GF dropped bombshell last night

[blackiesharley]

Yeah true man, I think your right. problem is she don't know what she wants unfortunetly which to me is such a waste

I couldn't agree more. And the irony of it is that she may realize it when it's too late and you have moved on.

She'll be home again tonight, I've only just come back from friends that don't live locally. Hey on a positive note. I've stopped smoking today, friends think not such good idea. But my idea is to do something for me lol

Be strong when she get's home, don't pull a 'Blackie' and smother her. Just be cool.

Good for you for quiting smoking. Your friends are probably right, not a great time to quit but is there ever a right time? No, just do it. More power to you.

Sheessshhh... I was on the phone last night with a old friend from New York from about 9:30 pm to 5am this morning, just bullshitting about old times. I must have smoked an entire pack. (and drank a bottle of wine, ouch) LOL.

[rpglord]

Definitelly not a good time to stop smoking.How long have you smoked ? Coz if you are addicted "cold turkey" can bring anxiety and anger for 2-3 weeks,or even more,something you don't want at this time !
And I just have to say what I always say to any nice guy,just go to the club or mall or street or whatever and approach woman and have sex with ten random woman...that may change your perspective on things..before anybody give me shit how that is so shallow and amoral or whatever it really isn't.It really helps guy in situations like this.It also helps you "toughen up" and experience is always priceless in life.

[blackiesharley]

And I just have to say what I always say to any nice guy,just go to the club or mall or street or whatever and approach woman and have sex with ten random woman...that may change your perspective on things..before anybody give me shit how that is so shallow and amoral or whatever it really isn't.It really helps guy in situations like this.It also helps you "toughen up" and experience is always priceless in life.

I agree with that totally and thanks for saying it. You can't get over somebody until you get under somebody.

Screw this 'join a gym, get a hobby, get a new hairstyle, work on yourself, hang out with your friends, take a class, attend church, take time to heal, yada, yada, yada. Bullshit!

Go out and get laid, it's the best medicine. Proven fact, 99.9% effective. Welcome to the real World for those of you who disagree.

[halis123456789]

Brian,
You are now in that extremely uncomfortable zone in her mind where she thinks she can walk all over you. This will not be fixed by ration, logic, or talking it out.
My advice is to appeal to the more subconscious, primitive part of her mind. Immediately stop contacting her. Pretend that she does not exist in your life anymore, and start persuing other women, lots of other women.
If she gets jealous, you may be able to win her favor back quite quickly (at which time you might decide that you don't want her after all.) Even if she doesn't catch on to what you are doing in time, you will eventually find someone else, and it will be too late for her then.
All's fair in love and war. Be brutal. Be a man. Better yet, be a ****ing caveman.

[blackiesharley]

Brian,
You are now in that extremely uncomfortable zone in her mind where she thinks she can walk all over you. This will not be fixed by ration, logic, or talking it out.
My advice is to appeal to the more subconscious, primitive part of her mind. Immediately stop contacting her. Pretend that she does not exist in your life anymore, and start persuing other women, lots of other women.
If she gets jealous, you may be able to win her favor back quite quickly (at which time you might decide that you don't want her after all.) Even if she doesn't catch on to what you are doing in time, you will eventually find someone else, and it will be too late for her then.
All's fair in love and war. Be brutal. Be a man. Better yet, be a ****ing caveman.

halis123456789, you said what I was trying to say much better than I did. I agree with every word and that's not just lip-service, that's what I'm doing at the moment, hard and as painfull as it is. I have a big note on my telephone written in bold letters: 'PAWS OFF PHONE!!!' just to remind me.

The only problem I see with that is the fact that they jointly own a property which complicates things so he has to have some kind of communication with her.

[BrianK]

UPDATE i think there could be some change in situation maybe!

[blackiesharley]

UPDATE i think there could be some change in situation maybe!

Me too!

Brian, you and I once again are living identical lives down to the day.

Nice email this morning from New Orleans Gal. Wrote her back. I won't bore you with the details but it (my response) was polite, friendly but very 'lite.'

Two very nice emails from her since then. Have not responded yet but I will.

While you and I both have received good advice on this board, I think the best is the poster who said 'appeal to her primitive brain and forget she exists.'

Now I'm getting my hopes up again...shit. Just when I was accepting the fact that it was over.

EDITED: A thought for each of us... If 'they' are showing us a glimmer of hope and of course that's what we want, we as men MUST show restraint. Otherwise, we're gonna look like doormats and that's NOT what they want. In other words, let's not race to return their emails or calls and when we do let's not grovel and beg. Is it game playing? Yes. But that's the way it is. They can put a carrot on a string and tease us with it but we're not rabbits.

Just something for each of us to keep in mind. Remember the old rule: 'The less we say the less we can **** up.'

[BrianK]

Man i think i have become a doormat lol, but there does seem to be some hope now lol

[blackiesharley]

Man i think i have become a doormat lol, but there does seem to be some hope now lol

Yes you probably have become a doormat. That's NOT a personal put-down as I will be the first to admit that I have too. Love can bring the strongest man to his knees.

But nothing is carved in stone when it comes to ending and/or re-ignighting relationships except act exactly the OPPOSITE of how they expect us to act like and it can be a magic remedy. I've got two more emails from her right now I'm not even reading until tommorow. **** her. Yes, it's game playing but...???

'Your turn girl to sweat!' Cruel? Seems to be what they want...

[Gigabitch]

You guys are the Torture Twins.

[BrianK]

Yes you probably have become a doormat. That's NOT a personal put-down as I will be the first to admit that I have too. Love can bring the strongest man to his knees.

But nothing is carved in stone when it comes to ending and/or re-ignighting relationships except act exactly the OPPOSITE of how they expect us to act like and it can be a magic remedy. I've got two more emails from her right now I'm not even reading until tommorow. **** her. Yes, it's game playing but...???

'Your turn girl to sweat!' Cruel? Seems to be what they want...

I think u might have a point i think she expected me to go mad throughout all i've done is be calm and supportive it could be the OPPOSITE of the reaction she expected

[BrianK]

also she got very jealous of me talking to a girl on msgr and a bit of harmless flirting with it

[Gigabitch]

Excuse me, but where the hell does she get off? I'm glad you're not flipping out for her, because it sounds like she's getting into the idea of just jerking your chain whenever she wants affirmation that you still care.

The fact that you still care should be clearly evident by the fact that you haven't thrown her things out into the yard and set fire to them. You still open the door when she knocks. You still cook for her. This all makes sense if you're expecting that she'll come to her senses and come back to you, but it's starting to sound like she just wants to ride this merry-go-round of drama indefinitely.

She is really starting to piss me off.

[keeptrying]

This is getting interesting!!

[blackiesharley]

This is getting interesting!!

So Brian, what's the update?

My situation is in limbo right now, not good, not bad. Planning on going out this weekend and have a good time by myself. Who knows what could happen? Maybe something good.