is that weird to kiss a girl if..

[GLYC]

So much is wrong with this picture. I'm reading the bits and pieces because there's so much information and posts in here. And some bad advice given, in my opinion.

You sound friend zoned. Make your intentions clear, dont agree to be friends with a woman you want to date, that's a phony false friendships. Men in those situations rarely get anywhere. They hold off hoping she will see how great of a guy he is, while she sleeps with other dudes and you wait at her Beck and call. It's unattractive.

You're planning a must kiss situation. You're not even on a date with her.

What I would do, ask her on a date, if she rejects, alright let me know if you change your mind but I can't continue to be "just your friend". Cheers

And then I would walk away. She knows I'm interested in romance, not friendship.
She will contact me if she changes her mind, and if she doesn't, no worries, I'll be moving on with my life dating new women.

[Snow White]

My dear, as a mature woman I can honestly say and agree with GLYC, that you are in the "friend zone". You could be the sweetest guy in the world, which it seems you are, but she has told you how she feels and no kiss will change that. If you are in love with her, you will only find heartache. You are looking for signs that just aren't there. Giving her a kiss on the lips will mean much more to you than to her and the length or the way it is done could just make her uncomfortable.

[AT95]

My dear, as a mature woman I can honestly say and agree with GLYC, that you are in the "friend zone". You could be the sweetest guy in the world, which it seems you are, but she has told you how she feels and no kiss will change that. If you are in love with her, you will only find heartache. You are looking for signs that just aren't there. Giving her a kiss on the lips will mean much more to you than to her and the length or the way it is done could just make her uncomfortable.

So much is wrong with this picture. I'm reading the bits and pieces because there's so much information and posts in here. And some bad advice given, in my opinion.

You sound friend zoned. Make your intentions clear, dont agree to be friends with a woman you want to date, that's a phony false friendships. Men in those situations rarely get anywhere. They hold off hoping she will see how great of a guy he is, while she sleeps with other dudes and you wait at her Beck and call. It's unattractive.

You're planning a must kiss situation. You're not even on a date with her.

What I would do, ask her on a date, if she rejects, alright let me know if you change your mind but I can't continue to be "just your friend". Cheers

And then I would walk away. She knows I'm interested in romance, not friendship.
She will contact me if she changes her mind, and if she doesn't, no worries, I'll be moving on with my life dating new women.

Ok,there is something that I didn't share with anyone yet but I'm going to do it right now so maybe that way you will understand where all this comes from.
We both live in different cities (faraway from each other) and right now the only thing that keep our friendship alive is our work because,
we are working together and this way we meet almost everyday.. But in two months from now I'm moving to a different place
wich means that it will be harder for us to arrange meetings/dates however you call it..
wich means that I have two more months to hang our around her and thats it.
I mean, we will still stay in touch and maybe try to meet here and there a couple of times and do something together
but it wont be the same anymore.. And the only reason I want to kiss her is to show her once again how much important she is for me
and how much I liked her (and still do), I also bought her a present that I'm sure no one ever gave her before,
not even her ex that she told me about alot.. But I'm not trying to change her opinion about me or anything like that.
I already know that its over and that I will never have anything with her more than what I have now
but again I still really really like her and I'm not going to kick her out of my life because of that cuz I'm not that type of guy.
And actually I knew from the start that the chances that she will tell me that she loves me back are really low,
and even than I promised her that I will never leave her or act shit to her because of it..
Because thats the life right? you cant force someone to love you back and in my opinion its just stupid to erase someone out of your life
because he or she doesn't feel about you the same as you feel about them.
thats also the reason why I'm planning to kiss her or at least try to do that on her birthday because its not just a regular kiss
and I think that it is the best momment to do that.

[Snow White]

If you want to kiss her, then kiss her. By now I would think she realizes what a wonderful friend she has in you. It sounds like you are being a bit more realistic about the whole friendship. You sound so sweet and kind and I know there is someone out there that will be able to return your loving feelings.

[AT95]

If you want to kiss her, then kiss her. By now I would think she realizes what a wonderful friend she has in you. It sounds like you are being a bit more realistic about the whole friendship. You sound so sweet and kind and I know there is someone out there that will be able to return your loving feelings.

I never thought that I can be so sensitive about it,
I am really at the point where I'm ready to do ANYTHING to please her and make her happier
and I believe she knows that, also when we have little "fights" she always remind me how important I am for her..
(she never really told me what does she think/feel about me because whenever I asked her she always got shy and changed the subject but she always told me that Im important for her so I dont know).
I'm not sure if I am friendzoned or not but anyway thank you very much for your comment, I'll try to do my best haha

[GLYC]

Ok,there is something that I didn't share with anyone yet but I'm going to do it right now so maybe that way you will understand where all this comes from.
We both live in different cities (faraway from each other) and right now the only thing that keep our friendship alive is our work because,
we are working together and this way we meet almost everyday.. But in two months from now I'm moving to a different place
wich means that it will be harder for us to arrange meetings/dates however you call it..
wich means that I have two more months to hang our around her and thats it.
I mean, we will still stay in touch and maybe try to meet here and there a couple of times and do something together
but it wont be the same anymore.. And the only reason I want to kiss her is to show her once again how much important she is for me
and how much I liked her (and still do), I also bought her a present that I'm sure no one ever gave her before,
not even her ex that she told me about alot.. But I'm not trying to change her opinion about me or anything like that.
I already know that its over and that I will never have anything with her more than what I have now
but again I still really really like her and I'm not going to kick her out of my life because of that cuz I'm not that type of guy.
And actually I knew from the start that the chances that she will tell me that she loves me back are really low,
and even than I promised her that I will never leave her or act shit to her because of it..
Because thats the life right? you cant force someone to love you back and in my opinion its just stupid to erase someone out of your life
because he or she doesn't feel about you the same as you feel about them.
thats also the reason why I'm planning to kiss her or at least try to do that on her birthday because its not just a regular kiss
and I think that it is the best momment to do that.

" I also bought her a present that I'm sure no one ever gave her before,
.. But I'm not trying to change her opinion about me or anything like that."

In my opinion, that's what this comes off as. You trying to change her mind. Honestly, I never gave a present to a woman I was just even dating, it comes off as a bribe.
All I'm saying is if you're fine with friendship, then Hey, power to you. If you can stand being around her and meeting each of her new boyfriends as they come and go, then I guess you're on a route with that.

Never try to follow what those romantic comedy movies portray. The overly nice guy who is the girls friend who holds out forever thinking if he sticks around just long enough, she will change her mind. In real life, that rarely happens. However, some of the media likes to portray life as being like that, after all it does make a good story (the good guy finally succeeds!). Naturally some of us become conditioned to think like this, and how can a person not when media such as music, movies and TV shows state this is how it works.

For me personally. I'm content with being apart from people and going separate ways. I've met many great women and great friends throughout my life, however, our interests and what was important to us changed. We went in other directions and im fine with that, I have no ill feelings towards those people whatsoever. It's part of life and every relationship is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. I'm sure those people feel the same way as well.

Cheers bud, it sounds like you have your own plan. Do what YOU want.

[AT95]

" I also bought her a present that I'm sure no one ever gave her before,
.. But I'm not trying to change her opinion about me or anything like that."

In my opinion, that's what this comes off as. You trying to change her mind. Honestly, I never gave a present to a woman I was just even dating, it comes off as a bribe.
All I'm saying is if you're fine with friendship, then Hey, power to you. If you can stand being around her and meeting each of her new boyfriends as they come and go, then I guess you're on a route with that.

Never try to follow what those romantic comedy movies portray. The overly nice guy who is the girls friend who holds out forever thinking if he sticks around just long enough, she will change her mind. In real life, that rarely happens. However, some of the media likes to portray life as being like that, after all it does make a good story (the good guy finally succeeds!).

For me personally. I'm content with being apart from people and going separate ways. I've met many great women and great friends throughout my life, however, our interests and what was important to us changed. We went in other directions and im fine with that, I have no ill feelings towards those people whatsoever. It's part of life and every relationship is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. I'm sure those people feel the same way as well.

Cheers bud, it sounds like you have your own plan. Do what YOU want.

Again,I'm not trying to get anything from her by any of this actions.
I also gave her something in the past on the International Womens Day and on Valentine's day because thats the way I was raised nothing more than that.
And I never expected anything from her in return.
And yeah,she is the only girl that I ever treated like this so far.

[pcmaster]

Good that you didnt expected anything from her because of your gifts, cause theres no quarantee.

Last Valentines day I gave girl a big plush bear. It was so soft and nice and beautiful that even I started to like it. Wasnt cheap either but I said that I have a valentines gift for her so had to give it. The same day she dumped me and unfriended on FB despite that we agreed to stay friends. So yeah it wasnt bad that she dumped me cause I didnt liked her anyway but I missed bear cause it felt like I gave away part of me. So yeah morale of the story man is dont give girl anything thats valuable in some way to you.

Fck theres no limit how bad girl can fck over guys. I wanted to say that I been treated like shit but no even shit gets treated better cause at least they dont emotionaly hurt it.

Back to your topic - in short if you want to change her mind then change how she feels and she will change her mind. Arousal no matter from who it comes - is arousal so that alone does magic. Well if you gona kiss her most likey she wont get arousal except if its her first kiss and you are good kisser. However even if its your first kiss it takes balls and balls are attractive to girls. She will like you more just because and its attractive for girls- guy who goes after what he wants.

[CleanCut]

Maybe I missed something..., but are you dating this girl or not?

[AT95]

Maybe I missed something..., but are you dating this girl or not?

no we are not dating

[CleanCut]

Ok, this is quite simple then; ask her out, and if she is not interested, then just leave her be and don't kiss her in any way, and just move on to someone else...

[AT95]

I ruined everything I built with her with that kiss
Fck my life

[Hooo!]

If you are not gay and you want to be in a relationship
How about spending some time together?

- - - Updated - - -

You cannot ruin what you never had.

All that you have build up was an image of you as an unattracted male with no balls.

There is no such thing as the friend zone
There is only ways in which you portray yourself and terms of relationships and social status you accept

That's why I told you not to accept the gay friend cheek kiss status

[GLYC]

Move on bud. Take some time to accept your hurt, and then move on.

We tried to tell you what to do (making your intentions clear). But you had other plans.

Realistically, I don't think you would have gotten last the friendship stage based on how long you have been friends for. But there was a chance by stating your intentions and then walking away unless/until she reciprocates, women love when men are clear with their intentions and go for what they want.

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I have to say the more you've shared about your story, the more I am with what some of the more recent responses have had to say. Now, don't misunderstand me when I say this, but if you are going to share your story, you would be best to share all the most important details as well. Even if you just give them as a quick summary. Just because you've maybe already discussed your story in other threads, don't assume that means people have read that or will remember. You may get people seeing this new thread who didn't see the old threads. You may get people who did but didn't respond. Heck, we get so many people coming and going here, it can even be hard to remember who is who.

I can't speak for anybody else, but I don't have time, every time I see a new thread, to go back through the person's history to see if any of their previous posts are related. So, unless I happen to remember, I can only respond based on what was shared in that thread. Again, just sharing that as advice for all. Believe me, I understand why maybe you didn't want to get into all of it when you've already discussed it before, but you can see how then you maybe don't end up getting the most relevant advice.

Anyway, as some of the more recent responses have said, if somebody has told you they only see you as a friend, then you are best to take that at face value. So, kissing her should have just been out of the question. I don't know about you, but I don't go around kissing my friends, male or female.

Furthermore, you say you are okay just being her friend and nothing more. If that were true, that is GREAT, and more power to you.... but then in the same paragraph, you are still talking about wanting to kiss her. So, again, I think maybe you aren't as okay with it as you may think. And, again, please don't misunderstand. I'm not blaming you or trying to make you feel bad. I think we've all been there at some time. I know I have. So, I'm just offering advice as somebody who knows how this feels.

And, sure, you are perfectly right not to want to hurt her feelings. That is awesome of you. But... that doesn't have to mean that you let yours be constantly hurt. Which, even though that 100% isn't her intention, that is what this situation does. It hurts you because you really want to be more than friends, but that can't happen.

Unfortunately, it sounds like now maybe our advice is too late. From your latest update, it sounds like you kissed her and it didn't go well. I am very sorry to hear that. Despite the fact that it wouldn't have been my advice given all the facts you've shared.... I still wish it had worked out well for you. I know it is hard to see this now, but at least the good thing is now you know for sure. So, at least that is good. You can move on knowing you tried, so at least you don't have to wonder "what if?" Good luck to you in the future. Believe me, the hurt you must be feeling now will fade in time. In time, you will find somebody else who interests you just as much or even more. Eventually, you will find somebody who actually reciprocates that interest. Good luck to you, friend.