Date a "nice guy"?

[Lipp]

Why make it complicated?

"Hey, thanks for sending me your number, I'm free to join you for the game, when and where do we meet up?"

But I really don't get why, as shown in this thread, women almost desperately crave to be asked out rather than asking out. What's the big difference? Do you long for the feeling that you're wanted or something? And in either way, even if you established contact he's the one who had an event organized, so what's the big deal?

...

Women...

[lovesjoyajm]

Why make it complicated?

"Hey, thanks for sending me your number, I'm free to join you for the game, when and where do we meet up?"

But I really don't get why, as shown in this thread, women almost desperately crave to be asked out rather than asking out. What's the big difference? Do you long for the feeling that you're wanted or something? And in either way, even if you established contact he's the one who had an event organized, so what's the big deal?

...

Women...

Ok, I know what you mean. And I REALLY hate that I feel any need to play these sort of games. But I think the reason that is in my experience, if I express interest to a guy, he'll often show interest back because he wants to GET LAID. As one guy told me in a candid conversation, waaaay beyond the point where I could've taken my heart back without too much damage, "I saw an opportunity and I took it." I guess I don't have the feeling that guys pursue girls to get laid, they pursue girls to date and f*** [over] the "easy" (desperate/pursuing) ones. ... am I right?

Women are way pickier than men. I need to be sure he's interested enough in ME personally to make it worth my while, because I'm told there's guys that actually fall in love with/crush on/pine over girls!

--------------

As far as this guy, the problem is, we didn't have specific plans, just that we would "hang out in the park sometime and grill" and "watch football in the Wilde bar".

What I want to do is send him a text that playfully tells him "here's my number, feel free to use it."

[vashti]

What's the big difference? Do you long for the feeling that you're wanted or something?

Nah - it's a litmus test. I've always wanted him to have bigger balls than me.

[Indignant]

haven't we already proved that there's no such thing as love?

[lovesjoyajm]

So, as it turns out, Vashti was right as usual and I did end up seeing him today - at an acquaintance's birthday brunch (an acquaintance, mind you, who has never contacted me before, we just see each other at various events.) Had a nice time, talked, took the train together since we live close.

I practiced being "the girl" - haha. He said we should hang out soon and I said "sure, just give me a call."
Oh, and the birthday friend is also having more festivities tonight - drinking at her place, I think. But when he asked if I was going, I said no because I was already invited to another girl's going-away-party at a bar - someone I barely know. I wasn't even invited by girl herself. The birthday would be a lot more fun - it's other Amis And I would see him again, but maybe I should be a little less available.

Anyway, all this is me learning how to date, because not only am I sort of lukewarm about the guy and completely unsure if he's interested in me, he wants to stay in Germany and I'm leaving in 3 months.

Now I just need to learn how to flirt properly.

[Kromat]

I think that you seem disappointed all the time, so try to give these
guys a chance, and I think in the long run, you'll see that it's worth it.

Just because someone might be physically attractive, doesn't mean
that he'll treat you right, but just want the attention that he gets
from his peers or other women making them jealous.

[lovesjoyajm]

Sooo I was wondering why I got along with this guy so well, when I never seem to have anything in common with guys my age... then I found out he's 27. No wonder.


I saw him again yesterday at this birthday, then 4 of us went out for a drink and he and I took the train back together. A few minutes before I got home he texted me with a little joke and then "good night, sleep well."

He's not very physical - no hugs or anything, which I'm fine with, I just hope he doesn't have a girlfriend or something. He did mention having had a girlfriend a few years ago so at least he's not gay!

Hopefully I'll hear from him soon and we can go out on an actual date. I don't like this casual running-into-each-other thing so much. It confuses me.

[vashti]

So, as it turns out, Vashti was right as usual and I did end up seeing him today - at an acquaintance's birthday brunch (an acquaintance, mind you, who has never contacted me before, we just see each other at various events.) Had a nice time, talked, took the train together since we live close.

I practiced being "the girl" - haha. He said we should hang out soon and I said "sure, just give me a call."

Perfect! I hope you gave him your number... if he likes you, he will call, but he may wait a few days. When he does, and if he wants to go out, be sure to clarify if this is a date.


Now I just need to learn how to flirt properly. [/QUOTE]


[QUOTE=lovesjoyajm;438062] Flirting is nothing more than making the other person feel good about themselves. Just try to act as though you are hosting a party, and treat him as you would your favorite guest. Smile a lot, and look him in the eyes.

How old are you again? 27 doesn't seem to old for you...

[Vinager]

Nice guys finish last.

[Lipp]

Nice guys finish last.

Bad guys finish with a fist in their face.

[lovesjoyajm]

Perfect! I hope you gave him your number... if he likes you, he will call, but he may wait a few days. When he does, and if he wants to go out, be sure to clarify if this is a date.

Flirting is nothing more than making the other person feel good about themselves. Just try to act as though you are hosting a party, and treat him as you would your favorite guest. Smile a lot, and look him in the eyes.

How old are you again? 27 doesn't seem to old for you...

Not "too old" - just not my age. I'm 23, 27 is about average age for my interests as far as my history goes. I don't know if I can just sense that a guy is older and I'm more attracted to him because I have some sort of mental block about guys my age, or if they really do just hit a point (25?) where the stupid, awkward, difficult-to-deal-with immaturity finally fades and they become actual people.

Oh man, what do you mean, clarify if it's a date? "So - is this a date?" What if he says no??

[vashti]

Not "too old" - just not my age. I'm 23, 27 is about average age for my interests as far as my history goes. I don't know if I can just sense that a guy is older and I'm more attracted to him because I have some sort of mental block about guys my age, or if they really do just hit a point (25?) where the stupid, awkward, difficult-to-deal-with immaturity finally fades and they become actual people.

Oh man, what do you mean, clarify if it's a date? "So - is this a date?" What if he says no??

Then say something like "ok, good. I can skip shaving my legs" or something like that, and then laugh.

[lovesjoyajm]

Anyway, he's gotta call first. And I'm leaving on Sunday for Ireland for 2 weeks so it might not pan out for quite awhile.

[Lipp]

Not "too old" - just not my age. I'm 23, 27 is about average age formy interests as far as my history goes. I don't know if I can just sense that a guy is older and I'm more attracted to him because I have some sort of mental block about guys my age, or if they really do just hit a point (25?) where the stupid, awkward, difficult-to-deal-with immaturity finally fades and they become actual people.

Noooes! We have to counter it!
Like younger guys, like younger guys!

[lovesjoyajm]

Noooes! We have to counter it!
Like younger guys, like younger guys!

Haha, that's an amazing smiley.
I wish I could like younger guys, statistically I'm already going to outlive my husband - I don't want to give him a 4+ year head start.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since the text on Saturday night.