Need some advice

[shh!]

Eh, I didn't read about this girl. I just read the posts from the regulars. hehe

[Lloyd95]

Damn, I just got shot down; what a blow to my ego

[Junsui]

I really just want to make her admit she has a thing for me. I don't really want to be the one to say I have a crush on you and blah blah blah. I want to just bring up some things she has done in the past that makes it obvious she has a thing for me. It's not that I want to make her nervous, it's just I want her to stop lying and bullshitting to me. So hopefully when she is pretty much on the spot, she will give me some straight up answers. It's not even the answers, it's really her facial expressions, because when I look her in the eye, I can pretty much tell what it is she's thinking and feeling. I know a lot of you would disagree with this, but i really want to do it to her. Theres just so many things she's done that I can get her with.

You want her to stop bullshitting you? What are you doing to her? You are both doing the same thing. I agree with Tone on that I don't see this going very far.

[shh!]

Because I read what Junsui is responding to, I agree with Junsui.

[Fajemeister]

It's not that I want to play games, but I don't want to really take a chance and end up screwing up our relationship that we have right now. The thing is I kinda want to get back at her because she came out of nowhere and asked me if I had a crush on her, and then she kept insisting that I respond with an answer immediatly. I hate getting put on the spot like that. I even talked about it last night with some of the other girls I work with and they all said they aren't suprised if this girl does have a thing for me or if I have a thing for her because we work together a lot.

I really hate playing these kiddy games, but I said I would do it in person just to get her anxious, which I did. But I really rather talk face to face. I mean she's trying everything she can to get me to tell her, you name it and she's tried it. I mean, I'm normally very open, but when it comes to the whole dating scene and having crushes on people, I get bottled up.

[Junsui]

God, you are such a hypocrite. You hate that she asked you out of nowhere if you had a crush on her, so you are going to do it back to her? How old are you?

[Fajemeister]

God, you are such a hypocrite. You hate that she asked you out of nowhere if you had a crush on her, so you are going to do it back to her? How old are you?

I really just want to get the entire situation out in the open with her. I think I'm just going to start by asking why she asked me if I had a crush on her. I really want to get everything in the open that way we could discuss everything. I honestly think it's the best approach. Or I could just do it the way Tone or Lloyd mentioned.

[Junsui]

I think the best approach is to just tell her, but you won't do that. You want to manipulate the situation so the pressure is put back on her. I'm not trying to just jump all over you about this. I just think you should be straight-forward with things like this. There is too much effort going into just getting it out in the open with you two.

[Tone]

I mean, I'm normally very open, but when it comes to the whole dating scene and having crushes on people, I get bottled up.

I can relate.

When I was 16 I was the same way. How old are you btw? Anyways, so I'm 16. There is this HOT, I mean HOT girl that lives down the street from me and I notice, and the other kids on the block, that she watches us play basketball in the alley by my house. So I start to hang out with her.. she invites me over to watch movies.. and I get to know her friends. Well it's obvious she likes me.. her friends tell me she says I'm so hot and wants to be my girlfriend. But I BS and don't do anything about it!

I remember sitting there on her steps looking up in the clouds asking myself what am I waiting for... why won't I just take the first step here and ask her out? What is it I'm so afraid of? It can't be rejection, I know she's going to say yes. I think it's because we are afraid of the unknown. How old are you? How much relationship experience do you have? At the time, I had never had anything serious with a girl, so I was afraid of what it could mean. And of course, I was being chicken, like you are. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there... but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Yes, yes it is. It's what life is all about, man.

Think about it. Here you are at a crossroads. You can either:

#1 - Put yourself out there for this girl. Turn up the heat, do whatever it takes to take things to the next level and make her your girlfriend. True, you do risk your friendship. Risk a friendship for love? I'll do it everyday of the week. But what is that friendship based on? Your attraction to her, no?

Which leads to #2 - You do nothing. You keep the friendship. But with it comes the torture in your mind, always wonderin "What if...?" What if I told her how I felt. What if we could have had a lasting relationship? What if we could have been great together, created so many memories, shared so many laughs and tears together?" Seeing her with other guys, building this resentment inside you, picturing yourself in their shoes.

Life is about love. Love is about courage. Courage is about fear. Not an absence of fear, but rather realizing some things are just more important than your fears. The greatest things in life are never easy, especially when it comes to love.

Life is short. Opportunities to find love are few. I'm not saying you are going to fall madly in love with each other, but you like this girl, she likes you, that's the way it usually starts. ;)

Don't be afraid. There is no shame in looking for love. BTW - I finally did ask that girl out when I was 16. She was getting ready to go to the pool where the guys were constantly hounding her.. so, at that moment, I realized my opportunity is closing, and that mine and her potential happiness was more important than my fear and insecurities. She said yes, of course. We dated for a year and had a lot of memories, and learned a lot from each other. Had I never said anything, I would have never got to experience something so beautiful, instead I would have to live with the worse thing to live with in life - Regret.

[Lloyd95]

she watches us play basketball in the alley by my house.

What'd, you grow up in the ghetto?

[Junsui]

What'd, you grow up in the ghetto?

lol Lloyd


What a beautiful story, Tone.

[Tone]

Hey my mom had to raise 3 kids by herself... didn't even get her child support from my dad (which she's going after now...)

[Junsui]

Why didn't she go after child support before? She did a great job raising you.

[Lloyd95]

She did a great job raising you.

Eh, I wouldn't say great, more like so-so

[Fajemeister]

I can relate.

When I was 16 I was the same way. How old are you btw? Anyways, so I'm 16. There is this HOT, I mean HOT girl that lives down the street from me and I notice, and the other kids on the block, that she watches us play basketball in the alley by my house. So I start to hang out with her.. she invites me over to watch movies.. and I get to know her friends. Well it's obvious she likes me.. her friends tell me she says I'm so hot and wants to be my girlfriend. But I BS and don't do anything about it!

I remember sitting there on her steps looking up in the clouds asking myself what am I waiting for... why won't I just take the first step here and ask her out? What is it I'm so afraid of? It can't be rejection, I know she's going to say yes. I think it's because we are afraid of the unknown. How old are you? How much relationship experience do you have? At the time, I had never had anything serious with a girl, so I was afraid of what it could mean. And of course, I was being chicken, like you are. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there... but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Yes, yes it is. It's what life is all about, man.

Think about it. Here you are at a crossroads. You can either:

#1 - Put yourself out there for this girl. Turn up the heat, do whatever it takes to take things to the next level and make her your girlfriend. True, you do risk your friendship. Risk a friendship for love? I'll do it everyday of the week. But what is that friendship based on? Your attraction to her, no?

Which leads to #2 - You do nothing. You keep the friendship. But with it comes the torture in your mind, always wonderin "What if...?" What if I told her how I felt. What if we could have had a lasting relationship? What if we could have been great together, created so many memories, shared so many laughs and tears together?" Seeing her with other guys, building this resentment inside you, picturing yourself in their shoes.

Life is about love. Love is about courage. Courage is about fear. Not an absence of fear, but rather realizing some things are just more important than your fears. The greatest things in life are never easy, especially when it comes to love.

Life is short. Opportunities to find love are few. I'm not saying you are going to fall madly in love with each other, but you like this girl, she likes you, that's the way it usually starts.

Don't be afraid. There is no shame in looking for love. BTW - I finally did ask that girl out when I was 16. She was getting ready to go to the pool where the guys were constantly hounding her.. so, at that moment, I realized my opportunity is closing, and that mine and her potential happiness was more important than my fear and insecurities. She said yes, of course. We dated for a year and had a lot of memories, and learned a lot from each other. Had I never said anything, I would have never got to experience something so beautiful, instead I would have to live with the worse thing to live with in life - Regret.

Thanks for story. I'm 19, she's 18. I mean part of the reason I'm afraid is she is really really attractive. But thats not the reason I like her. I love her personality. I feel we've really grown on eachother, I mean thats even what some of the other girls at work were telling me last night. I think I might just go with the flow tomorrow and just lay all the cards out on the table. I mean if we discuss it in an adult way, there should honestly be no damage to our friendship if things do or don't work out with the dating scene. I just really want to know why she had to know right away if I had a crush on her. I mean, she wanted a yes/no answer immediatly, I took it like she must have been wondering this for a while then if she really wanted to know that fast.