What to make of hookup?

[misombra]

yeah, i think you were just experimenting and having fun. but you have to be careful with yourself. you have to believe that you are better than going home with some person you hardly know. do you know what happens to young girls out there? it's a scary place, you have to protect yourself. but you didn't have sex with him, and he is voluntary stepping away from your life, so everything should be fine.

[lauren_gal25]

Ok, so here's the deal. I don't plan to have sex w/this guy or any guy before marriage- sooo glad he was the one to stop since I probably wouldn't have last wknd. I think somehow he knew either I was a virgin or I didn't really want to have intercourse by the way I said "ok". He might have realized I was drunk and didn't want to take advantage of me- he is a good guy as far as that goes, I know. He's good friends w/my guy friends and they think a lot of him. I don't go home w/just any guy, that's for sure.

Anyway, I usually am upfront w/a guy that I won't have intercourse, but for some reason wasn't that night. I feel bad for being a tease and probably confusing him. What should I do?? I would like to send him an email b/c too long to text, just to make things clear b/c I know I'll see him around w/friends even if no more hookups and don't want it to be awkward. I'd explain that I had a good time, didn't mean to tease, like to have fun and if he wants to mess around again w/everything but intercourse that's fine & I don't want a relationship but he has to know I won't do "the deed". Would that just make things more awkward? How would a guy react to that? Definitely got into a complicated situation here, I know, and I shouldn't care but just want to make things straight w/him

[clynn]

He probably would wonder how come you want to fool around but not have a relationship.

[misombra]

i say leave his ass alone.

[vashti]

Save your dignity and stay away from him.

[Confused2005]

A text might come across weird if you are not really careful....much better to give him a phone call so you can explain yourself properly.

[Late_vamp]

sometimes the objective isnt the prize but rather the challenge . I think thats what happened ... he liked you , tought you would put up some sort of challenge but barely a couple of hours pass by and your there willing to have sex ...... no challenge ... way to easy , us men sometimes need to have a little challenge . So after he knows he can snatch you so easely , some attraction goes away ... altho i still would have hit that regardless if challenging or not .

OR ... maybe he dint find you attractive , and then after you came back he was sober ...so no more beer googles . So he just pulled out the ol "im tired" shit line on you .

i say grow some standards woman .... dont complain after you give yourself away so easely .

[whaywardj]

Yeah. It sounds a little like you're trying to undo the past. I'd drop it and chalk one up to experience. Move on.

[lauren_gal25]

Yeah. It sounds a little like you're trying to undo the past. I'd drop it and chalk one up to experience. Move on.

Ok, ok, so here's the deal. I am disappointed he did not want to have sex w/me b/c I don't know why- he is a super player and I know he found me attractive b/c he hit on me from the beginning of the night... A mutual good friend says he can hook us up this weekend by talking to the guy and he'll be a bit drunk to help out too.

But, Newsflash: I am not a virgin anymore and it is so freeing! I was with a good friend that we sometimes have benefits, last night, and instead of the usual other stuff we had intercourse... I did not even realize it was completely that until he told me, b/c it did not hurt like I expected. Anyway, I thought it would be painful & immediately emotionally attach me to the person, but neither was true. Neither of us care if one finds a significant other or hooks up w/someone else. So... I now feel free to sleep with a guy if I want to- yeah not just anyone and be safe and all, but this one is super hot and I do just want to give it a 2nd chance. Please save the slut comments, guys. I don't want a relationship- realize I can be a player w/sex and all just like he is- wouldn't a guy like that want to go for it?

[Lloyd95]

But, Newsflash: I am not a virgin anymore and it is so freeing! I was with a good friend that we sometimes have benefits, last night, and instead of the usual other stuff we had intercourse...

Yeah, why would we call you "slutty"?

[Tone]

LAUREN...

I'm so disappointed..........

[vashti]

Girl "player"? Gross. No wonder the first guy doesn't want you.

[TAVS]

Now you're an official Slut; I dont even have to tease anymore. What a disappointment; you missed out on a quality life memory right there.

[misombra]

Ok, ok, so here's the deal. I am disappointed he did not want to have sex w/me b/c I don't know why- he is a super player and I know he found me attractive b/c he hit on me from the beginning of the night... A mutual good friend says he can hook us up this weekend by talking to the guy and he'll be a bit drunk to help out too.

But, Newsflash: I am not a virgin anymore and it is so freeing! I was with a good friend that we sometimes have benefits, last night, and instead of the usual other stuff we had intercourse... I did not even realize it was completely that until he told me, b/c it did not hurt like I expected. Anyway, I thought it would be painful & immediately emotionally attach me to the person, but neither was true. Neither of us care if one finds a significant other or hooks up w/someone else. So... I now feel free to sleep with a guy if I want to- yeah not just anyone and be safe and all, but this one is super hot and I do just want to give it a 2nd chance. Please save the slut comments, guys. I don't want a relationship- realize I can be a player w/sex and all just like he is- wouldn't a guy like that want to go for it?

you're joking, right?

[whaywardj]

Seems as if osteoporosis of the mind is catching up with many posters, what with the ultra-conservative outlooks many seem to have on Lauren's choices.

I see nothing wrong, or even out of the ordinary, about her exercising her sexual prowess responsibly.