Fake it

[ecojeanne]

Well, in a way you did insult when you said that one obvious example of fakeness is America + the example posted (have a nice day). I don't think that's the case at all. I think you could've made your argument better and more specific to maybe certain social norms in the western culture or certain personality types. Without it what you post sounds too random and too vague and ofcourse some people will take offence to these generalizations.

well i did say don't take offense to that example coz it wasn't meant that way, it was about individuals being fake

[miSSleepy]

Eco, you're a f&^$%cking hippy wh*&^ore shut ya trap... no offense



KIDDING...

but, if I wasn't, you'd take offense.

[Mish]

well i did say don't take offense to that example coz it wasn't meant that way, it was about individuals being fake

How about you post one specific example of this dreadful / boring fakeness that you can't stand from your personal encounters that everyone can discuss? That way people won't feel defensive when they know it's nothing to do with them and might even contribute to your thoughts on this.

[miSSleepy]

I envy your ability to be so diplomatic Mish
but it is something to do with certain forum members, and because we don't know, it could be anyone. Could be me.

[Mish]

I envy your ability to be so diplomatic Mish
but it is something to do with certain forum members, and because we don't know, it could be anyone. Could be me.

Thanks, but I didn't mean about certain forum members. I meant about some person from eco's life experience who's allegedly being fake. One specific example that people can relate to (in some way).

[IndiReloaded]

How could anyone know anything about forum posters? Its anonymous, that's the point. The whole comment about ppl here is stupid b/c it can't be proven, regardless. With the exception of a very few on here, we could all be products of a computer program far as I'm concerned.

[Gribble]

God, I hate when people leave things in the open like that. Either don't mention that you think some of us are fakers in the first place or have the balls to state names. Who knows, we may even agree with you, Eco. Cowardice and passive aggression are becoming synonymous with you.

[ecojeanne]

Ok here’s a real life example I experienced. My ex used to make unnecessary compliments to his friends and tell me some awful stuff behind their backs saying how brain damaged they were etc etc. Over the top comments that indicate fakeness for no reason. It’s that sort of thing I’m referring to. Real bullshit.

He’s not the only one I’ve seen this in. For him I know it was his need to be accepted and be popular.

People that present themselves as a fantastic person. Why try so hard to convince people you’re something you’re not. why the need? It’s obvious and painful to watch.

It’s like when people ‘sit on the fence’ and don’t speak up when asked, but later complain when their opinion or point of view hasn’t been taken into account.

Friends who let each other down because of a group’s opinion and they don’t stand up for their friend that they expressed the same opinion with. Overall I seem to find some people have the ‘same’ opinion and are not able or willing to be honest.

[Mish]

Ok here’s a real life example I experienced. My ex used to make unnecessary compliments to his friends and tell me some awful stuff behind their backs saying how brain damaged they were etc etc. Over the top comments that indicate fakeness for no reason. It’s that sort of thing I’m referring to. Real bullshit.

Yeh, I've known people like that. Sometimes it's due to them being unable to face the person with more power than them (for example in the workplace) but feel frustrated anyway, so they release they anger behind the person's back. Sometime's it's due to the way they were brought up, to avoid conflicts and release their views in private. Sometimes it's just due to a hypocritical personality. There will always be some sort of a reason, one thing I've learnt to always bear in mind is 'no one is perfect'.

To avoid fakeness maybe it's better to just not associate with those types of people?

[Hollywood]

I know there are "fake" people out there, but you use the example of someone saying "have a nice day." That's not necessarily fake. It's more of a courtesy or a social niceity.

Is there something wrong with wanting to be pleasant in social situations? Sometimes you have to, like for example at work, where your business reputation might be on the line if you're bitchy.

I agree. If that's the case I guess I am fake too because at my work place, I don't necessarily like everyone I work with but I am decent around them because we have to work together. So idk... LOL!

[Dasein]

Damn! What's happening around here? An all in LF brawl..I will referee!!

Ok I will try to answer the OP with some of my observations. I really struggle with fakeness myself.

Especially in the work place where on a daily basis I have to deal with various personality traits and neurosis. In the past there has been definite people that I have not liked and they in turn did not like me which is fair enough. But then you have these instances like conferences or dinners where they try to strike up a conversation.

This makes me a bit uncomfortable because I prefer not to buy into the veneer of phoney interaction. I usually answer politely and then make up and excuse like my hair is on fire to move on to the next person to chat to.

In saying all of this I acknowledge that if I really said the things I wanted to there would be chaos. So I guess in summary the reason is to avoid chaos.

[doppelgaenger]

Now people please don’t take offense here but I personally found of all the countries I’ve been to that the Americans are soooo on top of this fakeness e.g: ’have a nice day’

Well top o' the morning to ya.

^^ Just in case anyone didn't see that.

[Mish]

In saying all of this I acknowledge that if I really said the things I wanted to there would be chaos. So I guess in summary the reason is to avoid chaos.

I like this response

Fakeness vs Chaos

I guess the first is better of the two evils. Not every little thing in life requires serious damage as a consequance. It's an attempt to let go of whatever issue there is between the two parties (at least face to face). --- In that particular instance.

[boobaa]

Fakeness has been in my interest of study also. people often exhaggerate too much, or say things they don't really need, and then there are people who are just hypocritical. The truth is, half of them are not self concious about it, and you can't balem them because it is the enviornment.

To tell someone that 'I don't like to lie' may actually be caused because you have lied a bit much, even if it is to yourself. I know I have, and I don't like it. For me, it has been the question of fiting in, because I used to be the one who get straight to the point and forget all the formalities, and I still don't understand how human relations work. I just don't get it and sometimes I doubt I ever will... Ever since I went to school, I saw people doing odd things, blaming each other for their own mistakes etc.As time goes by, you just grow in it, just to fit in...

Chaos, you say? That is maybe because we are so obsessed with fakeness that we don't think things through anymore, in the end we don't know what we want.

[Lipp]

You're my bitch. My own personal bitch. Which means, that I own your ass. Which means - That when I pull the strings, you dance. Like the puppet you are.