A little help needed

[1averagejoe]

So you staying strong mamabird?

Have you thought about joining a gym or going out running/working out? I mean breakups are great motivation to make yourself stronger, and get in better shape. Or at least I felt that way.

[inoccence]

maybe in losing this untrustworthy, ungrateful, manipulative oh and fake man, you'll find that you love yourself soo much more.
Another thing i don't get is... how can someone be in love ,when you aren't sure who it really is your loving?

[mamabird]

If you call not calling him or texting him staying strong,then yes I am. Last night was very tough though once I laid down and tried to go to sleep.My mind wouldn't stop thinking about him,by the end it did turn into thoughts on how to get even with him though.I know it will get better,but I think there will always be some pain from realizing how stupid I was to stay for 3 yrs and being in love with someone who was nothing more then a lie.Well the tears are starting and I haven't let myself cry over this yet, so I better go find something to do.Thank you once again for your support,I really do need it and appreciate it!!!!!

[shh!]

The crying might do you some good, though. It is right for you to grieve, so long as you don't get stuck there.

[Junket]

Yeah, Bird, f*ck'em up.

[1averagejoe]

Seeking revenge never turns out good. Don't, I know from experience, it got me in deep shit that I had to work to get out of.

There's no reason to hold back the tears right now, sometimes it's good. You're still grieving a bit and crying is a great way to let those emotions out. This is a disgusting analogy, but it's like feeling sick to your stomach, once you throw up, you usually feel better after.

Crying is bad when you don't get over things and it goes on and on for way too long. So get yourself a gallon of ice cream and just let it out. I don't know what it is about ice cream, but it always make me feel better. And get rid of everything that he gave you or reminds you of him.

[misombra]

misombra - your dogs are adorable,what is their other half?

irish wolfhound.

we call them irish saints.

[mamabird]

The only revenge I would ever to try to get would be to let the girl I know he was talking to (and I'm sure is pursuing now) exactly when we broke it off,I'm sure he told her well before it really was.And if I ever did anything else it would be so it couldn't be traced back to me,I can be a clever b*tch if I want

I can't get rid of everything that he gave me or reminds me off him.I can the little momentos,but there are somethings he bought I can't afford to replace right now.

I haven't been able to cry like I should for years.My ex husband saw it as a weakness(even in woman) and would get after me if I did,so I learned to suck it up and never let it get passed the lump in my throat and the tingle in my eye.I guess part of me also thinks I shouldn't cry because it's my own fault,I'm the one that let him keeping lying to me over and over.

Thank you all for sticking with me,you truly are my strength right now.When I'm home and feeling like sh*t I come in and reread everything and it makes me stick to my guns.

misombra- I would have guessed Irish Wolfhounds.They truly are adorable!!!

[vashti]

The crying may come later. Right now, you may be going through some level of shock and denial. Don't worry about it, in any case. We all grieve differently.

BTW - I like your screen name. It makes me want to sit on your lap with my blankie... warm and cozy!

[mamabird]

BTW - I like your screen name. It makes me want to sit on your lap with my blankie... warm and cozy!

That made me and even laugh!!! But it's really more like I have a bird hanging from my hair and screaming,the warm and cozy part comes after the birds are in bed and the Saints and I watch tv.

[vashti]

I used to have a bird. Scary little thing - I let it out of its cage once for some exercise, despite the fact that I am kinda scared of birds, and the dumb thing dive-bombed my head! I ended up giving him to a guy I was dating.

[mamabird]

Well it's been a week since I have talked to him,I miss him sooo much. I have wanted to text him all day and tell him " Happy 1 week of no talking,I'm sure it was easier for you then me" ,but I haven't. I miss him so much,today I heard a song that made me think of him sexually and oh did I want to have sex with him,even it if it was only phone sex I still love him and I feel like I have lived a lie for 3 yrs and the love was only one sided because of all of his lies. It also makes me think he never loved me because he hasn't even tried to call me,since I told him not too anymore.I know I told him not too,but I thought if he really ever loved me he would try.I thought if I ever mattered he wouldn't be able to move on so easy.I'm so messed up over this today and just had to get some of it out.Now I better go feed the birds,because I can't text him or call him while I'm doing that.

[Junket]

Keep in mind he also may be banking on the idea that you'll call him first. Because, in that case, he'll really prove his power over you.

[Gigabitch]

You're encouraging his behavior.

Agreed. Stop focusing on him and his bullshit. Find something else, anything else to do for a while.

Keep in mind he also may be banking on the idea that you'll call him first. Because, in that case, he'll really prove his power over you.

This is some damned good advice. Please read it ten times.

[mamabird]

Well he does have the power over me,I can't help it I'm just a weak person I guess and don't know how to let him go emotionally.I haven't gave in and called him,but I can't stop thinking about him and how much I miss him.I guess I figure if I'm going to be in pain I might as well be in pain with him versus alone.It doesn't matter he has moved on and I'm left alone knowing my life has been nothing more then a lie the last 3 yrs and he never loved me at all.Sorry this will be my last post,I don't want to become a pain in the a** here.Thanks for all your help,I will continue to read and think about your posts.