Another String Along? - Help Please

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, but you can't control that. Those three good nights might save your relationship. I hope so, because you seem to want it, but I'd like to remind you that Plan B is always a good thing to have. I don't mean date somebody else, just don't pin all of your hopes to her. Understand that life will go on no matter what she does. It might make it easier to be less anxious about her.

[poweredbuyer]

Hi Giga and Vashti,

Hope all is well. Thanks for your prompt replies as always :-)

I really do want this to work but the last few days I thought about what you said I will not put all my eggs in one basket and concentrate on one girl. Now I am not ready to date others but I will slowly detach and eventually perhaps I may. The lack of commitment on her part is the biggest issue but since I have been on business she has been emailing me and occasionally caling once a day to say I love u miss u etc ...

A part of me wants to believe that but a part also understands girls are girls and will do anything to get what they want in the present. If I am not meant to be then so be it ... I suppose I cant predict the future ... but what I do know is that I can better myself and work on removing these insecurities ... so thats my focus ... I find that now I have changed my thinking I am worrying more about my own situation ie. finances, career, health more than worrying about her ....

Time will tell ... any last thoughts would be welcomed and thanks yet again !

Regards,

Powered

[King Zarathu]

Hi Giga and Vashti,

Hope all is well. Thanks for your prompt replies as always :-)

They have no lives.

[poweredbuyer]

They have no lives.

And the reason you posted this was??? ... While u are entitled to your opinion wasting the time to type that clearly indicates the opposite but rather reflects that perhaps you are describing yourself?

If you have something positive to contribute please do otherwise keep things to yourself...

thanks

poweredbuyer

[King Zarathu]

And the reason you posted this was??? ... While u are entitled to your opinion wasting the time to type that clearly indicates the opposite but rather reflects that perhaps you are describing yourself?

If you have something positive to contribute please do otherwise keep things to yourself...

thanks

poweredbuyer

You know what you could've done to increase the blatancy of your intellect? Put this at the very top:


LOOOOL!!!!!1!!!1111

Cut yourself.

[Mathias]

And the reason you posted this was??? ... While u are entitled to your opinion wasting the time to type that clearly indicates the opposite but rather reflects that perhaps you are describing yourself?

If you have something positive to contribute please do otherwise keep things to yourself...

thanks

poweredbuyer

Sorry, I don't comprehend this.

[vashti]

They have no lives.

I think a hit to his reputation points would be in order for this remark..

[King Zarathu]

I think a hit to his reputation points would be in order for this remark..

Uh huh. I could lower yours to under 100 if I wanted to. I have enough email addresses, anyway.

[poweredbuyer]

*Update*

So we spent quite a bit of time together this week and all of a sudden after she mentioned she clearly told this other guy not to call her anymore he did on thursday night. He called at 10pm and she told me he called I asked her to call him back. She said "You want me to tell him in front of you" and she did. She was very polite and stated "I don't think we should talk anymore because I have a boyfriend and he is here and I dont feel the same way you do".

This guy tried to convince her this was "unfair" etc. I picked up and yelled at him saying leave her alone back off prick. And he says to me "Are you afraid of a little competition"?... "Did she tell you she kissed me". Meanwhile my girl is denying everything in the background yelling at him saying "why are you lying I didnt. We just did math homework, why are you ruining my relationship".

I freaked out rightfully so at this and asked to leave because this was hard to deal with. She has never shown that much emotion and had a breakdown begging me to give her a chance to make it right. I told her I don't want her to feel this way nor do I so please leave. She wanted me to tell her everything was ok but I was hurting so I couldnt say that. She keeps re-itterating let me make this right I want to Marry u be with you etc ... But then again from experience girls can get emotional and say what they have to in a certain situation.

Since then im taking it casual and still keeping her there because I do love her however I am suspicious not because of the other guy he looked pretty pathetic the other night (plus he called her house at 1am and spoke to her mom demanding to meet her and he liked her alot).

This is getting nutz ... I know they only hooked up once and hardly talk once a week but she must be keeping him there for some reason. She also called him crying about an argument we had when all this started ....

Screw other guys they will come and go I cant control that ... but what I can try to figure out is does she want to be with me? Is she clearly unsure and should I back off or in-turn spend more time with her ?

Somebody once told me showing to much desperation and spending time with someone can turn them off and make them yet again wander away. Make them want u? ... Is this a myth about women or facts? ... I been dating her for 1.3 years so I thought games were done.

Thanks all !

PB

[Gigabitch]

No, you know the games weren't even close to done, because of the parents thing. She sounds like a very confused girl.

In my suspicious mind, I believe she did kiss that other guy. I guess she's trying to figure out what to do with her life, and going through a pretty rough journey about it, too. It's too bad she's dragging you along.

I don't think she's ready for you. It would be nice if she was, but I think she's just showing herself, once again, to be unreliable and uncommitted.

I don't think it means you have to dump her, but keep your eyes open and protect yourself.

[poweredbuyer]

I think she may have kissed him too ... if he really wanted to sabotage the relationship he could have said worse right???

Bottom line she is confused and un-commited thats for sure ...

Im trying hard by saying "lets take salsa classes" she got excited and now as of next week we are commited to going 2 times per week plus we spend weekends together where is the time for the other guy should he still exist?

If she doesn't introduce me to her parents by 2nd week of December i have to end it to protect myself or in-turn string her along because this is getting bad.

It hurt alot this last few weeks but I am starting to concentrate on myself and im showing her I care and Im getting positive reactions she calls and emails alot more.

But the commitment part is what I want ... back off or stay focused on getting her?

[Gigabitch]

Just go dancing for now, you know? It doesn't have to be one or the other. You're in holding pattern right now- so hold!

The parents- she may be iffy about introducing you right now because of the phone call the other guy made. Lucky for you he did that- what an asenine thing for him to do, crossing a huge boundary of hers and most likely taking himself out of the game completely. You didn't have to do a thing. Convenient. You should thank him the next time you see him.

[Mathias]

Wait, she lied? About something that serious?

Game over for me, dude. Too many women out there.

[poweredbuyer]

Hi Giga,

Ur right ... what an assenine thing for him to do. He is showing clear signs of desperation yet she is giving me the time of the day ie. Friday, Saturday and whenever I call her during the week but making him the doormat. I should thank him. I have a date set in my mind and I am going to be strong till then and continue beyond that.

If I dont see initiative on meeting her parents by mid Dec then peace out have a nice life and stay truthful to that so she feels the pain.

Let her run into the arms of another guy she is just gonna miss me more right? ... not like it matters but its always good to know u have the upper hand :-) ... thats human behaviour ....

Im building a thick skin ... while I started self medicating with alcohol and cigarettes with the first two weeks now I am emersed in my friends and life ! ...

Hopefully I stick on this path ...

[Varulfr]

Having not read any of the replies because i'm lazy, I shall leave with this;


From what i've learned from my friends who are of the female pursuasion, the following can be identified as "fact"


1. Women are evil. All my female friends agree with this.

2. A woman will lie to keep from hurting your feelings. This does not necessarily mean she has alternative motives, she's just trying to protect you because she thinks the issue might be damaging if brought to light. In the scientific world, this is called a "White Lie".


Don't worry, mate, give her a chance and some trust, but make certain that she knows she can trust you to not freak out if she wants to have coffee with an ex. It's coffee, man, not a gang bang. You guys need to have that trust, then she'll tell you things and not have to worry about hurting you and you'll be able to trust her not to slink behind your back.

As to the parent thing? Meh, who cares? Perhaps they're embarassing, perhaps there really just hasn't been a good time. Worrying about it isn't going to get you anywhere, so either ask her front up or let it go, it's really not important.

Luck, mate!