Help me, Is My Problem With Women What I Think It Is?

[MerryH]

1.) I never made this girl do anything she didn't want to do. Nothing at all. She wanted sex after I told her that we'd never be girlfriend/boyfriend and I strongly suspect she realized it before I told her.
2.). She slept with me on the first date. Seriously, if she's thinking long term relationship on her end, something that could end in marriage, this is a HORRIBLE decision. Ladies, if you want a real relationship, don't give it for at least 5 dates or more. No guy who is thinking no chance of a relationship will pursue through that. And most guys who want a real relationship would way prefer you say no for the first five dates. No guy wants to remember that his wife gave it up to him on the first date. That's not comforting to most of us.
3.). I talked with her on the phone for an hour tonight. We like each other. If I were such an ass, why would she still be talking to me???? This girl is very smart.

None of that changes the fact that you treated that girl so poorly. I have no idea why she's still talking to you. Self-esteem issues? I don't know. You were still callous to her. You can't excuse yourself for that.

Edit: And forget the name-calling in this thread. Look at what people are actually saying to you. Your superior attitude (among other things) put people off.

[MaidenMinx]

Dear oh dear.

Girls with low self esteem will do a lot of things that don't make sense. She is probably hoping that if she does everything you want you will end up falling for her.

Just because a girl will sleep with you on a first date doesn't mean you should go through with it. If you know she isn't gf material and you want a gf don't touch anything that falls short of want you want in a woman. Have some self control man! Right now if you met the girl of your dreams she'd be unlikely to approve of your current behaviour.

[TheSingleGuy]

Hello? McMerry? Anybody home?

I didn't treat that girl poorly, Merry.

If I had treated her so poorly, would she still be talking to me?

Get off your high horse, Merry. Aren't you the one who called me a sick f***? News flash, Merry, calling someone a "sick f***" is an example of treating someone poorly. Good day.

[tremolo]

Um... you don't think you treated her poorly, but:

You had sex with her on the first date without telling her you were just using her for sex;

When you told her there would be no relationship on the *second* date, you nearly made her cry, and then you continued to use her for sex a second time;

You put the blame on her for any hurt she might feel because of all this, because you fault her for not having the common sense to resist sleeping with you early on.

And yet, you keep citing how very smart she is - and how utterly unattractive.

Your logic here is really incredible.

[tremolo]

And I still fail to understand why, if these women you date are so hideous you can't be seen with them, why you would want to sleep with them.

I don't know about anyone else here, but I have no desire to sleep with profoundly unattractive men.

[MerryH]

Hello? McMerry? Anybody home?

I didn't treat that girl poorly, Merry.

If I had treated her so poorly, would she still be talking to me?

Get off your high horse, Merry. Aren't you the one who called me a sick f***? News flash, Merry, calling someone a "sick f***" is an example of
treating someone poorly. Good day.

I have no obligation to treat you nicely. You and I are not friends.

I thought you were done with this thread.

[DannyH]

Attitudes like this is the reason why I hate dating guru's and the player's guides to pick up women. Not because the advice is wrong but beause it gives people with the wrong mindset tools to manipulate people and gives them an excuse that it is ok to treat women like that. It's obvious that you like the women but since your perception on beauty and attractiveness by outside sources that you can't handle it. You are too worried about being embarassed or scared because of a vanity scale based off of what society thinks. Which is why I know your not confident. Your a scared litte boy who puts to much thought in to what other people think. You break that then your golden. Thinking highly of your self and being confident are not the same thing. breaking that mindset will do you a world of good even if you are too stubborn to see it right now.

[HeartIsAching]

Hello? McMerry? Anybody home?

I didn't treat that girl poorly, Merry.

If I had treated her so poorly, would she still be talking to me?

Get off your high horse, Merry. Aren't you the one who called me a sick f***? News flash, Merry, calling someone a "sick f***" is an example of treating someone poorly. Good day.

Don't forget that you asked for opinions... don't get your panties in a twist because you don't like the opinions you're offered. If you don't like it, go away.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't really understand the problem. If you want to have lots of sex with lots of girls, carry on.

If you want a partner of quality, you have to BE someone of quality. Inside AND out, as Cam said. I think you are just to willing to take whatever comes your way. Be a bit more selective; if a woman isn't what you want, then be willing to wait.

You didn't answer my question about your wife. You aren't sabotaging yourself about what happened, are you?

[tremolo]

Did you ever consider, OP, that the quality women you are after are going to be totally turned off - assuming they are ever attracted to you in the first place - when they find out you've been banging unattractive women you don't even appreciate just so you can get your rocks off? I've stopped seeing men in the past because I found out they had a long string of women in their past - and I was particularly turned off when I found out who some of those women were, because I felt they were, in certain ways, not as quality as I was/am.

If you want to attract a 'quality' woman - and I hate saying that, because I know your standards are entirely superficial - you need to start acting like a quality man. And believe me, they do not bang whoever, just so they can get some.

Go see that therapist - not so she can teach you how to bed 10s, but so she can help you realize your priorities are all out of wack.

[Sonrisa]

"The background: My ex-wife divorced me 4.5 years ago. At the time, I was for a fact a bad husband. I didn't take care of myself. I was pale skinned, over weight, my teeth were stained yellow from coffee. I had gum disease issues. I think I was up to a size 40 in pants at the waist. I'd go months between hair cuts. My toe nails were curled around the front of my toes. Nasty, white callouses all over my heals and toes. I didn't spend money on stylish clothes. I wore my shirts tucked in and usually wore work boots around all the time. My self confidence was lower than low. I avoided social scenes like the plague. I was very shy. I talked with a nasal, beta-male voice tone. My income was horrible, as I was starting a business. I made $10,000 three years prior to our divorce and $20,000 the next. The year of our divorce, I plowed all the cash flow back into the business, so my income amounted to $0. I was addicted to porn. I ignored my wife. Towards the end, we would only have sex once or twice a year. I don't think we had sex the last year of the marriage. My idea of sex was no foreplay, just stick it in and start thrusting, and maybe during halftime of the NFL game with the TV on so I wouldn't miss any of the third quarter. (I just didn't know any better.)"

ha ha ha, what a load of crap

[surfhb]

Attitudes like this is the reason why I hate dating guru's and the player's guides to pick up women. Not because the advice is wrong but beause it gives people with the wrong mindset tools to manipulate people and gives them an excuse that it is ok to treat women like that. It's obvious that you like the women but since your perception on beauty and attractiveness by outside sources that you can't handle it. You are too worried about being embarassed or scared because of a vanity scale based off of what society thinks. Which is why I know your not confident. Your a scared litte boy who puts to much thought in to what other people think. You break that then your golden. Thinking highly of your self and being confident are not the same thing. breaking that mindset will do you a world of good even if you are too stubborn to see it right now.

Exactly....and the worse part is that its taken literally by guys like this, who have no game what so ever. They end up looking like dicks.....leave the PUA stuff to the naturals. lots of guys are naturally good at getting women...this guy is NOT!!!

[Wakeup]

My gfs are very slim and good looking by societal standards

They're also quite nuts by societal standards as well.. at least according to your other thread they are.

I think some peoples "pickers" are broken and they put way too much emphasis on looks and forget to pay attention to the psycho/low self esteem factor.

[Riku]

All I'm hearing here is that you think you are hot now with money so you should be getting hot women. I think you are leaving out a major factor...personality? You need to work on having a personality. Women aren't so simple that just because you are hot they are immediately into you and waiting for you to let them know what you want from them. Give me a break with that. Women are interested in more than looks but you are so focused on that it's a huge turn off. Whatever happened to finding someone you are attracted to AND have a connection with, as in someone you enjoy talking to, respect and find funny or intelligent? Stop focusing on looks so much, it's an aspect but shouldn't be your #1 (and only) criteria. If I think a guy is only trying to date me because he thinks I'm hot and nothing else, I can see that from a mile away and I have no interest whatsoever.

[IndiReloaded]

I think some peoples "pickers" are broken

LOL, this is true! Or even inexperienced. This is probably why when we had more 'parental approval', marriages lasted longer. I remember my parents both disliking an early BF of mine. True to their form, tho, they let me know but didn't interfere beyond that. When I finally woke up and broke off with him I realized they had been right all along, thank goodness I didn't marry him.