Love, Drugs and BDSM...

[TheCafeTerrace]

Okay, maybe I'm just out of it with the generational thing, but my gut still says 'denial'. Afterall, she still chose to sit with/on you

OK, let's say for a second your gut was right, what could I do about it? I'm seeing her tonght at a mate's house. Do you think I should do/say anything?

[toknow]

Having sex before a relationship is like skipping to the last pages of a book. You both will miss out on a lot, that could have made your intimate moments much more pleasant and memorable. That's how you mess up not only a good friendship but a future relationship. I don't exactly know the dinamics in your "relationship", but that will define the outcome. Looks shaky at the moment, sex being involved in a frienship and nothing else, isn't stable at all. It's gonna be a tough one to save, prepare for a bumpy ride.

[TheCafeTerrace]

Let us know when you shag again. (cause you probably will) Should be interesting how it comes about this time and what excuses you give one another about not being good enough for one another to actually be in a relationship. :o)

Saturday night after going clubbing, then again on Sunday morning. The excuse we're giving each other is that in about a week we both move to opposite ends of the country. We'll just see how it goes I guess - we're both going to visit a mutual friend in Paris in the next couple of months or so, and in December we'll be going to Prague together hopefully.

[Maple1714]

That's cool Cafe...sounds like you are having fun! Also, you have future plans together too...hopefully something more than just sex and friendship will develop...if that is still what you want

I saw my ex again twice this past weekend. Big concert weekend here in the states. Phish played 3 nights....have you heard of that band? I looked super hot again and walked past him...he asked who I had come with. Then I saw him last night with his ex GF and my heart kind of sank for a moment. She is unique and a beautiful girl as well....she had her tongue split like a lizard! Anyway...I don't think they are together but she knows he will always have feelings for her so I think she uses him as an ego boost...blah blah. Anyway why did my heart hurt and why am I up way too early this AM thinking about him still? I left him....but I still want him sexually. Maybe the 2 of them would be down? Lol...
Apparently he is still asking a mutual friend of mine on a regular basis if I am still in a relationship etc...this is a never ending boring saga...ugh

[Maple1714]

Also - sorry for posting in your post Cafe. Did you ever get the PM I sent you? I replied back to you a while ago...

[TheCafeTerrace]

Oops, I only just noticed it when your message promted me to check the inbox.

Also - sorry for posting in your post Cafe.

Don't be sorry about that, I don't care.

Anyway why did my heart hurt and why am I up way too early this AM thinking about him still? I left him....but I still want him sexually.

Maybe it's not a rekindling of feelings for him, but a bit of jealousy. You feel jealous of this girl he's with because he was a good shag, but if you were to actually be with him those feelings for him would sort of disappear... Dunno, just an idea.

[Maple1714]

Yes, it was a tinge of jealousy...which I don't typically experience, but sometimes it happens. I know I am a beautiful woman and a mother and I am very confident in that. I guess it was just a blow to my ego to homework with his ex whom he wasn't over when we were together...who he may never be over. I doubt they are together now... It was just a show. It is was it is. I always have moments I weakness when I see him. He can't tell tho... And he always comes to me to say hello. Pretty sure he was rolling anyway yeatersday...it was 4pm.

[TheCafeTerrace]

4pm at a music festival isn't too bad though I suppose, with a bit of green or vallium or something to ease the comedown in the evening...

I guess you'll always feel that little tinge, even though you were the one who broke up with him. I had a ****buddy about 10 months ago who subsequently got a boyfriend. I never wanted to go out with her or anything, but every time I see her with that guy I can't help but think "what a twat" and then immediately want to **** her. She used to like it really rough and I can't help but imagine having really angry brutal sex with her... That's probably quite a depraved thing to think, but you learn to live with these things I guess.

[Maple1714]

We all live 5 miles from the venue and no one local camped....so semi music festival for him...but yeah day 3. He had been high all weekend...so I never know if that's the reason he is overly nice to me or what. All we did was party when we were tigether. I used to like his ex...until the whole dynamic btw us 3 was created. I guess after I left yesterday he also talked to my BF. I have almost the same vision in my head about angry sex when I see him. I really want to punch in the face for ever bullshitting me in the first place and then **** him to get all this tension out of the way....guess I will just have to suck it up and keep moving...since I'm def. not willing to risk losing the father of my child over him.

[lovemuffin]

I don't think you even need to use the word date. Make sure she knows its a date with physical contact. Kiss, grab her, whatever. You've already ****ed her so you should be comfortable kissing her or holding her hand or whatever. Just start trying to spend more time with her, and see if goes with it or pushes you away. I still think you should be after other girls, until you have something concrete established with this one.

I disagree. Sometimes sex happens. It doesnt mean people feel comfortable after or know how to behave or what's going on or what they're feeling. How old are you both and how long have you known each other now?

[TheCafeTerrace]

How old are you both and how long have you known each other now?

We're both 21, I've known her since I was 12 and she's been one of my best friends since we were about 15/16. Obviously we've both changed a lot since then, but we're very very close. I've just spent the entire day with her and a couple of other mates. We're meeting for one more coffee tomorrow before she leaves for London. She did mention today that she'd come to visit me up north for a house party I'm having in three weeks - sort of a house-warming/housemate's birthday type thing. It's probably going to be another MDMA-fuelled bonanaza to be frank. I imagine we'll probably hook up again then. I seriously don't know what to make of it, I think maybe the distance thing is what's putting her off getting into anything too serious. I've decided to try not to analyse the hell out of it and just live each moment as it comes.

[Wakeup]

I've decided to try not to analyse the hell out of it and just live each moment as it comes.

I wonder how many broken hearts you've left out there, those thinking that their vagina will garner them a relationship with you? Me thinks you doing what's quoted is going reap some Karma back on you for any broken, misguided chickie-poos you may have left in your wake.

May the ambiguous-inclined beware. ;o)

[TheCafeTerrace]

Well what's the alternative?

[Wakeup]

We already told you way back at the beginning of your thread. If you want her for more than sport fking then why would you sport fk her? There are far too many women that you don't love that you could be doing that with. No? You'd think that if you have true romantic feelings for her that you wouldn't use her for a warm wet place to masturbate and she wouldn't use you for a dildo with arms. Surely sex with her is more than just scratching an itch to you? No?

[Maple1714]

We already told you way back at the beginning of your thread. If you want her for more than sport fking then why would you sport fk her? There are far too many women that you don't love that you could be doing that with. No? You'd think that if you have true romantic feelings for her that you wouldn't use her for a warm wet place to masturbate and she wouldn't use you for a dildo with arms. Surely sex with her is more than just scratching an itch to you? No?

LOL, this is funny. Maybe he is taking what he can get? If all she is willing to have with him right now is a sexual relationship then he is just getting what he can. Cafe is a guy...what guy turns down sex b/c his emotions are involved?