Really thought I had something here. :(

[Indestructible]

Yep. Lots of people who function brilliantly at work and are bastards or bitches outside of.

Eh. I still don't think that would the case with this particular girl, but I suppose whether or not that's relevant anymore is up for debate.

Because dating is based on one's expectations, and purpose. Like a job interview, you are being analyzed for the purpose of a relationship, possibly marriage. And like a lot of job interviews, it's a challenge to just get your foot in the door.

The best way to approach it is to not have any expectations (don't invest your feelings), be yourself, and don't worry what they think. In other words be confident in yourself and don't take it too seriously if they say no, or don't ask for a second date. Just go with the flow.

Well, that doesn't make dating (or socializing, in general) sound very enjoyable, then... Like I said, I just want to find someone I connect with, and have a good time with that person. I don't want to have to think about "moves", or "techniques", or "playing the game". Just doesn't seem very "organic", to me.

The thing is, though, I haven't even been able to get that far. I have to find someone that I actually want to date (and wants to date me) first. And therein lies the problem. Like I said, I believe the amount of girls I actually connect with in that way is very small, and they're very difficult to find. Admittedly, I do need to "get out" more, and I'm trying to work on that (but I haven't been able to do it yet), but even then, I don't know how to find girls. I have no interest in doing "cold approaches" because I have no interest in going out with people I don't know or don't know very well. Believe it or not, I don't know if I'm attracted to a girl in that way until I've befriended her to some extent, and once I decided I'm attracted, I already have "feelings", which makes things tougher when they don't work out.

So, I just don't know where that leaves me.

It doesn't help that I still have lingering thoughts and feelings for this girl, and they probably won't go away completely until we're no longer in each others lives in any capacity, and who knows how long that could take.

[smackie9]

That's why it's so important to have a strong social group. They go out and do things socially, and meet more people, and introduce you to their other friends (single female friends). That's how it works in life. You have to step up and get a social life and have friends. And do this "The best way to approach it is to not have any expectations (don't invest your feelings), be yourself, and don't worry what they think. In other words be confident in yourself and don't take it too seriously if they say no, or don't ask for a second date. Just go with the flow."