Money hungry girlfriend – She says she wants me to pay her rent, or else NO SEX!

[qwertz]

Ok, I just bought a new car in cash, because I've got a lot of savings, and my girlfriends been in my car everyday since I bought it. So Should I ask her for half the money for it, given your arguments about why I should be paying HER rent? No. Another thing, if I was giving her Hundreds of pounds every month towards HER bills and rent and rubbish I wouldn't be able to put so much each month away to save for things like new cars and stuff, so surely she can see why I really dont want to be paying for HER bills. Thinking about it sensibly, she is paying the exact same for rent and electricity and heating and stuff whether I'm there or not, so I don't see how she can expect me to pay towards it when she pays the same amount even if I'm not there.


So I guess what I should be asking is what the cut off point is between being a guest and inhabiting? If I stay at hers 3 days, and still say my main place I live is my moms, will it be unreasonable of her to ask me for any rent then?*

So you dont use her water/gas/electricity then?

And shes not paying the exact same food shopping is she, because you are eating the food she buys. Why should you live without having to pay a penny apart from what you want to pay?

If you are just staying over a few nights a week then that is a different story...

[HeartIsAching]

I think you hit the nail on the head with that one - I lived in SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE. Why would I have to pay for rent and stuff there when I didn't have to in my own house? And no, I am not 12, I am 34 years old. I really don't know what age has to do with this, other than my girlfriend acting like a little kid just because my mom walked in on us instead of just laughing it off as I did.

34 year old, lives with his mom, doesn't get why he should pay half the rent in his GF's flat if he's living there?

Troll.

[surfhb]

Congrats! You get the twit of the year award!

[Mathias]

So let me get this straight - I should pay for half of HER rent? Why should I? She was paying all it before I moved in, so she's not any worse off. Also, I HAVE given her money towards food every now and then, even though I don't think I should have to.

You're absolutely right, man. More power to you for sticking to your convictions - this girl is completely nuts for asking you to help pay for stuff that you eat and help pay for the place you live.

Also, congrats on the huge paycheck. It has nothing to do with this conversation or the reason your girlfriend wants you to help pay for stuff, but it's awesome how you slipped in there how much money you make. It gives me a new sense of respect for you.

You should dump her and go flash your wallet at the bar. These chicks will be all over you, and will be inviting you to stay with them in no time. Plus, you can go back to living with your mom, and that's always a great pickup line for the ladies. I mean, who doesn't want to have the experience of having someone's mom walk in on them having sex? That's GREAT for a laugh!

Best of luck, bro.

[tremolo]

Ok, I just bought a new car in cash, because I've got a lot of savings, and my girlfriends been in my car everyday since I bought it. So Should I ask her for half the money for it, given your arguments about why I should be paying HER rent? No. Another thing, if I was giving her Hundreds of pounds every month towards HER bills and rent and rubbish I wouldn't be able to put so much each month away to save for things like new cars and stuff, so surely she can see why I really dont want to be paying for HER bills. Thinking about it sensibly, she is paying the exact same for rent and electricity and heating and stuff whether I'm there or not, so I don't see how she can expect me to pay towards it when she pays the same amount even if I'm not there.


So I guess what I should be asking is what the cut off point is between being a guest and inhabiting? If I stay at hers 3 days, and still say my main place I live is my moms, will it be unreasonable of her to ask me for any rent then?*

On the off-chance you are not a troll - which even I think you must be - if you were paying what you SHOULD be paying your girlfriend and she is using your car every day then she should be paying for a share of the petrol and insurance, if she's on it. However, since you are contributing nothing to living at her place, it seems only right she should get SOME perk out of having you there.

If you stayed over 3 nights a week, then yeah, it would be a bit more ambiguous as to whether you actually owe her rent - however, being her boyfriend, it seems that you would still pick up the bill once in awhile if she is cooking for you every night and taking care of you while you're there. Though I have never ever lived with a boyfriend, I have always made a point of contributing to the cost of whatever we do - at least as much as I can. My last boyfriend made tons of money while I made very little, yet I still forked out about 1/5-1/4 of my play money per month doing nice things for him to show him that I appreciated him and wasn't taking him for granted. What are you doing for your girlfriend to show her that?

[oldskool83]

stay over 3 nights a week, at least offer to pay somthing, for the love of god just buy the girl some food, dont tell me she didnt have food there for ya to eat. its common decentcy bud. and im sure the no sex was to get you attenion.

[bulrush]

While you live at her apartment more than 50% of the time, you should pay for half the rent, half the utilities, half the phone, half the internet, half the food, half of cable TV, and half of everything. If you move out, you don't have to pay anything.

She cannot demand half the rent AFTER you move out. You both need to agree on what you will pay BEFORE you move in with her, if you move in with her again. I think there's some confusion of when she demanded your half of the rent. Did you two have an agreement in place before you moved in with her? Or did she ask for half the rent when you moved out?

[Cerby]

This whole topic is a pile of shit. It sounds like there wasn't communication ahead of time on what the conditions were, if he was actually moving in, etc. My gf stays over all the time, and I don't expect her to give me money for it. But she owns her own place as well so she doesn't technically live with me, just stays over frequently because its just easier than putting our clothes back on

Key parts of this story are missing, for example, Did she ask him to move in? Were there defined living arrangements? Was he staying over and all of a sudden she threw the rent card in his face? Staying with someone for a period of time is like going on a long roadtrip in someone elses car, you may not own half the car, but you should pitch in for gas.

[elny1]

This is the most illogical thing I've ever heard. You're right when you ask the question "Why would I have to pay for rent and stuff there when I didn't have to in my own house?" You're not understanding the importance of natural growth and responsibility mainly because your mom is still babying you and paying for you. wtf man grow up. Move in with your girlfriend and pay half the rent. Be responsible for yourself and don't let others be responsible for you. Stop crying.

[kageri]

Troll or undateable.

[IndiReloaded]

Ok, I just bought a new car in cash, because I've got a lot of savings, and my girlfriends been in my car everyday since I bought it. So Should I ask her for half the money for it, given your arguments about why I should be paying HER rent? No.

Actually, if she had full access to the car anytime she wanted, her own set of keys, etc. and was using it 1/2 the time then yes, she should pay for half. But that's not what you are describing.

You are not merely showing up at her door everyday to pick her up. You are sleeping, eating, showering etc. at her place. If you did this for a month straight then yes, you should certainly offer to pay for part of the rent. If you stayed at a hotel, getting the same amenities, it would certainly cost.

I bet mommy is glad you are gone. LOL.

[scott green]

It sounds like there wasn't communication ahead of time on what the conditions were, if he was actually moving in, etc. My gf stays over all the time, and I don't expect her to give me money for it. But she owns her own place as well so she doesn't technically live with me, just stays over frequently because its just easier than putting our clothes back on

Key parts of this story are missing, for example, Did she ask him to move in? Were there defined living arrangements? Was he staying over and all of a sudden she threw the rent card in his face? Staying with someone for a period of time is like going on a long roadtrip in someone elses car, you may not own half the car, but you should pitch in for gas.

Thanks mate, I'm glad at least ONE PERSON on this topic sees where I'm coming from here. NO, there was NO discussion at all about me moving it, and NO there were NO defined living arrangements. It was just a case of her asking me to stay over more and more and more, and then right out the blue she expects me to pay half her rent bill. I am actually quite angered over this. I mean, if she had been upfront about it, and said "Hey, I want you to stay over tonight, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe the next day, we can spend all day in bed making love, but I'm gonna charge you £200 for it after a month, and start asking for cash for food and shit" I would have been, like, no f-ing way, what are you? A whore or something? You know you often hear of rich guys who have situations where they have a wife and family and a big house, but they also have a lover and they pay their lovers rent and for their bills and house and everything just to keep them sweet, and it just felt like I was being used like that. I mean, I know I'm staying there a lot, but it's still HER flat and HER bills and everything. To answer your question - Yes, I was staying over, and yes, she did suddenly just throw the rent in my face. No warning, no discussions or nothing, just "Hey, you been here a month or so, I think you should start paying half my rent and everything". Totally out of order.

[tremolo]

If you're this bothered by her requests, which, as we have all been saying are totally normal, then why don't you stop complaining and go back home to mommy dearest? You can keep living the dream in Peter Pan world, and meanwhile, your girlfriend can cut you loose and go find herself a grown ass man. Everybody wins! - except you, maybe, when you realize no women want to spread their legs for never-never-land boys.

[surfhb]

Thanks mate, I'm glad at least ONE PERSON on this topic sees where I'm coming from here. NO, there was NO discussion at all about me moving it, and NO there were NO defined living arrangements. It was just a case of her asking me to stay over more and more and more, and then right out the blue she expects me to pay half her rent bill. I am actually quite angered over this. I mean, if she had been upfront about it, and said "Hey, I want you to stay over tonight, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe the next day, we can spend all day in bed making love, but I'm gonna charge you £200 for it after a month, and start asking for cash for food and shit" I would have been, like, no f-ing way, what are you? A whore or something? You know you often hear of rich guys who have situations where they have a wife and family and a big house, but they also have a lover and they pay their lovers rent and for their bills and house and everything just to keep them sweet, and it just felt like I was being used like that. I mean, I know I'm staying there a lot, but it's still HER flat and HER bills and everything. To answer your question - Yes, I was staying over, and yes, she did suddenly just throw the rent in my face. No warning, no discussions or nothing, just "Hey, you been here a month or so, I think you should start paying half my rent and everything". Totally out of order.

Youre beyond a twit

[scott green]

If you're this bothered by her requests, which, as we have all been saying are totally normal.

Says YOU, but others on this thread agree with me that I have a VALID point. There were NO discussions prior to me moving in on paying half HER rent, and I think that's the main issue here that she's just ASSUMED I'm going to pay for half a house that is HERS. I have discussed it with her, even suggesting that if she wants us to move in together we go and find a flat / house that we have BOTH CHOSEN TOGETHER, and we pay half the rent there together, but she is unwilling to do that as she says she has stayed in that house for 6 years and it's hers, which is my point - It's HER flat, not OURS, so I really dont see why I should have to pay her to stay there when it's obviously not my house. It just seems that everything is on HER terms, and I don't get a say in it, and if I want a relationship with her I'm going to have to pay her to stay in HER place, with HER name on the rent agreement, and not have something I even had a hand in choosing. It's not at all that I am not willing to pay towards living with her. I just dont see why I should have to pay to live in HER flat.