Ask Me Anything About Guys

[Charlie Boy II]

Charlie Boy II says:

"If a girl gives it up to soon it just gives me the impression she's had heaps of dicks in her.

If something is widely available, then its value is reduced. I don't feel like I'm getting something that's really special. It also makes me think she's a bit tainted.

For me it has zero to do with being compared with other guys. I never worry about that stuff."

why do you feel you deserve a girl with a high value? How do you determine her value? For example, what if she's intelligent, nice, and athletic, but puts out after a couple dates? Also, how would you feel if a girl told you the same: you weren't desirable enough for her b/c you haven't been in as many relationships or with as many sexual partners?

1. I feel like I deserve a girl of high value because I hold myself to be high value. Also, I am attracted to other people who exhibit a high sense of self-worth.

2. Of course value is not solely related to how long a girl waits. If a girl was otherwise perfect and she put out in a week, of course I wouldn't break up with her. The last girl I dated put out on the second date. It didn't worry me that much. It's just a preference.

3. I don't really understand the nexus of your third question. If a girl told me I wasn't desirable because I haven't f-cked enough other chicks first I'd probably think she's a bit loopy. Anyway, people have a right to set their own criteria of the people they go out with.

[vashti]

3. I don't really understand the nexus of your third question. If a girl told me I wasn't desirable because I haven't f-cked enough other chicks first I'd probably think she's a bit loopy. Anyway, people have a right to set their own criteria of the people they go out with.

Yeah, I think women generally consider some experience in males to be beneficial (unless the woman is religious and/or a virgin).

[misombra]

vashhh you're gonna have to be a little bit more productive otherwise i'm gonna have to start charging to keep quiet about you and charlieboy.

[Aeradalia]

Hmm... I think understanding what men want in the end (long term relationship-wise) would help to understand the means by which they pursue women on the dating scene.

So, what is it that men want in a woman? What qualities are they wanting/needing in a woman that would make them say 'yeah, this is someone I can see spending the rest of my life with'?

[Charlie Boy II]

Well every guy's different personally, the following would be non-negotiable:

1. intelligence
2. humour and general spunk
3. Honesty and a good set of values
4. Attractiveness.

[Mish]

Also, I am attracted to other people who exhibit a high sense of self-worth.

I think that it's important for a partner to have a good self perception. Though high sense of self worth can be problematic. This trait is very common in narcissistic people.

Personally I am attracted to people with a high level of self knowledge, ones aware of both their strengths and weaknesses and are not afraid to show them. Ones who value themselves but at the same time realize they still have a way to go.

[Aeradalia]

I think that it's important for a partner to have a good self perception. Though high sense of self worth can be problematic. This trait is very common in narcissistic people.

Personally I am attracted to people with a high level of self knowledge, ones aware of both their strengths and weaknesses and are not afraid to show them. Ones who value themselves but at the same time realize they still have a way to go.

Someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses... is interested in improving themselves... and understands the part self-worth plays in achieving this improvement?

[Charlie Boy II]

Personally I prefer self-worth. So much garbage arises from insecurities. That was probably the best thing about Kristen, she was incredibly secure. It did give her a sometimes irritating sense of entitlement, but on balance it was great.

[lesa]

Sometimes it's difficult to date for long term (or even short term) when you have a high sense of self worth. It's difficult to figure out who is worth your time to date.

[Aeradalia]

Sometimes it's difficult to date for long term (or even short term) when you have a high sense of self worth. It's difficult to figure out who is worth your time to date.

A high sense of self worth tends to act as a filter... so naturally, there will be more difficulty to find someone 'worthy' as you filter out the rest.

It just depends on what you are looking that determines how difficult the search will be.

I don't think it's a matter of it being difficult to figure out who is worth your time... as it is difficult to FIND someone who is worth your time when you have a high sense of self-worth.

If you have a low sense of self-worth... most anyone is worth your time... because of the desperation you feel.

There is nothing wrong with a high sense of self worth so long as you are reasonable in the worthiness you give yourself... and reasonable in the traits you want in someone else.

[misombra]

i like stupid guys with low self esteem. it's easier to take advantage of them for their money.

[shree367]

i have talked to him.. he gives me every excuse.. and he wants to spend all his time with me.. i dont doubt he loves me with all his hearti dont think hes not interested because he always does cute things for me.. whether he makes em things at work, or just cute things when were together... (were always together.. when hes not working..and he works like 50 hour weeks.. soooo).. maybe its cos ive gained someweight.. could thatbe it?dont get me wrong im not a fattie but im not what i used to be thats for sure.

[Mish]

Someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses... is interested in improving themselves... and understands the part self-worth plays in achieving this improvement?

Something like that. I find an element of humbleness and modesty very attractive in people, especially if they really are high value (intelligent, attractive etc..) People who have a heart and care for others. I'm fortunate to know a few of them and they are friends for life. I find with people with perceived high self value this quality is often lacking.

[misombra]

you guys are derailing this thread. i have another question.

why do guys have such thick skulls?

[Lite]

you guys are derailing this thread. i have another question.

why do guys have such thick skulls?

Many of us don't. You (the woman) just often attempt to communicate in ways that we are not taught to understand. We're not raised to understand the sheer level of body language and vocal tone that a woman uses every day.

So, if you want something important from us, you need to tell us clearly and simply that this is a need that makes or breaks the relationship.

Just because you feel you are communicating effectively doesn't mean that we feel you are.