Ask Me Anything About Guys

[ecojeanne]

whats too soon? whats good timing? it's sound very complicated to me. i would consider a month long enough to wait to know if the guy is good enough to sleep with but i don't think there should be any rules as such, the more time spent together then the more one knows the guy better, i never really thought about this in regard to pharma guy, i wonder did he feel insecure then? we had about 4-5 dates at the stage we slept together, is that too soon?

[Charlie Boy II]

As I rule of thumb I like it if a girl makes me wait at a month. Even if I'm pushing for it before then. It makes me respect her more.

I know it's a double standard. So what? Men and women are different.

[lesa]

Just a month huh? I must be loved .

[NeoSeminole]

shree367 says:

"So me and my bofriend have been together 2 1/2 weve broken up a few times.. but still were friends and close.. everything has been perfect between us other then the fact that he doesnt want to be intament with me.. we used to be but now its i=like doesnt even wanna kiss me or anything.. ive told him many of times that it hurts me and hes given me every excuse in the book.. im not asking we bang every second of everyday.. just maybe we could make out once in a while.. its like everytime we kiss or something he has to say "oh im soo tired" or "my sstomach hurts" so ill get the hint 'were not having sex or whatever'.. he works hard, and i understand he doesnt have a lot of energy when he gets home, which is fine, but on the weekends i expect something! it really breaks my heart.. i knw hes not cheating and i know he really does care about me, because he always makes me things at work and tells me he loves me, and stuff, and i sooo appriciate it.. i just dont understand how at 20 years old he has NO sex drive at all.
some one give me advice on what i should do..and why the hell this is happening."

if you know for a fact that your bf is not interested in any other girl, then it would seem he either doesn't find you attractive anymore or has very low libido. I can't really give you any advice other than talk to your bf since I don't know what's going through his mind.

[starbuck]

whats too soon? whats good timing? it's sound very complicated to me. i would consider a month long enough to wait to know if the guy is good enough to sleep with but i don't think there should be any rules as such, the more time spent together then the more one knows the guy better, i never really thought about this in regard to pharma guy, i wonder did he feel insecure then? we had about 4-5 dates at the stage we slept together, is that too soon?

I don't think it's too soon. You can only kiss and neck for so long you know?

Besides, you became uninterested in him, not the other way around. If you waited a month, I doubt he would have become more exciting to you.

[NeoSeminole]

ecojeanne says:

"whats too soon? whats good timing? it's sound very complicated to me. i would consider a month long enough to wait to know if the guy is good enough to sleep with but i don't think there should be any rules as such, the more time spent together then the more one knows the guy better, i never really thought about this in regard to pharma guy, i wonder did he feel insecure then? we had about 4-5 dates at the stage we slept together, is that too soon?"

there is no formula to determine how long to wait for sex. If you have chemistry with a person and you both want it, then go with what feels natural. I don't understand why people try to suppress their human nature.

[NeoSeminole]

Charlie Boy II says:

"As I rule of thumb I like it if a girl makes me wait at a month. Even if I'm pushing for it before then. It makes me respect her more.

I know it's a double standard. So what? Men and women are different."

you never answered my questions.

[lesa]

If you waited a month, I doubt he would have become more exciting to you.

I don't know. I became more interested in a guy who I once saw as just plain ordinary. In an instance he became very attractive to me. I call him very intriguing.

[lesa]

there is no formula to determine how long to wait for sex. If you have chemistry with a person and you both want it, then go with what feels natural. I don't understand why people try to suppress their human nature.

I agree, but sometimes you have to help the insecure people out. There are more insecure people in this world than very secure. However, if they are extremely insecure I would not date them. That's asking for issues in the relationship.

EDIT: Waiting also shows you a little about their willpower. Can they control themselves? That's a good thing to know and may show a potential for long term. So, in the other person's eye, I have to agree that a person who waits may appear more valuable. Again that may go back to security. It's just how the world works. ;-).

[misombra]

As I rule of thumb I like it if a girl makes me wait at a month. Even if I'm pushing for it before then. It makes me respect her more.

I know it's a double standard. So what? Men and women are different.

see post #9.

[vashti]

I don't see why a guy who isn't interested in keeping a girl who has sex too easily is considered "insecure". Like Lesa, I think it has more to do with him respecting her ability to control herself, or minimally, it demonstrates that she isn't trivial about who she sleeps with; that she has at least SOME standards. You can't know a person well enough after a date or two to know that they are worth risking pregnancy or STDs over.

And yes, it's a double standard. Here's another one: women can't stand wimpy men, but it's tolerable for a woman to be that way. Life isn't fair. :shrug:

[misombra]

it's okay for a woman to be weak, but not weak enough to keep somebody out of her drawers for a month.

lol it sounds silly.

mish just said a couple weeks ago that men can "smell" a woman that will give it up right away. i mean, can't you just tell? or you have to put your penis inside of her to find out? wtf?

[vashti]

mish just said a couple weeks ago that men can "smell" a woman that will give it up right away.

Eewwww!

I don't know about smell, but you can damn sure tell by looking at them most of the time, no?

I think that guys will still go out with skanky girls (knowing they are skanks) because they still want sex. They just don't want to KEEP the skanks.

[misombra]

well i can see that.

i think a deal breaker for me would be a guy who fuks around with ho's. and i had an alcoholic ho friend so i know who they are lol.

[Charlie Boy II]

I don't see why a guy who isn't interested in keeping a girl who has sex too easily is considered "insecure". Like Lesa, I think it has more to do with him respecting her ability to control herself, or minimally, it demonstrates that she isn't trivial about who she sleeps with; that she has at least SOME standards. You can't know a person well enough after a date or two to know that they are worth risking pregnancy or STDs over.

And yes, it's a double standard. Here's another one: women can't stand wimpy men, but it's tolerable for a woman to be that way. Life isn't fair. :shrug:

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.