How would you react when a stranger hits on you?

[vashti]

I married a social geek, DM. Also, I will let you date my daughter (when she is 35). She's a beautiful girl, and she loves geeks. She feels awkward around the flashy kids too, so see? It happens to girls, too.

BTW - if you date my daughter, keep your hands to yourself or I will hunt you down and kill you.

[DoesntMatter]

BTW - if you date my daughter, keep your hands to yourself or I will hunt you down and kill you.

Maybe you can "punish" me in some erotic fashion

[Cloe]

Meh, unless he is asking what my sign is, I try to be a little forgiving. It must suck to have to be the one doing the approach, and there really isn't much to say that hasn't been said before.

Next time, Cloe - do what indi said. Ask what brand he has used before or if he knows who to ask about it. If he is interested, he might offer to contact someone on your behalf, and the he can call you.

hey, no one's answering my question except for this one. u know, my spontaneous thought was that he prob was doing some product survey for asking me this question.. i must be nuts. yeh.. asking him wat brand he uses seems the most natural response.. its just not me to do that. Its not abt playing hard or wat.. dun get me wrong guys.

The truth is both guys AND girls will get the sweaty palms when approch by strangers. Its a guessing game. Am I getting too complicated?

[Lipp]

Had an Iranian roommate a few weeks back who said that because clubs and bars were banned back there the common way for guys to pick up girls was in everyday life, winking at them in supermarkets and such.

Just as some random info.

[GrkScorp]

I can't stand when bitches make these outrageous remarks that guys are automatically gutless because they don't approach women.

DM.., sometimes.., it's not what they genuinely believe.., but what they want you to think that they believe.. (think about that)

And it's more important to just understand.., that statements like that.., are nothing more than an attempt to make you feel a certain way.., (guilty.., bad.., etc) so that you can conform to satisfying their need..

Need? Yes.., namely.., their desire to feel wanted.., needed.., desired.., sexy.., hot.., powerful.., in control.., chased.., special..

It's important for a woman (or girl) to feel all these things.., and yes.., i'll admit.., me and every other guy.., it's annoying sometimes.., because unless you train your eye.., rather.., before you train your eye.., you will come across some women who don't just feel "sexy.., hot.., desired.., powerful.., feminine.., wanted.., blah blah blah".., but they actually suffer from an "ego-complex".., and take the extra step.. (it's the extra step that you find annoying.., not the idea of making her feel good about herself)

An "ego-complex" comes in many forms.., my favorite was back when my Broker was trying to explain negotiation models to me.., "when you walk inside the room.., what do you think i'm thinking about?".., (Me: I don't know.., you could be thinking about anything.., my shoes.., what i'm wearing.., if I opened up the door too fast.., etc).., "well.., i'm actually thinking about how i'd rather be having some ice cream right now.., than explaining how the human ego works.., but hopefully you're already learning.., and I can go an enjoy myself some ice cream"..

Similarly.., when your eye is still untrained.., you'll run across many girls.., who will make an extra mental jump.., and go crazy with this feeling.., "remember.., power corrupts.., absolute power corrupts absolutely".., (if she's not interested.., she can simply tell you right away.., without wasting any time.., "i'm not interested".., but assuming she IS interested.., you may find her doing any of the following)

- Blowing you off.., (yes.., despite the fact that she was interested in you.., there are women who will blow you off.., act as if your conversation was cheesy.., as if you did something "below their standards" and that "they rejected you".., because it's easier for them to digest than risking "you rejecting them")
- Being coy or reserved.., (are they really coy or reserved? unlikely.., but they don't get showered with attention often.., although they would all like to pretend that they do.., but when they do get this kind of attention.., they love it.., so you better believe that the more you make her feel powerful.., the more she will want you to keep doing what you're doing to make her feel that way.., she has no incentive to think of what else to say.., she expects you to keep it going.., and if you don't.., don't for a second think that she'll think to herself.., "damn.., why couldn't I think of anything else to say?".., it's much easier for her to think.., "I guess he was just shy.., he was pretty boring.., didn't know how to carry on a conversation.., by himself.., he must not talk to the wall much")
- Testing.., (in short.., seeing what she can get you to do.., or how far she can push you.., because she has mistaken your generous gesture of approaching her.., to somehow imply that you have empowered her in some way.., and now she feels that she is "in control".., when in reality.., there's no such thing as "who is in control".., you were not approaching because you're looking for a woman to dominate.., or because you're looking for a woman to dominate you "unless you're into that kind of S&M stuff".., but you were approaching because you wanted to know who she is.., what she's about.., and if you and her can have mutual respect for each other.., and be in a relationship together)

Now.., I don't want to imply or have you think that.., "all women are egotistical b*tches who crave attention and want to feel special" but I will say.., that it's important for her to feel feminine.., chased.., desired.., wanted.., and sexually powerful.., as if.., to some degree.., you're approaching her because she's sexually attractive.. (in fact.., if you really want to laugh.., start approaching women who you think are cute.., but not sexually attractive.., and notice the look on their face.., sort of like.., "why are you approaching me? nobody ever approaches me! are you interested in my friend? are you gay? what's the deal? are you for real? am I dreaming?").., it's flattering for her.., it makes her feel great about herself.., and there's no reason for you to not want to give her that feeling..

(But GrkScorp.., aren't you of the school of thought that believes.., DON'T give her that feeling?)

No.. i'm of the school of thought that believes.., "if she's not worth that feeling.., fcuk her.., but if she's worth that feeling.., then I will feel more that great to give it to her".., so.., if it makes it any easier.., pretend you're a woman.., that's right..

You meet a guy who you think is cute.., do you have sex with him right away? The question is not if you "want" to have sex with him right away.., just "if" you do have sex with him right away.., and the answer is "no".., maybe you really want to.., or maybe you really like him.., and that's what you want to do.., or maybe you just want to see him happy.., but unless you know him.., you have no reason to.., the mentality reads.., "unless he's worth it.., fcuk him!"

So.., now.., back to being a guy.., do you really "want" to approach a woman? ask for her number? compliment her? ask her out on a date? pay for the whole date as if you're the only one who enjoyed it? get her stuff? do stuff for her? No.., in fact.., it makes you feel used and humiliated.., desperate and like some loser.., and in fact.., you feel that way.., because you're probably not doing it for someone you have strong feelings and complete trust for.., because if that was the person you were doing those things for.., you would "want" to do them naturally.., and enjoy doing them.., you would get pleasure from doing them..

The initial approach is tricky.., because.., you honestly don't have feelings for her yet.., and you don't even know if you will.., all you know is that she's not ugly.., and that she has potential.., but that's about it.., yet here you are.., having to place yourself in a vulnerable position.., where she can rip you apart just to feel good about herself.., only so that you can try and see if you really like her..

Any issue with approaching.., is due to an untrained eye.., and the best way to fix that.., is just to jump head on in and expose yourself to the risk of being ripped and having your feelings shred by the more sensitive of the two sexes.. do that a couple of times.., and your eye will naturally train itself.., not so that it can avoid that situation.., but to filter out situations like that taking place for the wrong reasons.., but it has to develop some mental models first.., and unless you dive into those situations a couple of times.., it has no models to work with.., it has no idea what to expect.., so it's afraid.., of the unknown..

But again.., beyond the approach.., there are plenty of 10's out there.., and skimpier outfits than the ones she's wearing.., why do you feel that she's worth it? who is she? what is she doing with her life? what kind of character is she? how does she think? how does she make you feel? why her? As you start answering those questions for yourself.., you'll notice your urge to make her happy.., and that's because.., now.., she actually matters to you..

Ethical & Moral hierarchy:

(use sex to get him to do & get things for me.., and do & get things for him.., and not be a pain in the ass.., so that he can stay in a relationship with me and not leave me or so that he will marry me) < (have sex together because we both enjoy it.., it's important for us.., and do & get him things because it makes him happy.., and I like knowing that I make him happy.., and seeing him happy because of me)

(do & get things for her.., say things to her.., just to have sex) < (be a great guy so that she doesn't leave me) < (do things for her.., have sex with her.., give her everything I can.., not because I want anything back.., but because it makes her happy.., and I like knowing that I make her happy.., and seeing her happy because of me)

Yes.., agreed.., it can be hours.., days.., or even weeks until you feel that way for someone else.., that all depends on if they're totally wrong for you (something you can tell within minutes of talking).., or any trust issues you may have towards people in general.., but the more you feel that way.., the more you'll find the urge to make them happy.., and yes.., the approach is tricky.., because in the back of your mind.., you're thinking.., "fcuk her! i'm not going up there and giving her ego an orgasm".., but if you don't.., you'll never get the urge to do much more with that person anyway..

Learn to ignore the comments of some women who want you to feel or think a certain way.., so that you can act a certain way.., don't get emotional over them.., just take them for what they are.., meaningless.., and ignore them.., no reason to look any deeper into them than what they're worth.. just attempts to get you to feel bad.., so that you can give the next girl you meet tons of attention.., but nevertheless.., do make that token gesture.., it really is meaningless and no big deal.., "you're not ugly.., so I wanted to come and talk to you and see what you're all about.., if you're someone i'd ever consider dating".., (don't say that to her!)

Best,

GrkScorp

[1averagejoe]

I learned something today, that made a lot of sense...thanks GrkScorp.

[creamandsugar]

Well here's a million dollar adwise for you guys:

It is 77% successful and can be used whenever and is all made by me

(first NOTE: all girls get attached by men at the nightlife.. so, skip it, leave the girls alone and just have fun with the friends

instead.... attach them at noon at the supermarket or in the pharmacy, they don't expect that and find it romantic situation like in the movies - girls live for the movie drama)

1. The Christmas Card: Wind up to the target (the girl) you spot and have your phonenumber on a piece of paper folded.
Say to her "hi... I´m so sorry I didn't send you any Christmas greeting card last year so I'm gonna make it up to you now and pass her the note and leave... 70% change you get text within 24 hrs.

2. Would you stab me? ... this way is all about being funny...wind up to any girl and say "hi.. I was wondering.... would you stab me with a knife in the back if I would ask you on a date... I really wanna see Indiana Jones and I see you exactly that Indiana Jones type of girl ?

(give her a moment to laugh a little)

If she say no than say: you suppose to say "yes I am"

than say something like: "my grandma promised me to come with me but since she start dating my best friend than see never have the time"

(she probably laugh more) ... than just take it from there but now be more serious - otherwise she think you are one joke!

Trick is: never get theyre number - let them have yours. If they are interrested they call/text you. if not then you save your time and find another target.

3. Straight forward - similar to nr.2 just less jokes, but be original.

Wind up to any girl and say: "hey, I just noticed you and I was just thinking if you would go to the movies with me.

You can add: I'll pay the popcorn too and maybe I´ll show you my stamp collection... (she laugh and see you funny so more changes)

(just correct that you are joking on the stamp collection)

Try analizing the girl a little while you talk to her so you know how much humor to poor into it.... if this is a very jolly girl then

you can say while writing her phonenumber or add the number to cantacts, you could say "oh thanks so much... your the 18th girl today I ask and finally you're the first to accept my date-proposal".... (say you're joking afterwards)


so... there are many ways and these are much more successful then find a girl on a bar and say "hey, you come here often"

I did this for a long time and there was always some new girl in my bed

[Cain]

Not to be rude, but the jokes in your pickup lines were absolutely horrible. Any girl that would fall for that has the IQ of a rock.

*pause for laughter*

[vashti]

Had an Iranian roommate a few weeks back who said that because clubs and bars were banned back there the common way for guys to pick up girls was in everyday life, winking at them in supermarkets and such.

I went to a party last weekend, and a Jordanian guy (married, with wife sitting across the room) openly proposed a "discrete arrangement" with me.

Those middle-eastern guys can be very forward.

[lesa]

Those middle-eastern guys can be very forward.

Indeed...can be quite open in what they want from you

[IndiReloaded]

I went to a party last weekend, and a Jordanian guy (married, with wife sitting across the room) openly proposed a "discrete arrangement" with me.

Those middle-eastern guys can be very forward.

LOL, you should have said something like "Sorry, but all my American Whore appointments are booked for the next several months."

I told you the story about the ass at the party who wouldn't shake my hand b/c he 'might be tempted'. That was right in front of his wife, in MY home. What a turd. Same part of the world, btw.

[thuthy]

With the line he used that made it hard on your behalf to keep the conversation going. But i have had guys pick me up in public who were complete strangers and i have done the same to the guys, but it was easier as there was some eye contact/flirting etc before saying anything to each other.

I walked into a unisex clothes shop once and this really hot guy was checking me out and i was checking him out as well lol

He walked out of the shop with his mates and then came straight back in lol and took his cell phone out of his pocket and i did the same and we exchanged phone numbers without saying a word apart from the numbers to our ph number. lol

[lesa]

With the line he used that made it hard on your behalf to keep the conversation going. But i have had guys pick me up in public who were complete strangers and i have done the same to the guys, but it was easier as there was some eye contact/flirting etc before saying anything to each other.

I walked into a unisex clothes shop once and this really hot guy was checking me out and i was checking him out as well lol

He walked out of the shop with his mates and then came straight back in lol and took his cell phone out of his pocket and i did the same and we exchanged phone numbers without saying a word apart from the numbers to our ph number. lol

Nice flirting thuthy. I like that one.