I'm not good with women so I appologize if these are simple questions

[HDBadger]

I agree, surf, that he may still get his date, but my point is: Why would he still want it? He's said, point blank, that she's already driving him nuts...and they haven't even been on a proper date!!! Why would he want to persist after someone like that? I disagree with traditional gender roles, so I also disagree with you guys that the onus is all on him to make this happen. That's my opinion, but I respect whatever viewpoints you have on the matter.

The bottom line is, the very earliest stages of this courtship haven't been particularly smooth, and, honestly, they both seem to be acting vague and noncommittal. That's not a good sign.

[surfhb2]

Personally I don't think he understands the dating game....it's still a game like it or not

[wilfredketchum]

Yeah I'll agree that I don't understand "the game" at all. Why someone would go through the trouble of leading me on just to turn me down when I feel comfortable enough to ask them on a date is beyond me. It seems like I go through this more times than I would even like to admit, but at least I'm here now trying to figure it out.

With that being said, I texted her this morning to ask her out on a date Saturday night- dinner and a movie and maybe some drinks to be exact. I don't know, maybe I saw some glimmer of hope, but I immediately regretted it as soon as I pressed send. She hasn't responded yet and I don't imagine that she will.

Is there anything to shake that feeling of rejection? It's one of the worst feelings in the world to me but I keep putting up with it because I know its always going to be there. I always think its going to get easier but nope, that sting is still there.

[searock]

You should have called her instead of texting her. Anyway, here are the 3 options:

1. She doesn't reply, so you'll know for sure that she isn't interested.

2. She replies saying "I can't do Saturday", so you text her back: "Which day works for you?" and if she doesn't reply, you'll know she isn't interested.

3. She replies saying "I can't do Saturday", you text her back "Which day works for you?" and she replies with another date, OR she replies saying Saturday is ok, OR she replies saying "I can't do Saturday, let's make it XX instead". In all cases, you have a date.

[wilfredketchum]

Wow so she actually responded, albeit 10 hours later but I can't complain. And she actually explained herself a little bit better which helped clear some things up for me. She had been really stressed out with moving, having to get everything ready, and spending time with her family that she can't really give me a definite answer. Also, she might not even be in town Saturday. I want to run it by you guys first because well, like the title says, I'm not good with women. How should I respond?

The best I have right now is to tell her that the date isn't anything serious and if she needs to take care of other things first then that's fine, I'd understand. And also, I was thinking of asking her if she just wanted to come over and relax with a movie instead, since afterall she is going to be doing all this running around trying to get ready to move. There isn't really much room to change the date since I'm leaving Monday so that's the best I could come up with

[surfhb2]

Yeah I'll agree that I don't understand "the game" at all. Why someone would go through the trouble of leading me on just to turn me down when I feel comfortable enough to ask them on a date is beyond me. It seems like I go through this more times than I would even like to admit, but at least I'm here now trying to figure it out.

With that being said, I texted her this morning to ask her out on a date Saturday night- dinner and a movie and maybe some drinks to be exact. I don't know, maybe I saw some glimmer of hope, but I immediately regretted it as soon as I pressed send. She hasn't responded yet and I don't imagine that she will.

Is there anything to shake that feeling of rejection? It's one of the worst feelings in the world to me but I keep putting up with it because I know its always going to be there. I always think its going to get easier but nope, that sting is still there.

dont worry....I sucked at it too

I'll bet she calls back. Take your time though....wait a week and CALL HER. But if she doesnt reply Id just forget it

[searock]

Wow so she actually responded, albeit 10 hours later but I can't complain. And she actually explained herself a little bit better which helped clear some things up for me. She had been really stressed out with moving, having to get everything ready, and spending time with her family that she can't really give me a definite answer. Also, she might not even be in town Saturday. I want to run it by you guys first because well, like the title says, I'm not good with women. How should I respond?

The best I have right now is to tell her that the date isn't anything serious and if she needs to take care of other things first then that's fine, I'd understand. And also, I was thinking of asking her if she just wanted to come over and relax with a movie instead, since afterall she is going to be doing all this running around trying to get ready to move. There isn't really much room to change the date since I'm leaving Monday so that's the best I could come up with

As you were already told, you should ask her "What day works for you then?". If she still gives a vague answer, it means she isn't interested.

[HDBadger]

As you were already told, you should ask her "What day works for you then?". If she still gives a vague answer, it means she isn't interested.

Agreed with this.

OP, from everything you write, this girl sounds like a handful. I would put some thought into whether you actually want to date her.

[wilfredketchum]

Hey so I went out tonight and randomly saw her at one of the bars. This is after her saying how busy she was going to be and how she needed to spend her time with family and what not. It was obvious it was a bunch of bs that she was feeding me. I asked her what's going on with tomorrow (the night I asked her to go out) and she continued to give me the run around about what was going on. I decided just then to tell her that I thought it wasn't the best idea to ask her out, and just kinda left it at that.

To be honest, I was pissed to see her out after everything she had said to me about being busy. I didn't come off like I was angry, more like I was just fed up with perusing her. I want her to get the point though and was considering sending her a text explaining why I decided to bail on her. Is that a good idea? I know I'm going to run into her again eventually and I just want to let her know that she can't do that to me anymore

[searock]

So you never actually asked her what day worked for her.

Whatever.

I agree that she sounds flaky and disrespectful so it's not like it's a huge loss or anything.

[wilfredketchum]

There is no point in asking what day works for her. I leave Monday and she knows that.

[HDBadger]

Dude, this is why I suggested in the beginning you don't pursue this one. Flakey woman are pretty easy to spot.

From now on, you ask a girl out point blank. Ask her if a specific date and time works. If she says she can't do that time, ask her what time does work. At that point she either gives you an answer or she doesn't.

[searock]

From now on, you ask a girl out point blank. Ask her if a specific date and time works. If she says she can't do that time, ask her what time does work. At that point she either gives you an answer or she doesn't.

^^^ This.

[surfhb2]

To be honest, I was pissed to see her out after everything she had said to me about being busy. I didn't come off like I was angry, more like I was just fed up with perusing her. I want her to get the point though and was considering sending her a text explaining why I decided to bail on her. Is that a good idea? I know I'm going to run into her again eventually and I just want to let her know that she can't do that to me anymore

Why pissed? She wasnt malicious.

No...its not a good idea...it will make you look like a douchbag. Again....you guys just didnt click...no big deal...it happens all the time.

Maybe she thought you were wishy washy? Undecided? Who knows? Her thoughts on all this are just as valid as yours

[celestina]

How about a date just you and her next time, without "everyone"?