2 Dating Strategies Analyzed, which one works for you?

[Mish]

Friends. Let's not fight

There's no right or wrong strategy. Different things will work for different people. Although it won't be easy to find out all the qualities from the list until you actually go out on a few dates with the person (I.e. you have to start dating to find out the whole picture unless you know the rest word to mouth from other people). Like it would be hard to find what the guy thinks about your family, whether he is a possessive and is loyal and honest until he is at least your date (Just my opinion). And if the person does satisfy all of the items on the list, how certain are you that he will stay loyal? I mean #1s are usually what you would consider a good catch, they know their worth so why would they stay with you? How would you make them believe you are THEIR ideal?

Well, i guess the next question is, where do you find your dates? Do you specifically go out somewhere to look for them or do you let them come to you? Is there something you do to attract them? Any specific places you go to?

Thank you for your responses everyone... I am very happy there is such a diversity of opinion

Respect...

[Ellynn]

Well I do find out alot of this stuff just from dating. Then that alone helps me to decide if I want a relationship. I mean I guess I find out alot about the guy beforehand because most guys I date I meet online. (Ok I know I'm gonna get alot of crap for this), but its true. I don't meet anyone interesting at bars(nor do i go out to bars alot), I don't meet people at work.....cuz for one there are mostly females on my floor and second...dating a coworker can get awkward...been there done that. When Im out shopping, I shop. Not look for guys....and since I don't get approached all that often then theres really no place else I meet guys but online. Just chatting with them..i get an idea of what they are all about. If I get a bad vibe...I just don't chat anymore. If I get a good vibe.....i talk to them on the phone and then meet in person....in a public place. I mean I had good relationships and some bad this way. But no downright awful experiences.
I only meet guys from my area. I never really liked the whole long distance thing.

The guy does not have to be hot....and perfect. I mean honestly there is no such thing and guys who look really good can be intimidating. Sometimes their personality does suck....and more then likely I think they tend to go for model type girls.

Im not saying I wouldn't fall for a guy who likes me first. I have before....but as the relationship went on......things slowly fell apart. I still think IM a mixture of 1 and 2. But there are certain qualities that I find applealing and some I cannot deal with. I believe that if you love someone you can bend your preferences a bit..... I mean sometimes that actually does happen.

But I still think with anyone there is no guarantees .....whether they will change......etc. If they will be your ideal at first and then change. Even type 2 can change. You take a risk when you date anyone. But sometimes its worth it.....others you learn from experience.

I guess this screening process that I have mainly goes for online. But in person I get to know them. Then I go from there.

Point is, there are no guarantees with whoever you date/marry. Things happen....but you just kinda enjoy it while it lasts... If it ends up being a long term thing then it does.

[fear_21]

u got to get yourself together....stuck in a moment...and u cant get out of it....i just love u2!

[updraft]

Think about it: who would be more interesting to you - a criminal lawyer, for example, or an unemployed guy who sat around and played XBox all day?

Hhahahahahah good one !

[pxc]

secret revealved... Sorry to hear about your troubles, Lloyd. Money issues are, indeed, the root of all evil. Well, almost all. Lust is the other root.

Ignorance and greed are the roots of all evil.

Lust and "money issues" are derivatives of greed. Ignorance is the source of most fear, and a great deal of hatred.

Lust makes the world go 'round... it just needs to be monitored. Without lust, there would be no reason for sex, and no reason to reproduce and a dead world.

ALSO...

If you're looking for someone, there's always the risk that you may not be in real love. Explanation:

What if you do not fall in love with a person, but first you fall in love with falling in love, until whether you would love someone or not, you sort of attribute your love for love to that person, and fall into a pseudo-love.

Let things come as they will.

[Ellynn]

True pxc,

I admit.....i like the idea of being in love......(dont we all?). But I don't want something fake. I wanna feel like its the real thing. I thought it was before but then I realized it wasn't. That is why I'm not rushing into anything just to be with someone. I want something real....and honestly I haven't found that quite yet. I may have experienced it at times....but not enough to carry me into a long term relationship or marriage.

They say you know when its right......it just clicks. I can only imagine. Maybe its a false belief..... or maybe it gets your hopes too high.....but Im not gonna settle for someone Im not happy with......or vice versa.

[shh!]

Ignorance and greed are the roots of all evil.

Lust and "money issues" are derivatives of greed.

I can agree with you on the lust part, but not the money. money issues are not always about greed, if by greed you mean wanting more than one needs. Some people are actually POOR, meaning they don't have enough of what they need, and therefore are not being greedy when having money issues.

I hope that made sense. I am tired. Good night!

[Mish]

What if you do not fall in love with a person, but first you fall in love with falling in love, until whether you would love someone or not, you sort of attribute your love for love to that person, and fall into a pseudo-love. by pxc

BUT

You also have to becareful of not falling in love with the idea of NOT falling in love...

Otherwise you are risking turning yourself into a hermit and restricting yourself to your own private world. Always wandering when you do end up with somebody (After letting things come as they will) if you are in love with the person or just with the idea of falling in love, or with the idea of falling in love of falling in love of falling in love or is it all just a big coincidence and then falling into a pseudo-pseudo-love where you are just unsure about anything anymore. Like how can the universe be never ending and if it does have end then what lies outside of that? And how could there be a beginning of time if time has no end and what was before the time began? I think its very easy to juggle around these philosophical concepts... But the truth is love means different things to different people. To some people love means being with an attractive member of the opposite sex and initiating reproduction - however shallow that may sound (Thus they look for someone who fills that criteria and are happy in the relationship just based on that), to another love may mean a deep spiritual connection guided by God and by the stars (Thus they search for someone as equally spiritual and deep as they are), to yet another love means being next to a soulmate who may exist completely outside of their criteria and just belong side by side (So they go with whoever they think they belong) . I don't believe in the idea of searching less is finding more. I think the law of averages does apply here. The more you look the better your chances are of finding that someone special with whom you belong. You just have to know yourself and know what makes you happy.

This however does NOT apply to when you are in the relationship, because in the relationship (Once you made your pick) is when all the searching stops. But once again this thread is not about relationships, but about dating (But we all knew that)

Interesting opinion though, i liked that one

Respect...

[Tone]

K, I didn't read any other posts in here except the original and when I read type #1 I expected type #2 to be like casual dating... to me I think it's hard to differentiate the 2 you have listed... what person that you meet WON'T have qualities you find unattractive after awhile? The more you get to know someone the more you'll notice things wrong, EVERYONE has their problems/issues - you're never going to meet some dream person that will be perfect in everyway so I don't see how the 2 can be different? If you find type #1 you will (maybe later on in the relationship) meet type #2 in that same person will you not? At first you might think this person is perfect in every way - but we all know that doesn't last.

If I did, in fact, misunderstand and you were trying to say something more casual is type #2 - I'd have to answer that I'm a type #1 guy.. although I'd LIKE to be a type #2 right now - just to have a little fun and go out and meet new people.. I tell myself I'd like to casually date but then when it comes down to it I get all picky and in actuality I tell myself - why bother? If I don't see something serious coming out of it - I'm not gonna mess around and play games or waste anyone's time. I'd hate to miss out on the "type #1" girl cause I was too busy having fun with "type #2" kind of thing, you know?

Bah - I know what I wanted to say here - but I don't think I found the right words to get it all out...

Edit: By "I didn't read everyone's response" wasn't meant to be mean or rude - just don't have the time right now - tryin to catch up on the last 4 days of forum activity, while at work - so I'll get to it eventually, cause it sounds like a good discussion going on... just no time at the moment.. didn't want to offend anyone. Of course, I read Prodigal and shh!'s post while skimming through ;p I'll get to the rest later!