Marriage - How does it benifit men?

[doppelgaenger]

Married men also have far more expenses. I have a feeling that in the end the single guy has more dough in his pocket.

What is well earned is also well spent.

[The Wise]

cut the crap. I already told you for every situation like yours, there are many more where the guy stands to gain nothing financially.

Please cut your crap, and stop thinking of everything from a financial angle. Or are you really that hopeless?

If you really need to see it from a financial angle, you can think of all the money you'll need to spend on prostitutes once you're too old and all women in single clubs won't look at you anymore (unless you're a billionaire of course, in which case however why are you still worried about money?).

I agree however that the US laws about splitting money and properties with ex-consorts are ridiculous and unfair. But they are the by-product of US obsession with the law.

[Vinager]

And that is why there's abstinence.

[vashti]

I favor "American" laws about splitting assets after a marriage except in cases where one person is affluent (although Idon't believe all states are community-property states). Marriage is a contractual arrangement - like a business, and the spouse is an equal partner. Partners take gains and losses equally.

[misombra]

in new mexico you can be a total cheating, beating bastard and still keep all your shit.

fighting for things like that is rough. my friend is going through it now. she's entitled to half the guys stuff but doesn't even want to bother because it's too damn painful and he's willing to fight dirty. and since he was the bread winner he can afford a cut throat attorney to fight dirty for him.

[NeoSeminole]

The Wise says:

"Please cut your crap, and stop thinking of everything from a financial angle. Or are you really that hopeless?

If you really need to see it from a financial angle, you can think of all the money you'll need to spend on prostitutes once you're too old and all women in single clubs won't look at you anymore (unless you're a billionaire of course, in which case however why are you still worried about money?)."

ha ha, how lame. I was talking about a particular subject and you make the broad assumption that I think of everything from a financial angle? Good one, dumbass. Spare me your lonely bachelor rhetoric. I guarantee that I attract more girls than you and will have no problem finding a quality mate to settle down with.

[lesa]

There are a few men that really value the woman they are with and want no other to ever have her. They do desire marriage. That happened to my best friend. The guy did not want to risk losing her to another in the game of dating and courthing . I won't convince a guy to marry me. I want him to desire me like that all on his own.

[Sixpacj]

"There are a few men that really value the woman they are with and want no other to ever have her. They do desire marriage. That happened to my best friend. The guy did not want to risk losing her to another in the game of dating and courthing . I won't convince a guy to marry me. I want him to desire me like that all on his own."

Hm... to me your argument is flawed. So you're saying that your friend married that guy cause he proposed, and that is the only reason she is with him? Like if he hadn't proposed she wouldn't have "loved" him and been open to "courtship" from other men?

Like "she just wasn't that into him", he proposes, and suddenly she loves him?

What is so great about that? That is just shared insecurity, she doesn't think she is good enough to be loved, wants a "guarantee", wants "to be valued" (like without marriage, there is no "valuing"?). And he isn't sure of himself, doesn't really believe a good woman would love him for him, and somehow thinks that "marriage" will keep her from looking over where the grass is greener...

They're both in for a huge disappointment. Trust me, you don't want something like that.

Sorry, I don't mean disrespect, but to me your line of reasoning is BS.

[lesa]

"There are a few men that really value the woman they are with and want no other to ever have her. They do desire marriage. That happened to my best friend. The guy did not want to risk losing her to another in the game of dating and courthing . I won't convince a guy to marry me. I want him to desire me like that all on his own."

Hm... to me your argument is flawed. So you're saying that your friend married that guy cause he proposed, and that is the only reason she is with him? Like if he hadn't proposed she wouldn't have "loved" him and been open to "courtship" from other men?

Like "she just wasn't that into him", he proposes, and suddenly she loves him?

What is so great about that? That is just shared insecurity, she doesn't think she is good enough to be loved, wants a "guarantee", wants "to be valued" (like without marriage, there is no "valuing"?). And he isn't sure of himself, doesn't really believe a good woman would love him for him, and somehow thinks that "marriage" will keep her from looking over where the grass is greener...

They're both in for a huge disappointment. Trust me, you don't want something like that.

Sorry, I don't mean disrespect, but to me your line of reasoning is BS.

No disrespect but your interpretation of my statement is BS. How the hell did you deduct all of that from my comment?

I'll break my comment down later. I'm busy at the moment...

[Sixpacj]

I think I just failed to understand how getting married is an expression of the man valuing the woman (of course, it is), as opposed to being a GF and BF, where there BF doesn't value the GF...?

Also, the bit about not wanting to risk losing her smacked a bit of insecurity to me... I don't think marriage is any guarantee for that.

Anyways, awaiting further clarifications ;-)

[lesa]

I think I just failed to understand how getting married is an expression of the man valuing the woman (of course, it is), as opposed to being a GF and BF, where there BF doesn't value the GF...?

Also, the bit about not wanting to risk losing her smacked a bit of insecurity to me... I don't think marriage is any guarantee for that.

Anyways, awaiting further clarifications ;-)

They a fond of each other and are starting a new phase of life. A life of owning a home, having babies, and living together as life partners. Would you rather they be BF and GF to old and at that phase of life? Why are you assuming that the BF doesn't value the GF etc by my statements. What kind of argument are you doing?

Clarification comes later. :-) I have a feeling this is going to take a while to grasp.

[misombra]

six, don't worry. we've been over and over and over this and nobody has given even one good reason to get married.

[Gigabitch]

I think it should be a lot harder to get married and a lot harder to get divorced.

[lesa]

When a man is certain that he has found the one to spend his life with, he is no longer merely satisfied with just dating her and calling her girlfriend. He doesn’t want to BS and be BF/GF for years and risking her losing interest and moving on to a different phase of life without him. He knows if he BS on a high quality woman she can have another man who sees her for what she is worth—marriage material and not simply a girlfriend that “comes and goes”. He wants her for life. He is ready to end his bachelor’s days for this dream lady. He doesn’t want her to leave him. If she agrees and feels the same way then all is well.

The man that is unsure about his woman will stall (unless he has a very good reason such as being too young—early 20’s). He won’t care about his past beliefs on marriage. He won’t care about his possible natural tendency to polyamory. He would take a chance because he wants more than just a lover; he wants a lifetime of everything with this woman. That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. He won’t be satisfied at the BF/GF level with this woman.

There are men who say they are not ready or don’t want to marry. They have a girlfriend for years. Eventually they breakup and later he finds that one woman who he knows for sure he wants for life. He gets down to business and pursues her. If they are compatible and both love each other, he won’t waste time being just BF/GF. He proposes and marries within 1-3 years of knowing her.

It doesn’t mean that the man that has a girlfriend doesn’t value her. Surely he does or he won’t be with her. Most people start off as GF/BF so it’s not logical so say that is a bad thing. All I am saying is that when a man found the one, he doesn’t stalls for time, makes excuses, or needs ultimatums or persuasions.

[Lite]

Holy **** Neo. What about the WOMAN'S assets? I've had more than a few friends lose their shit in divorce. I for one made twice what my ex did. Stop ****ing assuming that the man has all the money and assets in the relationship. And PLEASE tell me the benefit for the female in marriage?

You've become such a smug mysogynistic asswipe recently. It shows in everything you post.

Actually, here in the US men's salaries are typically 30% higher than women in equal positions. The average median income for women vs men reflects this.

It isn't always the case, but more often than not it is. Everyone knows someone who lost something in a divorce. My ex had more college education than I did, and the potential to earn more money than I made. She did not take advantage of this at all, even with my encouragement. At that point I made 2x as much money as she did and the gap was growing yearly. Now I make more than 3x times as much as she did then. During the divorce I took 70% of the debt and split the sale proceeds of the house 50/50. This means I didn't even get back the inheritance money I used for the down payment before we were married. She also attempted to sue me for alimony.

When it comes to divorce, most men lose out. When it comes to child support and custody rights. Most men lose out. There are social inequalities on both sides of the argument, but the basic financial truth is that there is likely no real reason for men to get married.

That isn't misogyny, it's the unfortunate truth of our society as it sits right now. It doesn't make it right, it doesn't make it a support of, just a realistic evaluation of things.

Men should want to get married because they want stability in their life, and for someone to be there for them when times are hard. The truth is, most people just too intolerant to believe in "Until death do us part." Sure, a lot of people will say, "I'd never get divorced." The truth is, over 50% of them will.