How to get the guy you want

[Yasmina84]

HOWEVER, there ARE girls we'd like BOTH with (sex AND a relationship) because we actually LIKE those girls.

That's what I'm aiming for, so A) Sleep with him, and see how he treats you AFTERWARDS (you'll be able to tell) is not an option. I'm just not really sure what his intentions are.

[NBT]

HOWEVER, there ARE girls we'd like BOTH with (sex AND a relationship) because we actually LIKE those girls.

That's what I'm aiming for, so A) Sleep with him, and see how he treats you AFTERWARDS (you'll be able to tell) is not an option. I'm just not really sure what his intentions are.

Hey. It's up to you. I didn't say you HAD to choose that option. I was just throwing it out there.

Reason being, you wouldn't wanna develop all kinds of feelings for him (while withholding SEX) and then find out he ONLY WANTED that by the time you DO sleep with him.

That would hurt a whole lot worse.

[Yasmina84]

That's a good point. That would be worse. If it is the only thing he's after, he probably won't change his mind in a week or 2/month. Since you're a guy let me ask you this. If you just wanted sex, would you behave differently around a girl then when you're really into her (not just physically)?

[NBT]

That's a good point. That would be worse. If it is the only thing he's after, he probably won't change his mind in a week or 2/month. Since you're a guy let me ask you this. If you just wanted sex, would you behave differently around a girl then when you're really into her (not just physically)?

Of course.

If it was JUST sex, I wouldn't want to take her out a lot, I wouldn't want to cuddle, I wouldn't want to introduce her to my family, etc.

If I genuinely LIKED her though, I WOULD.

(Then again, depending on how FINE she was, I might still do SOME of that stuff lol)

Ok Ok. Jokes.

But seriously, I show more effort and interest if I'm TRULY feeling a girl.

Text more, talk more, want to spend quality time, etc.

If it's JUST SEX, however, I'll call her at 3 in the morning and say "Hey, come over."

I'd never do that to a chick I liked, unless we were already in a relationship.

[davidtorres]

you cant read guys mind or find his intentions like this. seriously, he is attracted to you and if you give him a chance , he will have sex with you. now the question is would you want that? it seems like you want a relationship or to take it slow. if thats the case then just be straight up with him and ask him out. how hard is it to say " hey, i know this movie, I was wondering if you wanna watch it with me or hey i was wondering if you want to grab dinner with me"

[Yasmina84]

I'll give it a shot tomorrow depending on if I see him tomorrow. I've decided just to be dead honest and ask him what's up. I'm a bit bitchy today (not to him, just had a crappy day), so didn't feel like it today. Besides he wasn't very chatty either. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that someone wanted to ask me something and had his arm on my shoulder when I bumped into him. Don't know. One day he's flirting like there's no tomorrow, the next day he's distant. Just a hello and that's it. So, I probably know the answer then. We'll see.

[irrelevant_89]

One day he's flirting like there's no tomorrow, the next day he's distant.

Maybe he's trying to keep a balance on the level of "flirtiness" with you, so he won't look too needy or something?

Anyway, good luck it never hurts to take some initiative.

[Yasmina84]

Thanks, I'll do my best I did bump into him today, but he was there with someone from his work so didn't have a chance. I'll know more tomorrow. 3 options: A. He's into me B. He's after a one night thing C. I'm reading way too much into this and there's nothing going on at all.
I do know that guys apparently like to 'hit' me. This guy as well. If he keeps punching me on the shoulder like I'm some kind of boxing bag I'll have to resort to violence as well It didn't make much of an impression the last time I told him that, it just encourages him to keep doing it. Which makes him kind of weird, but then I again I like weird guys.
I'm just slightly worried to find out it's option C.

[Yasmina84]

So, I've kind of come to the conclusion that there's nothing there. Well I'm almost 99% certain. He probably likes me, but not in that way. If there was something he'd make a move already. (btw we also work for the same company which makes it difficult anyway). We spent all Monday e-mailing each other, and have a lot of fun when we see each other. Joking around and stuff. We talk about basically anything for a long time, but I have to be honest. Maybe it's just a getting attention thing he's after. Too bad, but I have to give up. I can drive myself crazy thinking that something like e-mailing each other all day (sorry boss) isn't something you do if you don't like someone, but it's time to get real.
Thanks for all the replies anyway!