Bothered by a guy (loooooong!!!)

[IndiReloaded]

Don't kid yourself: that incident at your car was a line crossed. It time to play hardball now. Don't engage this guy at all. He'll freak for a short while, stay alert, its like pulling someone off a drug cold-turkey. The first month will be the worst but once he knows you aren't biting and have resources, he will leave you alone.

Don't be alone anywhere late for a while. It you must, be with friends and avoid the usual places (like the bar where he squeezed your knee). Protect yourself.

[Heratriumphant]

^That! Also see if you can get security to escort you to and from your car at work.

[qwertz]

i dont think the security thing possible..there is ALOT of security round the perimiter but not internally..i'll just get a colleague to walk back with me.

I dont think im alone anywhere...only at home.

[IndiReloaded]

I once had a guy I trained with being a bit too... enthusiastic... around me. I tolerated his flattery but once he moved to touching beyond the training, I had a chat with our sensei.

I think he threatened to kill him if he didn't treat me with more respect. LOL. Things got much better after that.

[qwertz]

thing is, the guys i know are a bit protective of me (like brothers i guess) and i wouldnt trust them not to touch him.

[IndiReloaded]

They don't have to touch him, just threaten him.

I didn't understand this either, but apparently its a well-understood response with men. Stalking is essentially a form of bullying, which is a type of cowardice. The way to handle cowards is, unfortunately, to show them a stronger force.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting this as a solution right now. But don't discount the idea if things get any worse.

[qwertz]

my friends think i should pretend to have a bf..i think that might make things worse.

the calls seem to have stopped for now

[IndiReloaded]

Having a guy answer your phone (when you know its him) asking "who the fcuk is this?!" wouldn't be a bad thing.

Again, tho, make sure its not YOU answering.

[all alone]

suggestions so far sound pretty good.. but if this guy is that edgy and freaking out as he is, i wouldnt egg him on pretending you got a bf, that wont help.

Use the males friends if anything else happen, but i wouldnt go there yet. Take all the protective measures suggested above that wont result in an instant stand off with him.

[Primo]

Indi covered it pretty well as for what to do personally Qwerty...it wouldn't be a bad idea to have one of your bigger guy friends pick you up from work and be 'seen', just make sure they can control themselves and draw the line at being intimidating. I worked with a gay girl who used me for that purpose on a couple of occasions, when her girlfriend was getting hit on by a guy at her workplace. It can work.

In addition, I'd say at this point you probably should swing by your local police station and run the situation by an officer. It won't take long, they don't need to come out to your residence or anything substantial, it would just be an informative discussion and if they feel it's warranted may write a quick report. Make sure you let them know the guy's name, don't be shy about that. It's possible he has a past, or they may know something about him that you or your friends aren't aware of.

It'll only cost you an hour out of your day and that way it's documented, so if things escalate there's a history. Hopefully he'll back off permanently.

[qwertz]

Im at work now- didnt hear anymore from him last night but i hate the way i felt/am feeling. Last night i hardly slept and this morning out walking in the dark i felt a bit paranoid lol.

I havnt seen him since- i know he's in work though as my colleague has seen him. Im gonna see how today goes and then decide whether to go to the police on the way home or not- i dont wanna make a big deal out of it if was just a lapse of judgement on his part.

I turned my phone on this morning and had 96 missed call alerts! lol

[Only-virgins]

Is he stalking you and constantly calling you even though you told him to stop?

[Charlie Boy II]

^^^^

he's a bit slow, that one. But he's been around forever, and he can be quite a character. He's harmless.

[qwertz]

Is he stalking you and constantly calling you even though you told him to stop?

Erm, well im not sure he could be classed as a stalker

[lhn]

Just read the whole thread... jeez.

Going to the police is a good idea. Its not taking it too far or anything like that and it's not like they will go and arrest him or give him a criminal record straight out. Its precautionary for your sake. Also, pretty sure you'll sleep much better knowing that the police are in the know!