Quick Question

[Mish]

I've never met anyone from the internet. It would make me nervous to do so. And I'm reasonably sure I can take care of myself. Imagine what it's like for a woman.

Respect the fact that she's smart and cautious. No matter how nice you seem and no matter how well the two of you get along, for all she knows you're an axe murderer.

If she didn't want to meet people from the internet she wouldn't be listed on an internet single's website

[Mish]

So "cutting her off" isn't the way to go.. You just have to stop trying to meet up.. stop trying to do anything..

Thanks for advice Scorp. It sounds good what you wrote. Frankly I just can't be bothered doing all of that. We have a routine, we chat, we flirt, I initiated a lot of things but I don't think I should be in the position to continue all that if I'm not seeing that this is going somewhere. She's on a single's site, let's not pretend she doesn't know what she's there for. I've met a lot of people from online and I pretty much know what leads where. If she's acting like this now I don't want to be a constant initiator. As nice as she is and even though I was starting to like her a bit, there are so many other girls I would rather spend my time on.

I don't want to manipulate her into anything , I don't want to persuade her. If she thinks it's too much to ask to meet up face to face for a friendly chat with no expecations and if it's taking this long imagine how long it would take for the second or third date.

Is my logic missing something here?

[misombra]

yes, it's no big deal if she doesn't want to meet you. it's entirely her choice. if you want to meet up for coffee with an internet person then find somebody who is willing.

[GrkScorp]

She's on a single's site, let's not pretend she doesn't know what she's there for. I've met a lot of people from online and I pretty much know what leads where. If she's acting like this now I don't want to be a constant initiator. As nice as she is and even though I was starting to like her a bit, there are so many other girls I would rather spend my time on.

I don't want to manipulate her into anything , I don't want to persuade her. If she thinks it's too much to ask to meet up face to face for a friendly chat with no expecations and if it's taking this long imagine how long it would take for the second or third date.

Is my logic missing something here?

Nope.. sounds good Seriously.. I agree with you Mish..

She's on a single's site.. her act is off.. the game is up.. and she's talking to you on the phone.. "hello! common!"

She just got cold feet, and you're right.. many more in line.. and since that's the case.. let this one go easy & nicely..

But, this is the type of behavior you beg for when you go to single's sites.. Think about it.. why would a girl go to a single's site to begin with.. what other conditions in her life must be the case in order to motivate her to go to such a site?

She jumped half-way into meeting you.. then somewhere within your phone conversation.. she changed her mind.. she flaked.. not just on you.. but on herself..

I'll tell you why.. because i've done the same thing.. (simply not interested enough).. There was some interest, but not enough to motivate me to drive 6 hours from Tampa through the Everglades to reach Ft. Lauderdale just to meet up in person.. Yeah, wouldn't exactly risk being eaten alive by a panther just to talk to her in person.. On my part, I wasn't happy with the lack of substance to her.. but in reality.. there was just very little connection, it would have been a sex-only thing.. so there was no point.. I flaked.. not just on her, but on myself! I was already in Florida! I was just steps away (hey, it was only a couple of inches on the map).. and that's what happened with her Mish.. she wanted to meet you, that's why she started talking to you.. She's not stupid.. she knows she's on a single's site.. she felt that thrill and sensation go through her body when you called her for the first time.. But she just didn't feel there was enough there.. that's all..

She didn't go to her friend and say.. "omg, we talked yesterday, he's so much fun to talk to, we were talking about ____.. so interesting right? Haha! I have to tell you.. wait.. and then he was telling me about ____.. and then _____.. haha! I know right! A guy with a sense of humor.. omg, did I show you what he looks like, he has a picture right up here.. you have to see him! Look.. I know right!" (her friend: so? are you guys going to meet up or what?)

That didn't quite happen.. and it's not really HER fault.. I mean.. she'll find reasons to want to love you.. but you have to give her strong enough reasons to want to fall in love with you, first..

But the frustration you're feeling Mish, is because you know how to find strong enough reasons for her to love you.. and you know how to project them indirectly.. you know.. you're beyond the likes of a single's site.. so maybe she was intimidated, maybe she didn't believe you were real, but more likely the case, there was just very little connection, and bad two-way communication.. making it impossible to do the things you know how to do.. Anyone would be frustrated in such a case.. and the best thing to do, is really just to let it go.. who wants to be in a relationship with little connection and bad communication? At this phase in life, nobody..

Best,

GrkScorp

[bluesummer]

I've met a lot of people online and having been part of that 'world' for awhile, I can tell you there's an unspoken rule about meeting up. If, after at least three lengthy conversations, the other person isn't willing to meet up for something non-committal like coffee or a drink, move on. Because really, meeting in a public place briefly is NOT a big deal, you can leave when you want. Also Mish, really......what do 'trust issues' have to do with meeting up for coffee??? This girl sounds like she has a lot deeper issues than that.

The point of meeting people on these sites is not months and months of talking. What's the point, if you meet up and there's no chemistry when you're face to face? That's where the three-convo rule comes in. May as well just get right down to it and make sure there is chemistry beyond typed text.....otherwise you're wasting your time.

[DoesntMatter]

Hey mish, I'll meet up with you for a cup of coffee

[GrkScorp]

Hey mish, I'll meet up with you for a cup of coffee

So will I, as long as you pick out a cafe' with some cute Aussie girls

[bluesummer]

So will I, if you promise to bring some cute Aussie guys. The accent just slays me.

Oh wait, YOU are a cute Aussie guy. Well never mind then, just bring your good old self!

[Mish]

Alright that does it.

DM, Scorp, Blue and Indi (I know you've been thinking that too). We're meeting up for coffee next weekend. Who needs this broad when I got the four of you