Self esteem...where does it come from?

[shh!]

Rich man's guilt. ^^ I've got to agree that policies like that screw up the economy. A person needs to maintain balance.

Although honestly, I'd rather waste the money on the poor than waste it on a war.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh no. Its not guilt, lol. Rich men (banks) made TONS of money off of doing this. Just think: all that money from mortgages that would have gone towards rental income for average joe property owner (average relative to the banks). With all the tax implications of that, also. It basically moved a whole load of income out of the private, individual sector into the business finance one. They WANTED that cash, oh yes.

This is why a lot of ppl think the banks shouldn't be bailed out. Private deposits should be guaranteed, yes. But not bailing out banks who very deliberately knew what they were doing. Likewise for those banks who bought those worthless mortgages off of the primary lending banks. Duh. Everyone in finance (and lots with common sense) KNEW this was a time bomb.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I know you guys dont believe how low my self esteem is because of how I acted for the bet. But thats what I did....act.

Alot of things get to me, and honestly it matters to me what everyone thinks of me. I always try to please everyone, and if one is not pleased I become depressed. I personally feel I try hard to dress to impress guys,(especially my ex). When my ex and I were together and were going out, I would dress up. He never complimented me so I always felt like I wasnt attractive because he wouldnt say anything. At first(pre baby), I didnt like getting compliments all the time, but now(post baby) I want it when I at least try to look good. Do I want to feel this way? Nope. But I would say my weight is a big part of why I feel this way. There's also other problems (especially guys) that make me think lower of myself.

Self esteem definitely is built. You build it when you get the mentality that you could care less about what people think about you; that people will always hate on what you do and you shouldnt kiss anyone's ass and you should feel good about yourself regardless of what anyone thinks. See, I know the mentality, but I dont have it.

[ecojeanne]

I know you guys dont believe how low my self esteem is because of how I acted for the bet. But thats what I did....act.

Alot of things get to me, and honestly it matters to me what everyone thinks of me. I always try to please everyone, and if one is not pleased I become depressed. I personally feel I try hard to dress to impress guys,(especially my ex). When my ex and I were together and were going out, I would dress up. He never complimented me so I always felt like I wasnt attractive because he wouldnt say anything. At first(pre baby), I didnt like getting compliments all the time, but now(post baby) I want it when I at least try to look good. Do I want to feel this way? Nope. But I would say my weight is a big part of why I feel this way. There's also other problems (especially guys) that make me think lower of myself.

Self esteem definitely is built. You build it when you get the mentality that you could care less about what people think about you; that people will always hate on what you do and you shouldnt kiss anyone's ass and you should feel good about yourself regardless of what anyone thinks. See, I know the mentality, but I dont have it.

ladie in regard to you personally, i just want to say on here you come across as bubbly and fun, i always enjoy your comments. in regard to building self esteem, i know everyone is individual, i myself was extremely shy and self critical when i was younger. Now i have completely changed through life experiences. One thing is i forced myself to go to Australia on my own because i knew it would make the real me come out, it did, it was completely life changing for me because i had no choice but to change or go home failing myself. I made myself have self esteem, i put myself into vulnerable positions (when i say vulnerable; i mean things i was terrified of doing before) if that makes sense?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Yea it does make sense to me. Maybe I should step out of my safe zone and start to experience life(I am at age anyway). Kinda hard with a baby though

[IndiReloaded]

Well, children become one's life focus once they arrive on the scene. Everyone *says* they get it, but I've found that its really only something a parent understands.

How old is your child, Nisha? School age yet? That helps a LOT.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Nope, 18 months lol. She's started talking recently so it's nice watching her grow.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, babe, I have a 8 year old. I remember those early days. Some of them, I wanted to rip my hair out. At the time, I only worked PT (just to keep my feet wet) but it was a busy time. I know it seems aeons away, but once they get into school your life becomes a lot more sane.

Just be super-extra careful you don't get preggers again.

Oh, and the weight thing was shit, agreed. It took forever to lose & nothing until after I stopped breastfeeding. Are you going to a gym & watching your eating? Those were the two things that really helped me.

[GrkScorp]

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Well, babe, I have a 8 year old. I remember those early days. Some of them, I wanted to rip my hair out. At the time, I only worked PT (just to keep my feet wet) but it was a busy time. I know it seems aeons away, but once they get into school your life becomes a lot more sane.

Just be super-extra careful you don't get preggers again.

Oh, and the weight thing was shit, agreed. It took forever to lose & nothing until after I stopped breastfeeding. Are you going to a gym & watching your eating? Those were the two things that really helped me.

Trust me I havent been so cautious til now. Sometimes you gotta experience things to learn, you know? Not me again...at least not now. I did start losing weight, but then everytime someone told me I was lookin good, I relaxed and gained it right back. I am an extremely picky eater, so its hard for me to lose weight at the rate Im going with how I eat. I am also a coke fan(the drink people!!!lol) and that's a huge factor as well. It makes me bloat up( I saw that when i came off of it and started drinking just water I was losing weight). But I love coke soooo much <3. It's hard to let go fully. One day I know I will take my weight more serious than I do now. It's probably the cause of my back pain I've had everyday for the past two months. My sis-in law said it could be the size of my breasts (I kinda hope not though hehe).

[IndiReloaded]

Ya, stuff like coca cola packs a lot of calories. I like it too, but I drank diet while I was trying to lose. Not the same, I know, but I got used to it. I also had to be fierce about not letting myself eat after around 8 - 9pm. I'm a total saltaholic.

Anyway, its only an issue if its bothering you. Tho if your back bugs now, then ya, its not going to help. I have pretty consistent low back pain now, from too much sitting at a comp I think. Exercise helps. Some days my am back ache interfered w/me running around w/my son so I started up on my simple daily exercises (takes less than 5 min) & its been helping. Miso suffers big time, tho, so if you want suggestions she would know a lot more.

[0001]

I would say self esteem and confidence are related. A person has confidence when they know what it takes to achieve an end and believe they have the means to do so. Self esteem is when a person's confidence intersects sufficiently with the aspects of their life they deem personally important.

When viewed in this manner it is apparent that self esteem can be gained and lost. It also lends some explanation as to why some people don't have it and why it can be very hard for some to gain it.

As an example, if you grew up in a musical family, but were very unskilled, your self esteem would likely suffer. You would have to either practice until you knew you could play well, or you would have to stop measuring yourself by your ability to play an instrument.

So in a very real way self esteem can be learned as well reasoned out (self reflection).

[Dasein]

I think self esteem is a combination of how you are raised. Self image, thoughts/beliefs and how hard you work at it.

I must say that I have struggled a lot with self esteem. I think is has a lot to do with my parents and how I was raised to be perfectly honest but I usually never say this because I hate the mentality of "blaming everything on the parents".

Getting to the age that I am now has helped me process a lot of things and try to get a better handle on my self esteem.

[Mish]

You are saying I don't know what the word "liberalism" means when you are the one too fuccking retarded to pick up on the context clues that give away the meaning of it

"Liberalism" in its common, everyday usage in the modern US refers particularly to social liberalism, which in this thread and most others is what I am referring to. So a liberal in this meaning is a person with a social liberal leaning. Unfortunately today, a lot of liberals decide other important issues like homeland security and economics with their little liberal minds

DM, you are a dangerous, extremist, far left Liberal (according to many muslims in Middle East).

This is what I meant about the uselessness of the term and over generalisation of it.

[DoesntMatter]

I don't know where my self esteem came from, but sometime during the course of this semester the school pooped on it