I'm getting fed up of this feeling...

[Desdemona]

Know what's really fun to do in Japan, Des? Find a taiko group that offers workshops. If you are close, I would suggest you take one of KODOs summer sessions. I've heard they are really awesome & you'll meet a ton of ppl. Oh, and taiko (drumming) doesn't require too much musical skill, should that be an issue. Give it a try.

I haven't heard of that! I'll give it a try...

[Bokonon]

I haven't heard of that! I'll give it a try...

Definitely do! It's so much fun, like martial arts drumming.

[Desdemona]

In any case, sometimes I feel it is linked with a battle to believe in my self worth. On one side, I rationally know and feel deep down that it is perfectly possible for me to be in a loving relationships, and that there are many amazing things about me (as well as not-so-amazing, like anyone!) and I know I have amazing friendships and do not necessarily need to live with somebody who loves me and assure me of my worth. Sometimes, I have the "mother" and "child" both exist within my persona. In other words, I have the vulnerable feelings of loneliness, insecurity, why nobody is ever interested in me, feeling like a loser, the anger and frustration of feeling like a relationship is never ever ever ever going to happen, feeling fed up of hearing time and time again "it'll happen one day", wanting to scream "how the hell do you DO it!!??" when people talk about dating, being angry and jealous towards such girls that have boyfriends and act like spoiled children expecting him to cater to their needs and emotions...And then the "mother" side which means I comfort myself in the way a good friend or boyfriend might comfort me - saying that I am special, I am beautiful, I am worth the best that there can be, that I can be sensitive and compassionate, that I can have plenty to give in a relationship, that it's ok sometimes to feel rubbish...
...All of which I guess is fine and normal, some days I will feel like the 'child', sometimes I will feel like the 'mother', often positive and able to not think about the issue, or feel down, as I am now, writing this.. But part of my mind just thinks 'why?' While people around me find relationships, find romance, and if not, at least have a good time flirting with people who are also interested on at least some level, that my romantic life has absolutely nothing, nada, zilch. Sometimes I wish I just didn't care, that I could be completely happy without a relationship...but I can't be, especially having never experienced anything close to one. I mean, it's not so much not having a relationship that is so bad, that's not uncommon, it's wondering why nobody seems interested that concerns me more.
People often seem to assume that I am avoiding relationships, pushing people away - but that is completely not the case - I have even asked people out, but with no success, which is fair enough, if somebody doesn't feel that way, but it still proves I can't get anywhere even when I am actively trying. As for waiting for somebody to ask me out...well I'd probably be waiting forever...
...And it's precisely these sort of phrases - "forever", "never" that express my frustration.
I'm also even quite open about the fact that I've never had a relationship, I'll never lie about it, because if I'm honest with myself, it's because I want that person to feel sympathy for me and assure me that there is somebody for me.
While romance and when a relationship happens can't necessarily be controlled, I am trying to control how I feel about it, and increase my self-belief to a point where I don't need any assurance, but when there is no evidence, it can become a herculean task... Say all you want "you may be surprised who likes you..." well I have never been surprised yet...

[Anomaly]

What you are feeling makes all the sense in the world to me, I am a guy and I feel the same exact way. Do not by any means, sell yourself short and go out with somebody just for the sake of a "date" because that is a waste of your time, and you are way better than that. Do not dumb yourself down just to have people feel comfortable around you. You are definitely a very smart person, it comes through loud and clear in your writing, and a lot of the time I feel the same way as you while I'm writing.

I'm 31 years old and I'm also struggling with the same problems, I have not been in any really meaningful relationships either, they are foreign to me. I always feel like I can be too intimidating, or whatever you want to call it. But I also refuse to sell myself short just to pretend and be happy with somebody, who I know that I'm not happy with at all. I would rather be alone, and I also try and make myself believe that I'm alright being alone, when I know deep down inside that there is something truly wrong with that. But on the other hand, I tell myself that the right person will come along, and that I should be patient and not force it.

I know that those questions can be very infuriating at times, but just tell yourself that it's better to wait, than end up miserable. Just look at all of the people getting divorced, and going through hell for nothing. A lot of people will tell you that they are so happy in their relationships, but many of them are lying straight to your face. To themselves they are thinking "This girl has no idea how lucky she is, not forcing herself to be happy with somebody who she isn't happy with." Relationships are hard, and no matter how much people tell you that they are in love, it's hard work even then, and they know that.

I also don't need anybody to help me believe in myself and prove my worth, because I already know that I'm worth something, and I don't need anybody to tell me so. I'm also not ugly at all, and you are very pretty by the way, and smart also, so do not let anybody pressure you into being with somebody. Live life at your own pace, and just know that there is somebody out there for you. I wish you the best of luck, you are a really cool person, and I hope that we can talk some more sometime.

[Desdemona]

What you are feeling makes all the sense in the world to me, I am a guy and I feel the same exact way. Do not by any means, sell yourself short and go out with somebody just for the sake of a "date" because that is a waste of your time, and you are way better than that. Do not dumb yourself down just to have people feel comfortable around you. You are definitely a very smart person, it comes through loud and clear in your writing, and a lot of the time I feel the same way as you while I'm writing.

I'm 31 years old and I'm also struggling with the same problems, I have not been in any really meaningful relationships either, they are foreign to me. I always feel like I can be too intimidating, or whatever you want to call it. But I also refuse to sell myself short just to pretend and be happy with somebody, who I know that I'm not happy with at all. I would rather be alone, and I also try and make myself believe that I'm alright being alone, when I know deep down inside that there is something truly wrong with that. But on the other hand, I tell myself that the right person will come along, and that I should be patient and not force it.

I know that those questions can be very infuriating at times, but just tell yourself that it's better to wait, than end up miserable. Just look at all of the people getting divorced, and going through hell for nothing. A lot of people will tell you that they are so happy in their relationships, but many of them are lying straight to your face. To themselves they are thinking "This girl has no idea how lucky she is, not forcing herself to be happy with somebody who she isn't happy with." Relationships are hard, and no matter how much people tell you that they are in love, it's hard work even then, and they know that.

I also don't need anybody to help me believe in myself and prove my worth, because I already know that I'm worth something, and I don't need anybody to tell me so. I'm also not ugly at all, and you are very pretty by the way, and smart also, so do not let anybody pressure you into being with somebody. Live life at your own pace, and just know that there is somebody out there for you. I wish you the best of luck, you are a really cool person, and I hope that we can talk some more sometime.

Thank you for your kind words, they really are appreciated. Especially as I am feeling especially devoid of hope today. While I know it's nonsense, sometimes I just give up hope of finding anyone, it's never happened, guys (unless they're over 35 or so) never so much as look at me or express any sexual interest in me in any conceivable way whatsoever, even though I am seen as very friendly and approachable and have many friends, male and female. I just feel so fed up of it all, and I guess it vents my anger when I say or feel that nobody will ever even want to date me, rather than be what I truly believe, but when there is no evidence in any interest, it becomes a battle every time to maintain this belief.
I don't know if it makes a significant difference, but I have worn a ring for the last six years, only a simple golden ring, not a wedding style one, but one that my Dad brought me and was originally for my school achievments. I don't know if a ring could have such a significant effect as to show that perhaps I was already taken and perhaps that would be why I don't get any interest? I am not sure whether that really is the reason, but I have heard of other people experience this. However, I do point out that it is from my dad and that I am single, and I don't know whether it is that significant, or what a guy thinks if they see a girl interested they're in with a ring. However, it just seems that for a reason I don't know that I'm not somebody that they'd be interested in.

[Anomaly]

Hey, I'm sending you a PM going into more detail about your posts, I hope that's OK.

But as far as the ring goes, I can't tell you it makes any difference or not, but since it's something from your dad, you should wear it nonetheless. But if you feel that it's something that you want to try, you should try not wearing it for a while. But the way that I see it, if somebody is truly interested in you, they will look past the ring and ask if it is significant, especially since women wear rings all the time. I think that it goes back to the fact that we can't sell ourselves out, so in the end I say that you should continue to wear your ring no matter what.

I understand you completely though, I have had the exact same thought process throughout my life. My mind always wants to find a reason as to why I can't find that special person, or what I could be doing wrong, and the doubt comes creeping in so fast. But lately I am working very hard on trying to get past that, because I know that it's just my mind playing tricks on me. And I'm getting so much better every day. But I thought that I should PM you about further things, so I hope that's ok

[Anomaly]

OH MY, what an awkward way to begin... I typed out a PM and got this message........

The text that you have entered is too long (5255 characters). Please shorten it to 1000 characters long.

Seriously? ... OK, thanks board! .. there should be a disclaimer.. there probably is......

...... Sums up my entire life of posting!

So heres most of the PM, and I just PMed you the end... here it is.. awkward!

Hey, I hope that it's OK that I'm PM'ing you. I know what you are feeling, I have felt that way so many times that I lost count already. A lot of the time it seems like it's totally unfair when you see people all around you happy, walking around hand in hand and you feel all alone. I know what a hopeless feeling that can be, and it's really hard to get over it and wake up with a smile on your face everyday, knowing that you won't spend the day with the person that you love. Some days I wake up feeling that way, but then I try to tell myself that maybe this will be the day that somebody special comes into my life and loves me, and it isn't one sided like it has been time and time again. Lately, I try to just tell myself that my day will finally come and somebody will accept me for me, because I deserve it just like everybody else does.

Please don't tell yourself that nobody will ever date you, because that's just not true. I know that it sounds hard, because I have been going through the same thing for a lot of my life. But lately, I've changed my outlook, and I'm realizing that showing confidence in yourself goes a long way, and people are attracted to that, male and female. I'm also realizing that being sad doesn't help either, so every time that I feel sad, I try to fight it off. And I've realized that there are much better ways to vent, other than just putting myself down. Whether it be writing something, or taking a walk when it's a nice day, do something positive, don't focus on the negative because it just holds you back. Just doing something that I enjoy helps me out a lot. I usually just sit down and start writing down whatever comes to mind at that time, and it helps me so much.

This year has been such an eye opening experience for me, it feels absolutely magical. Seemingly on the outside, nothing drastic that everybody can notice has happened in my life. But on the inside, I feel as if I'm just starting to find myself, and I feel changed. I don't get bogged down in negative things anymore. I have this newly found enthusiasm for just being alive, trying to do something to contribute. It's like a light switched on inside and finally showed me what is truly important. I am just happy with what I'm doing at that very moment. I have bad days of course, but nothing that comes close to how it used to be. I used to let anger and frustration get the best of me, but not any more. I have realized how much I have been mistaking anger and frustration with passion, and I have learned to channel it in a different direction. I used to get annoyed at the slightest thing. Well for the last few months, I never get angry any more, and I know that I never will again. If anything it's just momentary and it passes very fast. I don't let anything fester anymore like I used to. Anger and sadness is just something that will hold you back if you let it, and you are way too good of a person to let that happen. This year emotionally, feels like the best year of my entire life, and I'm still single.

I've realized that doing something that you love helps with your confidence and helps you vent also. And when you are doing something that you are good at, it makes you feel so much better. And I've realized just this year how much I love writing. And helping people is something that I love to do very much also, a lot of the time they go so hand in hand, and it makes me feel absolutely amazing inside. So there are other things that can bring you happiness when you are single, and I just realized how true that is just this year. Happiness needs to come from within yourself, first and foremost, and it took me way too long to realize that. And if I can help people realize it sooner, stop hiding from who they truly are, and go out and live their lives to the fullest, be themselves, appreciate what they have, instead of dwelling on what they don't. And at the same time just make them laugh and forget about their problems for just a minute, I will have done something that I can always be proud of. And that's the exact way that I choose to look at life since just recently.

You are such a smart person, and I really hope that you start feeling better. Never give up hope, because no matter what we lose in life, we will always have hope for a better day. Nobody could ever take that away from us, so keep fighting, don't give up because you deserve to be happy just like everybody else.

[lahnnabell]

Des, I understand this battle you described because I deal with it all the time. There is no point in your life where you reach a full 100% complete. There will always be problems, you will always be working out the kinks, you will always be caught looking down when you should be looking ahead. This is life.

I used to tell myself that one day I would have it all figured out. I would figure out how to not be anxious about money. I would figure out how to be a better girlfriend. I would figure out how to write poetry better. It's a constant fine-tuning process. It never ends. It is best to face this reality sooner than later. The "never-ending work" concept used to drive me crazy because I felt that I was always winding up with the short end of the stick.

Over the last couple of years I've really started to come into my own because I began to allow myself to make mistakes and accept that they are what they are. I accept that I have anxieties and that I don't always handle them in the best way. I accept that I don't have a high-paying job yet. I find the positive twists in these situations. Sure, I'm not a full-time teacher yet, and I want to be, but I still work with students and I believe in it and love it.

I also started doing things to help play up my strengths. I have a curvy body, but a very small ass, so I buy long, tight fitting sweaters and shirts. This helps me work with what I've got. I used to just complain about how I could never wear certain things because I had no ass to show off.

You seem to have a very pessimistic view of yourself. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to perform in the way you see everyone else performing. You have to find a groove that works for you.

What sorts of things do you usually do? What are your hobbies? Why are you in Japan? I know a lot about how you perceive yourself, now I would like concrete facts about you.

[Desdemona]

I guess for me it is a case of dealing better with the bad times. I feel positive much more often than I used to, even though nothing has changed in the way of relationships. I love experiencing different languages and cultures, as well as singing, and these are things I can devote myself to and does bring fulfilment in my life. I also know that I also have great friendships, which also have great value in my life.

You seem to have a very pessimistic view of yourself. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to perform in the way you see everyone else performing. You have to find a groove that works for you.

What sorts of things do you usually do? What are your hobbies? Why are you in Japan? I know a lot about how you perceive yourself, now I would like concrete facts about you.

I wouldn't say I have a pessimistic view of myself per se, I love myself just the way I am, and I know I COULD give somebody a lot in a relationship, but for some reason I can't be aware of, nobody is interested. It's not so much that I think less of myself and putting myself down, I'm just stating the facts as I see them, that I can't see anyone interested, and for anyone, wouldn't that be worrying or damaging to their self esteem? To make it more clear on what I mean, I have never got compliments on my appearance unless it has been online based on a photo or by an older man (normally over 35, read into that what you can!), I have never been approached or asked on dates, I have been rejected when I have approached people and asked people out, I don't get looks of interest that I see guys give to other girls, or my female friends, I've never been asked out, I've never been kissed (unless you count drunk approaches, or again, men over 35, I don't know why!!). Yet, I still have many male friends that I get on with very well and value me well as a FRIEND, but nothing more, so I don't believe there can be something majorly wrong with me in terms of social skills and the like - if I found socialising difficult or was very shy, then maybe it would make more sense, but in any case, I still see shy, insecure people have relationships. Faced with this, how would anyone feel?
I am also in Japan on a year abroad for my degree, by the way.

[corinthian]

To make it more clear on what I mean, I have never got compliments on my appearance unless it has been online based on a photo or by an older man (normally over 35, read into that what you can!), I have never been approached or asked on dates, I have been rejected when I have approached people and asked people out, I don't get looks of interest that I see guys give to other girls, or my female friends, I've never been asked out, I've never been kissed (unless you count drunk approaches, or again, men over 35, I don't know why!!).

Oh my God. I just actually waded through every single goddamn word of this thread.

My advice is you need to get laid. I mean it. You are an incredibly intelligent woman, a deep thinker, and quite good-looking. In fact, I would say you look sexy more so than conventionally pretty. That is a good thing. You have a good figure as far as I can tell, although you might want to put on a bit of weight (but, to be fair, I can't really tell from the picture).

No wonder you are attractive to older men. What the **** is wrong with men over 35? As long as he isn't a pervert or anything, that is perfect for you. Younger men are going to bore the pants off you, anyway. An older guy with a bit of sophistication just might get your juices flowing a little bit. Loosen up, for Christ's sake, and don't listen to all this crap about saving yourself for something special "later on".

As for the online thing, that could be perfect for you too. I'm practically in love with you myself and all I've done is read some of your excellent prose. Sign up to all the online dating agencies, write a little prose, and go out with all the guys who can spell.

[Cbrider]

Its very apparent by your posts that you are a well educated girl who is quick witted and a thinker. Now see if you can follow me here because you aren't all that different from me personality and trait wise it seems.

I have always been a socially gifted person when it comes to people, I can make friends with anyone and pretty much make anyone laugh. I have absolutely no problem talking with people older than me and sometimes make them feel uncomfortable because I am not afraid to voice my opinion and debate things. When it came to women I LIKED, I was completely dysfunctional. If I liked you my way of showing it was to ignore you, a killer strategy, let me tell you....I felt the way you did for a long time, I care deeply about people and humanity in general, so naturally I longed for someone to call my own and care for.

I struggled with that feeling for a long time, which was pathetic because I had no shortage of girls who liked me. I am a person very similar to you, I think constantly and I am generally a very intelligent person according to the standardized tests and placement exams. The said its also a potential pitfall in my personality. I think in black and white and in numbers. That is good for real world applications, but bad for emotional ones. I saw everything as a gamble with odds, which made me reluctant to branch out into the world of emotions and desires.

From what you have wrote it seems like maybe you think somewhat parallel to me. Its an assumption based entirely on what and how you have written here, but it seems like analytical people such as myself have a harder time putting ourselves out there because the odds are always stacked against you initially.

Like others have mentioned, body language can IMMEDIATELY turn potential guys away. You see in movies the guys that always walk up to a girl who is surrounded by her friends and ask her to dance. While thats dreamy, cute, heart pounding, what have you, its not realistic. Guys are easily intimidated by women and all but a small portion of men will not approach you unless you let your guard down.

You may not think its true, but believe me theres dozens of guys EVERYDAY that walk by you and think you are cute. Guys that are your age, single and available, you just need to figure out why they aren't approaching you. Your looks are not the reason, you're a pretty girl with beautiful eyes. I wish I could see you and tell you what I see that makes you think people wont approach you, but that obviously can't happen. Ask your male friends you are close to and trust what they think. I honestly think you just are more uptight than you realize due to personality and more than likely morals. You really have to let yourself go a little to break that initial ice down. The good news is it becomes exponentially easier after the first time

Theres plenty of eyes on you out there, give them a reason to approach you.

[Desdemona]

Oh my God. I just actually waded through every single goddamn word of this thread.

My advice is you need to get laid. I mean it. You are an incredibly intelligent woman, a deep thinker, and quite good-looking. In fact, I would say you look sexy more so than conventionally pretty. That is a good thing. You have a good figure as far as I can tell, although you might want to put on a bit of weight (but, to be fair, I can't really tell from the picture).

No wonder you are attractive to older men. What the **** is wrong with men over 35? As long as he isn't a pervert or anything, that is perfect for you. Younger men are going to bore the pants off you, anyway. An older guy with a bit of sophistication just might get your juices flowing a little bit. Loosen up, for Christ's sake, and don't listen to all this crap about saving yourself for something special "later on".

As for the online thing, that could be perfect for you too. I'm practically in love with you myself and all I've done is read some of your excellent prose. Sign up to all the online dating agencies, write a little prose, and go out with all the guys who can spell.

Thanks for the compliment on my writing, to be honest, I don't put much effort into the quality, and I am genuinely surprised that I come across as intelligent in the posts, since here I am just writing naturally what I think and feel in the most accurate way possible.
As for older guys, I just don't happen to be attracted to them physically or emotionally in that way 99% of the time. Of course, if there was somebody I was interested in who happend to be older, I wouldn't shun him because of his age, but most of the time, something like a 14 year age gap (since I'm 21) is normally all-too apparent. The 'relationship' I would most likely have with somebody older would be somebody like a 'cool uncle' or 'bigger brother'.
The only way I can really fathom how I come across is to ask people who know me, as I don't know exactly what might put people off. I know my 'default' facial expression can look a little grumpy, so I make the effort to smile to people. If there is somebody I do fancy, I will wish to spend more time with him, 'coincidentally' end up being with him, laughing and joking, etc, so I don't do the 'pretending to ignore' routine, which I can understand, but would not be in my instincts to do at all.
A couple of times I have been told by older people that have been attracted to me that I seem reserved or hard to read, but I believe it was because they were making advances when I wasn't interested in that way, so I BECAME much more reserved than normal, but who knows, maybe I seem like that more often.
I do try to create opportunities, though, in fact tonight I asked for the number of somebody I quite like at work (although he's leaving soon, lucky I got the number!) although I did it under the pretext of offering English conversation lessons (he's Japanese).
However, it's also conflicting views that are confusing - I can come across as available and flirt, etc, but then I would probably end up looking desparate, if I try and play hard to get (something not within my inclinations, doing stupid tests, 'making him wait', blech...) then perhaps I come across as stuck up or whatever. That's why I don't consciously change the way I come across, but my 'normal' way of being doesn't seem to work either.

[IndiReloaded]

What kinds of groups do you belong to? Did you try taiko yet? Check your PM, Des.

[lahnnabell]

What's your body language like? Literally, make a laundry list on here describing how you hold yourself in a bar setting.

Body Language: Me, I'm the girl chillin' with her (very hoppy) beer, legs crossed, shoulders back, relaxed. I scan the room. Make eye contact with everyone. Even the taken guys. I don't do this under the pretext of trying to steal them, but it tells people that I'm not shy. If you're the kind of person who tends to hunch over (even if it's 'cause you're cold) it makes you look unapproachable and closed. Be open and smile. Not a tight-lipped “Yeah, uh-huh” smile, but an open one that reaches your eyes. Show your teeth. I always hate doing this because my teeth aren't perfectly straight and I have a bit of a gummy smile, but I do it anyway. I realize that my strengths will far outweigh any minor flaws.

Action: I compliment someone on their pool game. Tell a guy that shirt complements his eyes. Whatever. Then when the game tables finally open up I play ping pong or pool and make a cute little ass of myself. But I laugh about. So I shot the cue ball across the room and almost killed the guy I've been eyeing. Oops! Great way to start a conversation. "Oh, I'm so sorry about your head, can I get you some ice and a beer?"

What sorts of things do you and your friends do when you go out? Are you a silly person? Can you laugh at yourself? Those are clear indicators that you are confident and approachable before you even talk to anyone.

Conversation: When I do talk with a guy, I start probing for a connection. Something to make it worth while. If a guy is clearly trashed and/or conversation is looking grim, I quietly move on to the next. Last night, I just happened to meet a cool guy who is from Massachusetts as well! That piqued my interest and kept conversation going. I laugh, make silly jokes, talk about what I'm doing with my life, give my friends shit about whatever. I'm doing a couple of things when I do this. 1. Being fun. I'm saying, "Hey, I know how to have a good time. You should hang out with me." 2. Having fun. I'm literally just having a grand old time being with my friends and drinkin' beer.

And as for conversation topics, you can totally have an intelligent conversation in a bar. However, I know some people who habitually get into fights over certain topics. Religion, education, immigration (big in San Diego, naturally), etc. I tend to steer clear of those and focus on marketing my good points. Like where I've traveled to, why I love studying languages, or how much I love my students or what my favorite band in high school was.

Looks: If you feel guarded, you'll look guarded. What are the features do you like about yourself? If it's eyes, play 'em up. An eyelash curler and some mascara go a long way. Shoulders, wear a tank top with delicate straps that shows 'em off. Ass, get some tight low-rise jeans then play some pool. (I know you're intelligent and want that to be acknowledged, but people SEE your body first) and it helps to play up those strengths. I have curves so I wear fitted sweaters and shirts. I'm not really into the strappy sequiny blousy numbers that all the ladies are wearing nowadays. I like soft fabrics and v-necks because I feel it's more sensual and romantic. Hair, side-parts add mystery, low, loose ponytails are cute and carefree. I saw a girl with pigtails plastered down behind her ears last night and thought, “Yeah, no.” Granted that's a first impression as she is probably a very nice person, but I didn't find her initially attractive.

I saw a very pretty woman last night who I think was with a guy I'd chatted with quickly. I couldn't tell though. Know why? She didn't say a word all night. Not to anyone. She was wearing a pretty turquoise tank and jeans, pretty makeup. Sat on the sidelines, watching her friends? (I couldn't even tell, she made no move to talk to anyone) and she looked a little mopey. She made eye contact with me over the head of a guy I'd been talking with and I just gave her a sympathetic look.

What do you do when no one is talking to you? Do you seek out conversation? Do you sit there and wait?

What if something embarrassing happens? Like you slip and fall, or you spill something on yourself? Do you play it off?

You're still giving me lots of thoughts on how you think you're perceived, and how you see yourself, but not the concrete facts.

[Desdemona]

What's your body language like? Literally, make a laundry list on here describing how you hold yourself in a bar setting.

Body Language:

Action:

Conversation:

Looks:

What do you do when no one is talking to you? Do you seek out conversation? Do you sit there and wait?

What if something embarrassing happens? Like you slip and fall, or you spill something on yourself? Do you play it off?

You're still giving me lots of thoughts on how you think you're perceived, and how you see yourself, but not the concrete facts.

Ok, if you want concrete facts about me and my personality, then I'll explain them.

Body Language:
I am not particularly aware of my body language, but I try to make myself open to people as much as I can rather than 'close' myself. The majority of the time I do feel confident or comfortable, and the negative thoughts that are posted here are not often in my mind if I am busy chatting or doing whatever with others most of the time.

Action:
I guess I am similar to you in some ways, I love having a laugh or being silly sometimes, especially showing my silly dances such as "the shopping cart" or "milking the cow" or my favourite, "Running man" :p I have to admit that I'm not a strong flirt, but I can only really do it if I get at least some small possible signals from somebody I want to flirt with. However, I do make eye contact with people I may want to talk with, male or female, and I normally end up speaking to them. In fact, certain people I didn't really speak to or didn't particularly find friendly to begin with have become good friends later on. I also do start conversations - I don't always wait.

Conversation:
I like having interesting/possibly intellectual conversations or just having fun, depending on what the 'atmosphere' is like and one thing people know about me is my penchance for terrible puns! I tend to connect well (like most people) who have a similar type of humour or with whom I can exchange witticisms or whatever, although another type of guy I like is somebody who has some kind of an 'innocent' quality or a kind of 'kindness' rather than one that is too confident and intimidating, although it does depend on the person, and I couldn't define any kind of clear parameters (and why should I anyway?) I can have many great conversations with guys and get on with them, and they seem 'attracted' as a friend, but it never goes any further than that.


Looks:
I love to be fashionable, and style my hair (all my friends joke that I could never go camping or go without my 2000 hair products because I spend so long on my hair, but I say because my hair is naturally crap and I have to style it to make it look respectable! ) but I tend to wear skirts, sometimes hotpants to show off my long legs (I'm 5"7 or 169cm and size 8 UK size, or size 4 American size, I think) and people often compliment me on my clothes. Normally I wear makeup to cover flaws, such as tired looking under-eye skin, etc and mascara, etc, although I make it look subtle, such as in the picture below (more recent pic than the original one) - I am wearing mascara, a bit of foundation and powder, although some people think I am not wearing any makeup.



As for my figure, here is a rather poser-ish picture - [url]http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/6393/n10223812561158829717.jpg[/url]

Hope all that helps give a more accurate picture!