I love her and I feel miserable. Was I right in cutting off communication for a while?




thanks again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,any advice would help

[turbomx3]

The advice I have is based on a similar situation which one of my mates had but firstly I have to say is this the year of people breaking up with the exception of two couples all the rest broke up this year? Actually thats gonna be a new thread?

Anyway it sounds like she doesn't know whether she wants to be with you. The thing is you gotta be patient you know. You both have laid down some simple ground rules and one of yours is that you told her to call you when she is ready. It is hard but thats all part and parcel of sorting out a relationship in effect it's like fixing a china jar with crazy glue. To be honest though you may be best to think like this relationship is over and start your healing process now. It sounds like i'm being cold the thing is if you do get back together than thats a bonus and you will be so happy but if like my mate you are just clinging to the hope if it's taken away you will feel devastated.

Don't get me wrong i'm not saying go out and have an orgy just maybe chill out with your friends and family and just try to carry on and if she calls then goodluck if she doesn't then at least you have your friends there for you to help you out! Either way goodluck.

[inkeepingsecret]

this post might be out of line, but i really dont care anymore


i need to vent!!!!!!!!!!



A dream
Last night, I had a strange dream. There was a family event going on at some tropical island, and somehow sheil was with me. For a while I was snorkeling, watching people surf, and swimming. That was clear. Then, somehow I was back in my room. Sheil was there, and we started to have sex. She wasn’t getting into it at all. She would fake it like she was, but then she would just give up. I would ask her what’s the matter and she would say that she wasn’t turned on. So, we tried over and over again but she couldn’t get into it. We stopped and she rushed over to the computer to see if anyone Imed her. I was like, “ what are you doing “ she said that she just seeing if anyone Imed her. She wanted to see if any “guys” Imed her. The one feeling that I fear is that she is taking a break to see if she can find something better. I fear that she will only come back to me when she gets rejected. Like I am a fall back plan. It’s an awful feeling, but I shouldn’t be feeling that way. This is where the trust factor has to be at an all time high. If we get back, things have to change drastically. I told her that I will give her all the space we needs and that if we get back then we would have to go into it with no expectations. Easier said then done, because my one expectation will have to be that she doesn’t treat me like she has in the last few months. I can’t talk to her on the phone and feel like I am bothering her. I mean, every single person I talk to, whether it is a friend or family gives me exclusive attention, its just common courtesy. If they are busy then they would tell me. I told her a numerous amount of time to only call me when she could give me that, but recently it hasn’t happened. And, she didn’t even give me that, for the fear of her roommates hearing her. I need her to jump into this once again. I need her to remember that she was happiest with me and that no one can offer what I can. She did feel this way at one point and time, but not anymore. I remember in September, I came up to see her. She waited with me at the train and when they started to board, we kissed. Then kissed again, and again, we couldn’t part from each other. It was the best feeling I felt. She felt it too. That was purest form of happiness. Then, only a few weeks later she felt distant. She changed and made up her mind that it isn’t healthy to give me her all. I know I made some mistakes, but nothing that we cant overcome. She began to feel that she needs to spread herself thin, and that having any responsibility right now will do her harm. That she needs to experience things in order to make herself happy. The thing that she didn’t realize is that she had that happiness and we shared it together. How can people that are so different be so in love? Our opinions about love, relationships and love are completely opposite. I don’t think her or I are at fault, but it’s hard to understand. Any thoughts?




thx so much guys,,,,,,you have all made this whole process a lot easier.......