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Thread: Heartache need advise

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    2

    Heartache need advise

    background information:
    Me: age 28 She: age 25 her new BF: age 30
    Me and her together for 2yr 4 mth
    After we broke off officially, she know this new guy the next day on the wedding of her best friend. Then within 2 weeks they are together already. And between this 2 weeks she actually went holiday with her female frez, and also she is a stewardess and she need to fly around so this guy basically make little effort to win her heart. (now they are together for 5 weeks already.

    Her reason of breaking off:
    She think that i am self center, insensitive toward her as i do not like her going out wif her guy friends. then the break up line is you are not fun loving anymore and the feeling is no longer there.
    My thinking is that actually she wanted to play as there is once she told me that she envy her friend that are enjoying singlehood now..

    Oh ya i put on weight alot .. there break my self esteem... that y ... i think this is also part of the reason..

    The past:
    We start of together and i am a bit of like fun living and playful as i was not serious. I nv really make hugh effort to win her heart, it is my fun loving personality that make her loving me. Then her sincerity touch me and make me love her alot... no matter wat i do or request, she would give in to me sort of over spoil me, so i end up become self center and maybe insensitive toward her. but trust me beside the 2 point, i treat her really like a princess. I would buy her anything and show her uncondition love that she wan even if i have to starve myself. she knew that and at a point of time we were even planning on out future to get married.

    The break off:
    It is a vesak day and she wanted to call it a day, before tat 2 mth previously we had an arguement as she went to party wif her frez without calling me when she reach home so i call her 5am to had an quarrel wif her, then she wanted a break off but we manage to patch back, but she is giving me cold shoulder these 2 mth, rather meet her frez than to meet me all tat.
    Then when she got herself a bf she did not disclose until i met her and her new bf at a club (which is actually they toether for 2 weeks already).. it is a terrible night for me.. the guy has the same name as me and drive the same car.... omg... after that nite she saw me and she cry .... then she came over to me, i hug her and told her is alrite.. then the new bf came to bring her away from me.. then i also break down .. it is a very bad nite for me..... then i call her after she left the club and i ask her if she really like tat guy... she told me "i don't know".. it really break my heart and worry for her at tat time.. i told her she break my heart all tat that this and she say she would not want to contact me again.
    The next morning she sms me saying sorry abt yesterday nite and she did not expect to see me at the club. I called her up immediately and she pick up.. then between our conversation, we hope to keep in contact all tat.. and.. weird maybe not in the right mind... but then ... i ask her 2 silly question.. i know i get scolded for asking this 2 questions.
    1) have you ever think that one day we be back together...
    Ans) ....... (no reply)
    2) if you find that this bf is no suitable for you, would u consider me back
    Ans) okie....

    When she is already in a relationship (which i am still not known to me yet), we met up once for our japanese class, after the class she meeting her 'guy' friend.. i ask her if it is a boyfriend, she told me nope is just a normal guy friend , i ask if that guy friend will be together wif her, she say nope should not be...

    Present Situation:
    She look madly in love with the new guy now. she wrote her blog abt how happy she was with the new guy (BTW, in her blog she did not delete any of the past entries... is worth 2 year of our relationship info inside). even on her msn's msg. then i actually broke the no contact rules.. i msn her . am i tat insignificant to her.. she say no, if not she would not have cry when she saw me at a club wif her new bf .. some of the thing is no point talking over msn, must talk face to face.. however i told her .. that it is okie that we talk over msn . then of course i wish her the best and hope she is happy .. then she also wanted me to continue to become her classmate.. as she suggest we should continue attend together.. i ask if i could date her out for food and movie she say why not as a friend.

    The confused part:
    i also asked her, if she knew that i will read her blog, she say yes... and tell me tat y alot of thing she is afraid to write as it will break my heart (but the entries actually most of them break my heart). why does she wanted to keep in contact with me like attending weekly japanese class together.. do she really wanted me as a frez... or using me as a spare..... i also asked her if she will miss me or think of me .. she say yes.. sometimes she will think of me all this and that .....

    To me she is really a wonderful GF i really hate the situation, maybe if she take a longer period .. to accept that guy .. but why....

    The future:
    Do i really want her back (at the moment yes)
    maybe you guy can provide me feedback on the situation...
    now i temporary block her in my contact as i really think No-contact is the best way now.. there is no reason or thing that we could talk.. she got herself a bf .... so fast.. and then .... i dunno whether they will last till they get married.. i really dunno .. i feel so insignificant to her...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    15
    We are so in the same situation, I mean how can they just throw away years for someone they like or have a small crush?

    My advice get away, no calls or msn. She soon will realize its a fling And sur is throwing it away for someone that ismore important.

    She thinks of you as a spare tire and wants to have fun while basically she could care less if your in pain. Just close her off.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Arab countries
    Posts
    4
    hay man

    my advice for you


    you should try to forget this girl ..

    because if she let you down this time .. she will let you down again and again ...

    this type of girls like to refresh her love every year


    try to build a new relationship with a new gilr


    mybe you'll feel some better


    and i know that it's hard to forget this love


    but you are a man ... and you should always be strong ^___^



    se you

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    2
    Thanks Guys.. i am trying hard to forget abt her.. and actually it is getting better and i am stronger each days... basically ... she also did not care if i am least hurt or not .. for a boyfriend that treat her faithfully and sincerely ... Everyday, afterwork i will try to meet up wif frez or go windows shopping... I hope not to see her.. and hope i be fine.... i am just so insignificant to her...

    My advise to people tat have the same situation.. lets be strong abt it... and also share ideas on how to go thru this situation.

    ..“I don’t miss her, I miss who I thought she was.”

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    No contact is the best way. You're doing the right thing.
    Spammer Spanker

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