Boyfriend going on exchange to US College for 6 months...wants to break up

[ashlees]

Yeah I'm greatful that he was honest.

Anyway, a minor complication arose.

I wrote a whole bunch of 'closure' emails last night - everything was nice and polite...expression of feelings...accepting we can stay friends after some time apart....

Then I get a call from him and he sounds different now...that 'tone' of voicoe that wanted to hook up with other girls had gone and he sounded back to himself...and he said he wasn't sure what he wanted.

I actually think that maybe a combination of his parents intensely increasing their dislike for me (which for him, means we can never get together anyway), he hung out with a few girls (maybe had a more chillax time than with me since there are no expectations and it's fun and all), coupled with a few of our recent minor communication problems...well maybe all this has steered him to thining differently?

I know it sounds like I'm giving him a massive benefit of the doubt...but to be honest, I went through a similar period with him. He was being a bit of an arsehole and neglecting our relationship. I hung out with friends and saw some nice qualities in other guys and was confused at that stage to whether I wanted to be with him. But he changed and became a better person and all that debacle is nothing but a small piece of history in the back of my mind which I hardly even recall.

I just wonder if he's going through the same things.

The way he talked....just sounded so sincere agian. Just like 1 week ago when everything was fine. And unfortunately I became optimistic again but we both agreed to give him some more time.

So as of the moment, my mind has basically considered that we've broken up...but this extra avenue of hope is sorta driving me crazy!!!

But alas, I'd give up anything for him so I will see what he thinks. If he has any thoughts of reviving our relationship, I'll make sure I question him hard and also reconsider if it's worth it - considering what has happened can easily happen again now....

But yeah... just giving him space.

Always sucks to be the victim of this stuff though. You miss them. They don't miss you. You go nuts

[ConniptionFit]

I wrote a whole bunch of 'closure' emails last night - everything was nice and polite...expression of feelings...accepting we can stay friends after some time apart....

Closure = the need to draw things out and create more drama.

[ashlees]

Okay done and dusted.

I realise there is no need to think.

If you need to think about it, there's no dreal drive anyway.

New chapter.

[vashti]

I think he is being very smart about this, and you are being a bit ridiculous. He SHOULD go away, and you SHOULD break up, and you shouldn't wait around for him while he's gone. If you two were meant to be together, then you will figure that out as soon as he gets back.

Would you really try to prevent him from having this opportunity?

[uklfstyle]

Um.... you believe that crap? No. Guys do not break up with their girlfriends to have the freedom to *befriend* other women. No, they break up with them because they want to do sexual things with other women. If you want to stay with some guy who plans to cheat on you - in whatever capacity - then by all means, let him have his cake and eat it too. Wait around for 6 months while he does god-knows-what with a variety of other women... that sounds like a party.

Ya,That's true,well said the breau-up with a girlfriend to make sex with other womens