GF dropped bombshell last night

[BrianK]

it seems similar again to my situation, we still get on really well, and we are discusing things like how it was, we have talked and talked and talked about everything, we ar eboth confused and not sure about anything, she certainly doesn't want a relationship at this moment but we get on so well now.

I told her that she can keep the key to the place as she will move out, and she'll be able to use the computer as normal when she wants and she has many friends as neighbours

we have discussed that we both need space and to figure out what we feel for each other maybe we'll end up great friends or maybe lovers again i don't know
but we know one thing that we really care for each other and don't want to hurt each other. who knows........

i will always look out for her, I think the meeting guy think was a protest and showed an issue with our relationship i dunno

But I still feel upset I must be stronger, she also feels the same. I feel I'll never love quite the sameway again.

I cling onto hope, that after a month or so we fall head over heals again

[blackiesharley]

Hey Brian, just checking in to see how it's going with you.

My situation has become very strange (isn't it always?) Very mixed signals from New Orleans Gal. Seems her mood changes by the hour.

The more I'm in contact with Xmas Girl this week the more I remember the lack of communication factor that caused the problem in the first place and she's gotten worse in the last six months since we've been apart.

I just want joy and peace, no drama. Seems impossible.

We'll see what today brings.

[BrianK]

hiya Blackiesharley theres still a lot of confusion here as we getting on really well in our home now, I've got docs to take over mortgage etc. But I feel its still there. the guy that messed our relstionship up is gone (looking more like a blip now) but we still not going out as couple yet, i did a bath with candles for her and said can i kiss her, she said no and still needs space so she is planning to rent somewhere. yet she cuddles me on sofa.

I asked her again if we could have a 2nd chance she said "maybe" god how to turn that to a yes i wish i had the answer, because I realise how much i love her, I'm being supportive and forgiving etc etc> driving her to work etc

Anyone know the answer on how i can change that maybe to a yes please let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blackiesharley]

Anyone know the answer on how i can change that maybe to a yes please let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, if had the answer to that I'd be richer than Bill Gates.

I think the best shot you have is giving her what she asked for: 'Space.' That's never what we want to hear of course, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

That's what I'm forced to do at this point, there's nothing more I can do, I have to let her come to me. Not game playing, but my hands are tied with no further options. Meanwhile, I'm planning on forcing myself to go out this weekend and have a good time (yeah right, like I'm in the mood)

Best of luck to both of us and remember that there's alway's 'next.'

[BrianK]

cheers man all the best to you as well

[BrianK]

double post for some reason

[rpglord]

I can not belive this...you are 34,but still you are not a man.Don't you see she is WALKING ALL OVER YOU ? Don't you see she doesn't respect you one bit ? What is wrong with you ? You know that 2 round things below your penis ? Its called BALLS.You should check to make sure your balls are still there...it seems she has taken them.You want the answer to your question...well you have to do everything opposite,because you are doing everything wrong.I mean she cheated on you ( you belive her when she said she didn't sleep with him ? coz if you do then...really..you need a reality check ), she is contacting a person whom he cheated you with you listening to this shit ? You are driving her around..you are buying her flowers...you are PATHETIC..if she had any love for you..you killed it by beeing her bitch..by beeing litle pathetic cowarldy slave who she can wallk all over when ever she wants..you want her back..start acting LIKE A MAN

[Gigabitch]

Nice, rpg. Very helpful. Should he beat her ass, maybe? Teach her a lesson? Brian is nowhere close to being the biggest pussy here, and he's trying to get her back, not make her pay.

btw, Brian, I do have to admit that things don't seem to be progressing. Are you just stalling until the shock wears off and you can bring yourself to be able to let her go?

[rpglord]

You have misunderstood me,I didn't mean he should make her pay or any silly stuff like that.I know he is trying to get her back,I am just pointing out he is doing it wrong way.Any relationship should be base on not just love,but respect also.She doesn't have any respect for him,because she can control him.Thats why probably she went with another guy...its not just that guy...its not because of that guy...she is looking to break up with him,because she saw he is not the man she hoped he would be...she saw she is not man at all ( I am just basing my opinion on what he wrote )

[rpglord]

Don't you see the problem here ? She cheated and HE is the one asking "can we have a second chance" Shouldn't it be other way around ?

[BrianK]

Hmm yeah man I know what you saying, maybe your right maybe your wrong there's no right or wrong way with this, she just repeatly says she needs space.

So I feel there's no chance, but me being me, I'm not a nasty piece of work so I'll play it out how I see fit as it was our relationship!!!!

[vashti]

You have misunderstood me,I didn't mean he should make her pay or any silly stuff like that.I know he is trying to get her back,I am just pointing out he is doing it wrong way.Any relationship should be base on not just love,but respect also.She doesn't have any respect for him,because she can control him.Thats why probably she went with another guy...its not just that guy...its not because of that guy...she is looking to break up with him,because she saw he is not the man she hoped he would be...she saw she is not man at all ( I am just basing my opinion on what he wrote )

I agree with you.

[BrianK]

So May I ask how you guys would play it?:

From this point..

[blackiesharley]

So May I ask how you guys would play it?:

From this point..

Frankly, I'd move on. You sound like a really good guy, just think about this...

At this very moment I promise that there's a girl sitting alone somewhere, (who know's she may be within a one-mile radious of your home? crying for a guy like you and will treat you like you deserve to be treated. You just haven't met her yet.

I would walk away from your current situation, yet at the same time don't slam the door completely. Let her initate the contact. No more flowers, no more candlelight baths, no more driving her to work. If you show strength she may show remose and see what she's missed and lost.

And I know while that's easy enough enough to say, it's actually what I'm doing in my current situation. Hurt's like hell, especially on a lonely Sunday afternoon when I should be at the beach with her and the kids but it's all I can do.

One thing that's helped me a bit... As much as the memories hurt, remember this: Yes she was part of those memories, but only 50%. You were the other 50%, meaning, she has to have moments where she thinks about them/you too unless she's totally heartless in which case you don't want her anyway.

It ain't easy....

[BrianK]

Yeah true man, I think your right. problem is she don't know what she wants unfortunetly which to me is such a waste


She'll be home again tonight, I've only just come back from friends that don't live locally. Hey on a positive note. I've stopped smoking today, friends think not such good idea. But my idea is to do something for me lol