Can someone decode this guy for me?

[BrokenPieces]

It's not necessarily "bad". He most likely didn't feel the need to reply to it. If it were me, I would've thanked you for wishing me luck, but I find most guys (unless they're unusually chatty) won't reply unless you're asking a question or you say something that makes him feel the need to respond.

If he hardly if ever replies to your texts and doesn't seem to show much interest, then I would give up, but if there's still enough there to keep you wondering I wouldn't yet.

[lemonade69]

ok so now after the text mssg, he pretends he doesn't see me, great.

i think i either turned him off with my forwardness, or scared him off.

what should i do next time when i meet a guy like this?

[FoxyLaydee]

Thanks,

It's either LF, where genuinely good-hearted people come, with issues in life involving deep emotions, love, personal growth and such.. or some PUA forum where some punk-@ss teens just want to know how to get laid with 8+ girls..

So, it was an easy choice really..

Oh I know that forum! They are hilarious and also another one. They are called Sosuave

[Gigabitch]

The texting itself could be the problem. Reading through GrkScorp's posts, I notice that nowhere does he mention conveying interest through text-messaging. You know why? Because text-messaging is impersonal, flat. A pointless endeavor if you want to express interest to a guy.

A girl getting a text is a different thing. If it's from a guy she likes, she'll cherish it. Re-read it a hundred times and show it to her friends, assign all manner of meaning to it. It's like a coat hook she can hang her hopes on.

To a guy, it's just a text message. Guys are visual, lemonade. He wants to look in your eyes. He wants to see how you turn directly toward him when he speaks to you. You can text him all day and he'll still think about that random girl who smile at him in Starbucks this morning.

Go see him in person.

[lemonade69]

ok i get it. thnx.

[GrkScorp]

The texting itself could be the problem. Reading through GrkScorp's posts, I notice that nowhere does he mention conveying interest through text-messaging. You know why? Because text-messaging is impersonal, flat. A pointless endeavor if you want to express interest to a guy.

A girl getting a text is a different thing. If it's from a guy she likes, she'll cherish it. Re-read it a hundred times and show it to her friends, assign all manner of meaning to it. It's like a coat hook she can hang her hopes on.

Giga.. it's a shame I couldn't thank you 2943875628374562897346 times.. because I would.. You pretty much said what needed to be said..

Exactly.. I actually find it amazing how people end up getting into a relationship.. Both sexes make this mistake..

Guys think about what they would like.. and automatically think that it applies to women.. and so they try and mimic their likes and try and project their behavior to the "opposite" sex..

Girls think about what they would like.. and automatically think that it applies to guys.. and so they try and mimic their likes and try and prokect their behavior to the "opposite" sex..

YES! Texting a guy, means nothing.. and in the best case.. very very little.. It's actually very annoying.. As a guy.. when a girl texts me.. I have to dig through my phone.. access the text.. read it.. try and make sense of what she tried to say.. and I simply can't.. it means very little.. whatever she wanted to tell me.. she could have called me over the phone to tell me.. (and that's where the analogy to me stops representing the entire male population)..

Girls will save their text.. make a special folder for that guy.. go around and show it to all of their friends.. ask all their friends what they think it means.. that one little text message will have their spirits shooting up in la-la-land for a good week or so..

Also important, beyond texting:

I think I painted the contrast between "playing hard-to-get" for guys and girls.. what "ignoring" means for guys and what it means for girls.. and what saying "nothing" means for guys and what it means for girls.. Equally as important and different is social reputation and "face" (I don't know what Giga means by face, but you'll get a good feel for what I mean by face)

For a girl.. "face" matters.. she has to maintain "face" to maintain her social image and reputation.. because what others think of her.. will determine her ability to convince herself of what her reality is.. and will therefore directly affect how she can think of herself.. To a girl.. reputation matters.. So she will always try and maintain "face".. This is why women are so catty and information hungry.. constantly trying to not only maintain their own "face".. but gather information that could destroy the "face" of others.. In doing so.. they also feel the need to safeguard such information and not let it escape.. because to do so is to risk losing "face".. So when girls see a guy they like.. they would rather die, than let go of valuable information that lets him and others know that she likes him.. Up until now you couldn't explain it.. but now you understand exactly why you get that feeling.. exactly why you freeze up as a girl and result to making it your mission to not only give away zero information about your interest in him.. but actually extract as much as you can about how interested he is in you.. and it's never enough.. The result is.. a guy who has no idea that you like him.. while you try and let go of "hints" that you like him to try and maintain "face".. This is something Mish touched on last time when he quoted a girl telling him.. "You have no idea how hard it is for girls.. you guys have it easy.. you don't understand"

For guys.. they could care less.. In fact.. they have been culturally programmed to think of the voluntary release of such information as being a romantic gesture.. This is how guys think of it.. Which is why you get guys doing things like (offering to pick up the check "interest", asking for her number "interest", setting up a date "interest", being the first to express interest directly).. To a guy.. it's considered to be the act of a gentleman.. and again.. a romantic gesture "I don't care about maintaining face and all those immature child games.. I'm a man.. and i'm not afraid to express my interest in you".. This is also why guys get frustrated and even angry when they express interest and the girl will continue to try and maintain "face".. It's an uneven and unequal exchange of interest being expressed.. it's unfair.. unjust.. and unbalanced.. And to a guy.. it just simply means.. "she's not interested".. Very VERY strait-up.. And two completely different worlds.. It's amazing how the two come together..

So.. when a girl fails to express interest.. a guy can only take it one way.. "I don't know if she likes me".. HINTS DON'T WORK! I'll tell you why hints don't work.. because 99.99999% of guys don't pick up on hints.. and the 0.00001% of guys that do.. don't need to pick up on hints anyway, because they know that you like them before you've even opened up your mouth.. they can read you like a book.. So hints are useless.. And if you play your numbers.. 100% of guys would value a girl who can directly express her interest in him to him.. That's just the way guys work..

And "texting" is in no way directly expressing interest.. So from now on.. I think you have a pretty good model to work with.. So ask yourself.. "What would this mean to a guy?".. and you'll do just fine.. Trust me.. if you're showing the willingness to come on here and learn.. then you definitely have the willingless to go out there and apply all these things.. you'll do just fine.. no doubt about it..

Better luck next time lemonade.. You learned, and that counts.. don't overlook that..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Lozenger]

Wow!
GrkScorpe's advice is the best - he really should write a book and then he'd make millions!
I think you should follow what he said really

GrkScorpe - I was only a little confused on what you said about maintaining face -"I don't care about maintaining face and all those immature child games.. I'm a man.. and i'm not afraid to express my interest in you".
I thought guys DID try to maintain face - sort of like in the film Grease where Danny pretends not to like Sandy infront of his friends. Do guys ever think like this: "I know she likes me, but I told my friends about her and they laughed, so I have to pretend like I don't like her now so that my friends won't laugh at me. I'll still make eye contact but I won't talk to her as people will laugh.Then at least she'll know I like her a little too."

That's what I wondered when I was watching Grease today and if that is true then surely that would make the girl think that the guy isn't interested in her? - which is what I thought Sandy might have thought when Danny stood her up infront of his friends.
So really, it is weird how the two sexes come together when we have such different perceptions of things - I guess that is one of the reasons why a baby is considered a miracle, not only because of all the things that can go wrong during conception and pregnancy but also because of the fact that the parents got together in the first place.

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