what is going on?! no feelings with sex?

[Dasein]

it seems to me that he was a lot warmer to you before the whole ultimatum issue. you need to have a heart to heart to him. blame the ultimatum on a female issue. say that you were overreacting because you were PMSing, and tell him that you want things to be as they were. try to come out of it in the least threatening way, any guy would run from it.

what is his and your background? ages?

Great! Another lie to blame PMS....

[Junket]

Great! Another lie to blame PMS....

Sounds like somebody's PMSing...

[Dasein]

Sounds like somebody's PMSing...

No not at all. I'm always a bitch

Btw Why do women call it PMS?

Because mad cow disease was already taken!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Well, PMS was a discussion in another thread, but I just wanted to say I become a whole different person on my period seriously. I dont use it as an excuse, but it does change my emotions and I begin to wonder wtf is wrong with me.

[Dasein]

Well, PMS was a discussion in another thread, but I just wanted to say I become a whole different person on my period seriously. I dont use it as an excuse, but it does change my emotions and I begin to wonder wtf is wrong with me.

That was my point Nisha. Women who genuinely suffer from this don't need other woman to use it as an excuse..that is so wrong.

[carl1222]

Wait a freaking minute here ... you've been together for ONLY 2 months ... he says you're important to him and follows up by treating you like you're important. He is obviously attracted to you physically yet is also a tender lover ... and you're upset because he hasn't said "I love you" yet and lost his arousal because you hinted at a level of commitment he (quite rightly) wasn't prepared to make at such an early stage (I'm sure he understood the meaning behind your comment)?

How does that make him only interested in sex and not a relationship?

Which would you prefer? A man who says "I love you" but really doesn't yet?

Or a man who acts like he loves you, but realizes that that's a very serious commitment to make so early in your relationship?

[carl1222]

thanks, good advice, ouch, I was afraid it would come to that..
I was thinking about it, and then I thought that it sounded like blackmail, "if you don't talk about love, you won't get any of THAT" -- but what is a woman to do? ??

PS Heil Frasbee

It sounds like blackmail ... because it is.

Carl.

[Junket]

She totally "PS Heil Frasbee"-ed me!

[carl1222]

She totally "PS Heil Frasbee"-ed me!

I don't know if she's complimenting you, Frasbee or calling you a Nazi.

Carl.

[vashti]

Well, PMS was a discussion in another thread, but I just wanted to say I become a whole different person on my period seriously. I dont use it as an excuse, but it does change my emotions and I begin to wonder wtf is wrong with me.

My daughter is taking a round of progesterone (female hormone) and she has turned into a psycho nut job. She even asked me what the hell is wrong with her.

[lesa]

She was together for ONLY 2 months? Oops, I missed that or forgot. Oh, well nevermind my comments.

*goes back to reread*

But guys it's not really blackmail (depending on why, etc etc) if she feels the relationship is not at a mutual level. She has every right to not have sex if she feels the relationship is not progressing as she desired in her time frame (mentally). You simply end the relationship without much fuss. Just like men do when they feel everything is not working as they desire. There is no contract (to this type of relationship). She wants to get to that level of commitment (official serious bf/gf with a potential future)

If I date and started a relationship recently, I would be very afraid if he starts talking about marriage, children, moving in together, etc. I never agreed to date him past this very moment. There is no commitment of any kind. And here is the conflict: He is still in this stage (but is concern that she is having "the talk" and love and commitment). She wants to move on to the official serious gf/bf stage (I think).

[BillyJean]

hello, i had to log off. "heil Frasbee" is written at the bottom of Frasbee's posts, so i heiled (no nazism involved) ;-)
All this was very helpful, i guess the only thing is to swallow back all pressures from my side and wait a little bit more to see what happens. If he has indeed commitment phobia, or he is just not that much into me, or if it is just the beginning of something beautiful (I have my doubts).

[BillyJean]

all right, now the cards are down.. even without "I love you", a simple " i miss you" or "I wish you were here for CHristmas/New Years Eve".. instead, I called and I heard: 1) that it was better not to communicate by phone, because it was easy to misunderstand things (this after his icy phone calls) and 2) today, December 19th, he said "Merry Christmas". So I am doing what he wants me to do: delete his phone number and email address, and never answer again. sorry to bother for such an unimportant matter, i was very much mistaken, perhaps in two months i will rant in another discussion about how can i survive in the same surroundings, with him f****ing everything that moves... thank you so much everybody.

[lesa]

Is he emotionally unavailable? Meaning, is he tied to something or someone else? Is he married?

[BillyJean]

sure he is emotionally unavailable, he is an a*******le ;-) i don't think he has anybody, he was with somebody in a long distance relationship until august, cheated on her with MY FLATMATE (just a temporary acquaintance for me hopefully) then left the long distance relationship in august and was ready to make his move on me in september. He even confessed having a problem with commitment! and not having much experience in relationships.
It is amazing how reality is always there, if one has the courage to look at it.