do i have to do it?

[UKboy]

Could be morality, or fear of pregnancy or wanting a commitment such as marriage. Any of those reasons or others I havent thought of.



Perhaps. But I don't think the OP has a problem with understanding that oral sex is still sex.



I'm afraid I just can't make the same leap you are suggesting here. I don't think that this gal should necessarily just 'do it' anymore than those 12-year olds I mentioned. Its a weak argument.



I agree with this. Which is why my first post to her was to make sure she wasn't doing anything she was uncomfortable with. However, she may have decided the relationship, or the potential for a future commitment, is worth the sexual compromise. She hasn't mentioned anything further for us to know if this is so or not, tho I completely agree that she shouldn't be doing anything she doesn't want to.

UKBoy, my main point to you was, and still is, that just b/c someone is giving blowjobs, or handjobs or whatnot, that does not mean they 'might as well' engage in full intercourse. Really, where does that argument take us? How about a boob grab? Or french kissing? Or any touching at all?

There are sexual alternatives for couples who, for whatever reason, are not ready or wanting full sexual intercourse. Ideally tho, this should be a mutual decision made willingly by BOTH partners in a relationship. Without pressure or coercion from either person, or their peers or anyone else.

I hope this is clear.

I still firm my stand in what i express but whatever it is,we all agree to disagree.

[J_mal]

Impress Orchid, I am in a similar situation, except my gf's religion doesn't allow us to do anything like kiss, hold hands, or anything else in public... this includes dating

Any who, I never pressured my gf. In fact, she was the one to first kiss me... i know it sounds weird but I didn't want to disrespect her religion and moral beliefs. And to tell you the truth I never expected her to kiss me. She also felt bad and "dirty" after kissing me, so I simply told her we didn't have to kiss if she didn't want to, but just as you said, she didn't want me to feel bad for not being able to kiss her b/c she said "if i were american you wouldnt have to worry about kissing me". The fact of the matter is, if your bf loves you, he WILL wait, especially for sex.

Long story short, we still kiss when we're alone and sometimes more, but I never ask her to do anything she doesn't want to. Trust me, this is EXTREMELY difficult, b/c we all get temptations.

Also just as someone said, go out in public areas, b/c we did these things that she considered bad when we were alone. Anyways, a relationship isn't all about sex, it's about getting to know each other & enjoy each other's company and grow feelings toward each other. Once YOU are ready, you can go to the next level, b/c just as I tell my gf, i am ALWAYS ready, I just have to wait a little longer for her ^^

[Only-virgins]

I get where you're coming from but don't make this relevant to the football team analogy.
I was referring to a girl who is open to anal and oral with her guy but doesn't allow him to penetrate her vaginal.
It makes her no better than the one who have sex.

I couldn't agree more. I hate these stupid bitches who have sex and go around saying they are not having sex because it was in the butt. Sex is sex. It doesn't need vaginal penetration. Now I have to be more specific I realize when I ask for a girl's past. "How many guys have you been with...this includes butt sex and oral"

[Illusional]

thanks a lot, all of you. i've read all what you wrote. thanks a lot. my bf said it like lightning88. he is very commited with me and its not like he doesn't love me. he love me deeply and i know that. he said that because he loved me, he want to do 'fun things' with me. its just that he can't wait until we're married, that way i won't get scared or anything.

i'd tell you anything you wanted to hear too if i were your bf.. he's getting the better end of the deal... all the pleasure with simple words that will keep you in check.

raverboy

[lightning88]

As i said,it's alright to want sex and be sexual driven.However,i believe people,irregardless of gender should understand the word "NO"

I aggree completly.

Any red blooded man who wanted sex but wasn't getting it would leave for a willing partner. I don't blame the guy for going nuts. Believe me, I know how that feels. But if you're sexually incompatible with your girlfriend you move on and find someone else. You don't pressure her and weasel her into something she's clearly not prepared for. You certainly don't manipulate her emotions to get it. That's the act of a cowardly little limp-dick boy.

I agree but I do think she should give him the chance to behave. If he loves her he will accept the no!

[UKboy]

UKBoy, my main point to you was, and still is, that just b/c someone is giving blowjobs, or handjobs or whatnot, that does not mean they 'might as well' engage in full intercourse. Really, where does that argument take us? How about a boob grab? Or french kissing? Or any touching at all?


I hope this is clear.

My point to you is,is someone pays school fees but yet not attend school,then they might as well be expel.

Should anyone be involve in arsenic,then they might as well be terrorist.

If a girl wants to be a slut,then she might as well peddle around the red light district.

See the line of logic?

It doesn't make you any better just because you commit something of the same nature but on a lower level.
Just because that guy commit arsen doesn't make him better than a terrorist.In the eyes of many and the law,he's just another dam terrorist.

[UKboy]

i'd tell you anything you wanted to hear too if i were your bf.. he's getting the better end of the deal... all the pleasure with simple words that will keep you in check.

raverboy

That's what alot of guys do and alot of girls buy into.
usually,only the older women can able to throw such bs out of the window and that is because,they're been there done that.

[IndiReloaded]

My point to you is,is someone pays school fees but yet not attend school,then they might as well be expel.

Should anyone be involve in arsenic,then they might as well be terrorist.

If a girl wants to be a slut,then she might as well peddle around the red light district.

See the line of logic?

Your logic, frankly, sucks. Are you calling the OP a slut, then?

Are you saying that someone who drinks alcohol is a drunk? And might as well behave that way? B/c one beer is no different from drinking the entire bar under the table?

Are you saying she *should* engage in full intercourse even tho she doesn't want to?

Think about what you are trying to say before you post, next time. The world is not made up of absolutes.

[UKboy]

Your logic, frankly, sucks. Are you calling the OP a slut, then?

Are you saying that someone who drinks alcohol is a drunk? And might as well behave that way? B/c one beer is no different from drinking the entire bar under the table?

Are you saying she *should* engage in full intercourse even tho she doesn't want to?

Think about what you are trying to say before you post, next time. The world is not made up of absolutes.

Your logic is warped one here and furthermore a wrong example.
One who drinks alcohol doesn't make him a drunk.
How is OP a slut?I assume you know the definition of slut so how does it make her relevant to a slut unless she go on her knees on every guys.

I'm sure that you could walk out that street,go up anyone and ask and they'll more or less agree with you that an arsenist is as good a terrorist and any kid who pays school fee but yet doesn't attend school is as good a drop out.
Period.

I never did say she should.Whether she wants to or not,is neither of us buisness.I'm just telling her that at this point,having done oral and probaly anal,they're all sex the same and it's pointless to go round kidding people that she haven't had sex but has had oral and anal.It's all the same,sex is sex and she had sex itself.

[lightning88]

Your logic is warped one here and furthermore a wrong example.
One who drinks alcohol doesn't make him a drunk.
How is OP a slut?I assume you know the definition of slut so how does it make her relevant to a slut unless she go on her knees on every guys.

I'm sure that you could walk out that street,go up anyone and ask and they'll more or less agree with you that an arsenist is as good a terrorist and any kid who pays school fee but yet doesn't attend school is as good a drop out.
Period.

I never did say she should.Whether she wants to or not,is neither of us buisness.I'm just telling her that at this point,having done oral and probaly anal,they're all sex the same and it's pointless to go round kidding people that she haven't had sex but has had oral and anal.It's all the same,sex is sex and she had sex itself.

she hasnt said anything about anal,thats your assumption,and she is still a vaginal virgin.

[IndiReloaded]

she hasnt said anything about anal,thats your assumption,and she is still a vaginal virgin.

Right^. In fact, she hasn't said anything about 'not having sex' either. Just that she isn't comfortable with more.

Whatever. I'm pretty sure she won't think much of your very young, inexperienced viewpoint UKBoy. So no matter.

[lightning88]

Right^. In fact, she hasn't said anything about 'not having sex' either. Just that she isn't comfortable with more.

exactly. She doesnt have to do more if she doesnt want to,its her right. And if he really loves her he will live with it until they marry.Thats all there is too it.

[vashti]

UKBoy - "irregardless" is not a word.

I'm just sayin'....