Girls VS Video games

[mammadon]

I don't agree with this (and I'm a huge gamer). It's something she needs to deal with, though. If she can't stand it, she needs to leave.

Where she's possibly wrong is where she's trying to change who you are. Always a bad idea.

conflict resolution/management is too PC. IMO, there is a definite right and wrong party in a conflict, and human society wouldn't work if this were not the case. The intricacy depends on the nature/complexity of the conflict.

This conflict, as per the OP's points, doesn't seem so severe. He is looking to unwind, which no reasoned person would say is abnormal.

[Mathias]

I don't know why I stayed for so long, dying on the inside hoping he'd change... he never did.

This is the bigger problem, and the bigger lesson.

People don't change. If you have a conversation about an issue, something that's important to you - and it doesn't change, then it never will. You have to figure out if you can live with it or not. It's on you at that point.

[Mathias]

IMO, there is a definite right and wrong party in a conflict, and human society wouldn't work if this were not the case.

No, there's not. Incompatibility is also a consideration.

In girl68's case, there was an incompatibility issue. If she loved video games as well, she'd be playing right next to him. She didn't. He did.

There was no reason for that relationship to continue, given how much he liked video games. That's not him being wrong. That's just how it is.

[Mathias]

Which is why my ex at 32 years old is single and most likely will be for a very long time. Gaming is far more important that a special woman.

This implies being single and doing what you enjoy is a bad thing. It's not.

Yes, you're going to lose out on a lot of cool stuff. It's a choice people are allowed to make, though.

[girl68]

This implies being single and doing what you enjoy is a bad thing. It's not.

Yes, you're going to lose out on a lot of cool stuff. It's a choice people are allowed to make, though.

No, in his case it was game addiction. When you game all day long, ignore your woman, forget to eat stay up until 4am to play wake up at noon and through and through have little of a life other than games it's NOT just enjoying something, it's being addicted to something.

Yes, it's his choice, however he whines to his sister often about being lonely and not being able to keep a woman....

[Mathias]

No, in his case it was game addiction. When you game all day long, ignore your woman, forget to eat stay up until 4am to play wake up at noon and through and through have little of a life other than games it's NOT just enjoying something, it's being addicted to something.

Yes, it's his choice, however he whines to his sister often about being lonely and not being able to keep a woman....

Maybe he can find someone co-dependent?

[Archie]

Well, in girl68`s situation she did the right thing to leave him.
I remember when i was 12 or so, as soon as school ended, i got home or went to a friends and we started playing games until late evening. The older i got, the more there was to do(homework, cleaning, cooking, work), so that meant less time for games, so i stopped this nonsense about gaming until 4am(which i gladly did at the time), when i had to wake up at 6am, ah good times. I learned to control the habit. But why was i able to do so and not girl68`s ex? It depends on the persons childhood and how he/she was raised. There is no cure for addiction, there is only willpower and he lacks it.
As for rules, i`m not too fond of anyone telling me what to do and what not to do, on reflex and out of spite i`ll do it anyway.

Thank you everyone for your replies, this has turned into a very fruitful discussion and flame thread, which is most enjoyable. I haven`t resolved my issue with my girl yet, but i`ll keep you posted.
Also, it`s not like i`m gaming while she`s around and/or doing nothing, sitting on the couch staring at me with doggy eyes asking me to stop playing and take her on a date, whilst i`m ignoring her because my base is under attack - rubbish. When she`s not around i game alot, if i`ve nothing better to do, when she`s busy with something and again if there`s nothing better for me better to do, sure why not. I spend alot of time with her, still i can`t figure her out. Maybe she just likes to fight me.. she is kind of aggressive. I`ll find out, you just wait.

[Mathias]

Well, in girl68`s situation she did the right thing to leave him.
I remember when i was 12 or so, as soon as school ended, i got home or went to a friends and we started playing games until late evening. The older i got, the more there was to do(homework, cleaning, cooking, work), so that meant less time for games, so i stopped this nonsense about gaming until 4am(which i gladly did at the time), when i had to wake up at 6am, ah good times. I learned to control the habit. But why was i able to do so and not girl68`s ex? It depends on the persons childhood and how he/she was raised. There is no cure for addiction, there is only willpower and he lacks it.
As for rules, i`m not too fond of anyone telling me what to do and what not to do, on reflex and out of spite i`ll do it anyway.

Thank you everyone for your replies, this has turned into a very fruitful discussion and flame thread, which is most enjoyable. I haven`t resolved my issue with my girl yet, but i`ll keep you posted.
Also, it`s not like i`m gaming while she`s around and/or doing nothing, sitting on the couch staring at me with doggy eyes asking me to stop playing and take her on a date, whilst i`m ignoring her because my base is under attack - rubbish. When she`s not around i game alot, if i`ve nothing better to do, when she`s busy with something and again if there`s nothing better for me better to do, sure why not. I spend alot of time with her, still i can`t figure her out. Maybe she just likes to fight me.. she is kind of aggressive. I`ll find out, you just wait.

To be clear - I'm not flaming girl68. She's incredibly intelligent and thoughtful. I just think she was wrong here, because she was extrapolating her ex's issues onto the rest of guys who play games a lot (and therefore, approaching the problem the wrong way). It's reasonable to see why.

We'll probably go at it about this some more. It doesn't mean I think she's dumb, or I'm trying to flame her.

[Archie]

Ok, that was unthoughtful of me, sorry, i take the "flame" back =)

[vashti]

Whenever she sees me playing a game, she starts nagging at me,

When she`s not around i game alot, if i`ve nothing better to do, when she`s busy with something and again if there`s nothing better for me better to do, sure why not..

I don't understand... you are telling us conflicting things. Do you, or don't you play when she's there?

[DoesntMatter]

The important question here is what kind of PC games are we talking: CoD? Battlefield? Counter-strike?

Those games are worth more than any woman

[sadie_genie]

The important question here is what kind of PC games are we talking: CoD? Battlefield? Counter-strike?

Those games are worth more than any woman

If you are playing any one of those games, you would turn me down if I offer myself to you?

[Charlie Boy II]

LOL, I doubt it.

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, I love when my guys play vid games. Lets me go train or get caught up w/a book. Why don't you just sit *with* him while he's playing and do something else? His attention doesn't need to be 100% focussed on you, does it?

[HeartIsAching]

Does she read books? Watch movies? Paint? Dance? Macrame? When she does these things or anything else, do you admonish her for having a form of entertainment that isn't you? If not, why not?