So Alone

[vashti]

What Giga is trying to say is that you are NOT her friend because you want to have sex with her. Therefore, you should quit trying to pretend you are okay with her thinking of you as just a friend. You know... remind her that you have a penis and normal male urges?

Just tell her you aren't interested in being her friend, but if she loses the boyfriend, you would like to date her.

[slimla]

are you serious? I mean i have no problem saying that but is it okay if to her what I say completely comes out of left field. It might catch her off guard. Is that okay you think?

I still have hopes to date her and what you say is what I want to say. just fear of her going "omigod i had NOOO CLUE!" oor she might laugh and go haaa yah no probs see yah.

well your right and I agree with you now I just dont know how to say it. beause i see her all the time. just say that I like her and dont think its right to spend time with her because I'm just frustrtating myself?

[vashti]

I think the way I worded it was pretty effective. Just don't say it unless you intend to cut contact if things don't go your way.

[slimla]

i hear you. my one friend told me that she is dating the guy who is older. he might be helping her with contacts with money with whatever. Why would she leave him for you when you havent gotten to know her well enough to show what you have to offer as a person (personality etc).

Why do you (me) he said have to make these expectations for someone to immediately dump her boyfriend who she might have established a relationship and then now might have a financial or even social network benefit from him.

He said give it time and keep seeing her and let her get to know you. He told me when he was dating his current wife of 30 years that she was dating another guy at the time.

So with that said I am fine with rejection I just do not do not want to be seen by her as a "non threatening guy friend who she doesnt want to lose as a friend. who she would not date as she would not want to loose a great friendship over..bs"

thats all. he also said you need to stop analyzing everything and live spontaneously. I said well thats easy for someone to say who might have girls crawling over him. Of course I would be spontaneous if i naturally attracted the girls I wanted. Why would i need to think then? but after 20 years of aloneness its hard not to start to analyze. if something continuously goes wrong in your life or even engine of your car you as a human naturally want to deduce what is wrong and avoid doing the wrong to avoid the negative consequences of an engine or lack of relationships.

thanks so with that said what do you think? yay or nay with hanging out with the girl with the 40 something boyfriend who might be loaded or famous

[Gigabitch]

No. Don't be her Ken doll. You know- smooth in the front.

[slimla]

hello so i know what a ken doll and am assuming you mean a play thing for her? but what about the stories of guys who have stolen girls from their boyfriends and married or the girl that falls in love with another guy and leaves .... i dont know.

I really am not a poor me person but i have never ever felt so consistently depressed ever. This is on my mind all the time and I just really want to hear from you guys.

[vashti]

I believe what giga was comparing you to was the fact that a Ken doll has no genitalia. "smooth on the front" means no penis or testicles.

If you are in the "friend zone", you aren't going to be able to steal this girl away.