My Boyfriend CUT UP my Thighs...(long)

[Analeigh008]

Hm. Do you have a screenshot of the "Petite Papsmillion" event to show us?...It's just so UNBELIEVABLE.

Although that can never equal shredded skin.

[Analeigh008]

^Sorry, Spoonandfork, that was petty. Now I feel bad.

[doppelgaenger]

Wow, lol, that was a while ago. I guess it's that time of the month (no pun intended) I mean for handing out infractions and such.

[Analeigh008]

"I remember my ex gf telling me about the effects of trauma after such an ordeal. You really shouldn't be so calm and understanding of your boyfriends actions."

I don't know if I'm traumatized. I think that's a bit over-dramatic. Hurt and worried, yes, but I'm not having nervous breakdowns or anything serious. I'm just wondering, why is it that everyone thinks it's so terrible that I'm trying to understand and forgive, rather than flying off the handle at someone I've loved for a while, and adored for even longer?...

"I'm sure you see this as several shades of grey, red, green but for the most part these things are very "black and white". Meaning easily solved. It's not as complicated as you'd like to think it is. You're only 16 and he's 17. You may THINK you know, but trust me, you have no idea of what you want and you have no idea of what "love" means. This, this is NOT love. This is simply a guy taking advantage of a confused young lady."

You're right...I do see several shades because he isn't just black and white, so how can his actions be? He is many "colors", and so am I. If solving these moral issues was so easy, obvious and clear, then every religion and culture on Earth would approach it the same. But they don't. Some things are taboo in our culture but not in other cultures, and vice versa. The only universal thing I can think of is "thou shall not kill"...Maybe stealing is another, but I'm not sure. if you know otherwise, please enlighten me, I'd find it fascinating.

You're right again - I really don't know what I want or what love is, but I'd like to find out. And although we have low points (VERY low points), I want to make SURE he isn't what I want before I let him go. And I don't see how he could be taking advantage of me...you make it sound like I'm a little kid compared to him...it's only a one-year age difference.


"Now I don't mean to bash you, but the help you really need will not be found here. This requires the work of a professional, and you do need to inform your parents. You and I both know why you're not telling them. It's because they'll do the right thing, which is separate you from him..... permanently, turn him in to the cops, and send you to get evaluated by a doctor. You both need some serious help, I just hope you get some before he "loves" you again or any other girl for that matter."

I'm going to have to talk to my parents about this sooner or later anyway because I don't have the proper supplies to care for the scars until they heal up in the house...I'll have to figure that one out...I just don't want anything bad to happen to him.

But thank you a lot. This entire time, until that post, I really hadn't realized I don't know exactly what love is. But I know sometimes he makes me feel something close, if that's not it.

[doppelgaenger]

Imagine what your next bf will think of those lovely scars.

[Analeigh008]

Yeah...I hadn't thought about that either. I'm so occupied with him I haven't thought about future boyfriends or husbands.

I guess if they don't heal completely over time (I probably won't be that lucky - scars usually leave marks on my skin), I'll have to explain them...

[doppelgaenger]

What about his next helpless victim?

[Analeigh008]

That all depends. On whether he seeks help or just doesn't do it again or something. Like I said, this is the first time he's done anything this extreme. I feared he may do it again or escalate - of course, because if he did and I'm still with him, he'll likely try it out on me again.

I tried making a point of at least trying to get him help being the better option before prison earlier but no one understood...they thought I was just being nuts for caring about him being helped still.

But that depends if he'll even do it. IDK. I may have to resort to an ultimatum.

[misombra]

eh you can't help him. you're young. work on helping yourself. don't stay caught up with guys like this. not quite sure what makes you inclined to put up with it.

the next girl doesn't need help either. he'll try it with her and she'll either leave him right away or she'll stay and put up with it. it's not under your control.

[Only-virgins]

To the OP, sorry you had the misfortunte of reading those gullible posts by Spooning Dork. He has been infracted for his comments and offending posts deleted. He is one infraction away from his second temporary ban so if he posts anything else even remotely objectionable please report his post and I will take care of the rest.

His posts aren't really much different from mine on this thread and I didn't get anything. I think at one point all the mods were out after Neo from what I remember. Kind of funny.

[Raven_Skye]

OK, since there's been a few pages since I gave my last comment, I'll go through them bit by bit and say what I think. My general opinion comes later, not per remark.

Analeigh, you say you can tolerate some pain.. but this is not how it works. You're not some puppet he plays out his desires on. IF this would ever work between you two, it's got to be more than you tolerating. You have to LIKE it. Or else it will start to feel like abuse anyway. See, I have sex sometimes with men that hurt me a little. Not even always because they get off on it, but because they know I like it. But I do like it.. I don't just tolerate it. I liked having my tattoo done, I like the feeling of getting pierced. I like a little pain. You, it seems to me, don't. So this wouldn't work for you. Plus, you're awful young to start with these things. Starting with this could color your idea and experience of sex forever.. watch out for that.

Before, he never did anything this serious. Just little things like trying to tell me what to wear, who to befriend, etc. Just being bossy. Most of the time I give in to this to keep the peace, I don't like arguing with him. The non-consensual things he's done weren't terrible either, just annoying. For example, being "all over" me after I tell him I don't feel well.

Now this gives more insight into his personality. If it's like this now already, it's not getting better. It is only to get worse. He's controlling in every aspect of his personality, not just the bedroom. Please don't just give in to these things. Seriously, a guy telling you what to wear etc, is ridiculous. Of course he can say that he likes those certain clothes best on you, but he is to accept it if you decide to dress differently. You are your own person, NOT his puppet. And honestly, no is no, as cliche as that sounds. If he's all over you, and you're not feeling well and don't want it, it's not much better than rape, and could lead to rape!!

Oh and for a funny note, I don't get your Twilight reference. I have never watched or read Twilight, how much I adore vampires, this is vampires-light. Not enough scary, blood or sex for my tastes. Plus, vampires that sparkle? Haha.

About things not beign black and white, I tend to agree, at first. Which is why I commented the way I did last time. But honestly, he hovers more to the black now for me, as in not only treating you bad that one time, but more times. Oh and compared to him, you do seem a little kid. Not because of the age, but because of the fact that say yourself that you have given in to him in many little things over the time.. everytime you do such a thing, it makes him that much stronger than you, have that much more power over you.

So, last of the posts read.

Please, sweety.. talk to him as much as you want to, I forgot to reply to the thing you said about him not wanting to talk about it today.. I'm sorry but he has no right to say that. He thinks he can hurt you like that, he needs to talk about it when YOU want to. Not when it is convenient to him. Say that, stand up for yourself. The least you deserve is an explanation! And I can't believe you don't already know that. Tell him you want to talk about it, if he doesn't want that when you do, you'll never talk to him again. Might be a bit of a white lie, cause it seems hard for you to say goodbye to him, but trust me, he won't say he'll never speak to you again then.

Also, you're just 16. This is not the way you want to start up with relationships and love. It can scar you for life, and I mean this not literally, but mentally.. if you take this much crap from him now, when you grow up and are in your 20s or so, you'll be a doormat to every guy that comes along that thinks he can use you and beat you around. Why? Because you won't say no, and will make up excuses for whatever he does. "it's not him, must be something I did wrong." The excuse of every abused woman out there. It isn't that way. No is no, if you don't want it it should NOT happen.

I had the feeling there was much more to say, but I can just hope you take my advice to heart. The more I read the more I think you should not stay with him. It will get you hurt worse. Get him help, fine, stay friends, if possible, fine. Keep an eye on him, fine. Just don't be his gf anymore.

Also, tell your parents. Yes, difficult, but in the end, your parents can offer you help and support no one else can. Took me years to realize.. I'm 12 years older than you too. I knnow what it is to feel you can't live without someone. My first ex, I lived and breathed him for 7 years. He dumped me, and now.. I am happy about that and ready to thank him for it, because he was bad for me. He'll never go anywhere, and I will. The first two years, I felt like I was dead on the inside though. But it gets better.

Take care.

[Mish]

His posts aren't really much different from mine on this thread and I didn't get anything. I think at one point all the mods were out after Neo from what I remember. Kind of funny.

You are not on parole like he was. He derailed one thread too many I'm afraid.

[RdHrshyKss]

i'm seriously scared about where the next generation is heading after reading this thread. tacks, knives, choke holds, twilight...i am speechless.

[Raven_Skye]

Haha, what next generation? All except for Twilight (which is rubbish) those things have been around for ages. BDSM etc isn't new.

[Junket]

Mockery

of

human

intelligence.