First date idea - Let me know if this seems good

[MrLoyal]

I am actually male.

It's really telling when a person is standing alone in an argument and says, "nothing will change my mind". You are so convinced that you're right, despite your utter failure in every department.

You need to grow up before you think about settling down.

No dude. You like to think you're a male. You reek of feminine energy. Ever find yourself playing the gay male girlfriend whilst trying to date a girl? Haha. I bet every girl you initiate contact with you get friend zoned. Grow a pair you dud, I'm out.

[searock]

MrLoyal, even if what you say were true (which it obviously isn't), you are not successful with women.

Also, using "You're a girl!" as an insult just displays your ignorance even more blatantly.

[KingZ]

Okay, thread recap:

MrLoyal has a girlfriend with mental disorders. Claims to be super in love with her, but checks her phone regularly and finds out that she's been lying to him and generally behaving like an insane person. They break up.

He goes on a few dates, and gets confused when his dates want to pay their share.

After the dates, he gets quiet to let them "develop their feelings". (I lol'd just typing that)

Despite having zero success so far, joins Love Forum and tells every member (male and female) that they're wrong and he's got this figured out. Incidentally, the only person that agrees with MrLoyal is MrLoyal.

He leaves the forum, still confident in his situation so far.

Tonight he'll cry himself to sleep.

[XyOh]

I didn't realize there was like 4 other pages to this thread when I posted ... haha

I would like to comment that my boyfriend asked me out on a second date at the end of our first date. I was extremely thankful for this. This told me that he liked me and I was glad because I really liked him. If he didn't ask me out, I would presume it's because he either wasn't sure if he should or didn't want to. Later, if he decides he wants to, I assume he'll text me. If he never texts or calls me again, I don't call because I'm under the impression he's not interested. If he IS interested, well, I'm still not calling because he's not interested enough ... haha. I would also mention that I'm a very educated, confident, and stable female and if this is the type of woman you would like to pursue, this is how one feels about it.

Can a woman call the guy instead? Certainly. That's up to her. But now that I know that there are men that play mind games, I'm very thankful that I have my own protocol ... haha.

This protocol also includes having the man pay for the first date and possibly up to the third date. I'm all for feminism and after the third date, I prefer quid pro quo. I just think that falling to tradition (in the very beginning) eliminates a lot of confusion. If a female insists on paying it sends a confusing message to the guy. Yes, it's unfortunate that in this day and age that this still occurs, but it does. I would suggest that if you're a woman who wants things to be equal from the very beginning, then let the guy know that it's because you believe in equality. If you don't make this suggestion, he might think you're not interested. If you really want to see change between the roles men and women play, then it's best to follow up that change with an brief, one-sentence explanation. Why? Because there are women that insist on paying when they are NOT interested.

[KingZ]

Actually, I just realized something else.

MrLoyal claimed his girlfriend had "clinical depression", but was snooping through her phone and found out she had been lying to him.

Flash news, bud: your girlfriend wasn't lying to you because of depression. She was lying to you because you're the kind of piece of shit who is childish enough to think that pick-up artist techniques actually work, and being honest with you would have been more trouble than it was actually worth.

It's just more convenient for you to tell yourself that you're perfect and she had mental issues. Knowing how much of a self-absorbed shithead you are, she probably understood that honesty was pointless.

[TheEvilJester]

Wow! You guys are awesome. Ignoring the little side conversation that broke out, there was a lot of great advice here. I REALLY appreciate this. I was sort of feeling this myself, but wasn't too sure. Which is kind of funny, and also kind of nice.... because apparently I'm not as out of touch as I thought. I was actually kind of thinking that was too much for a first date, but I wasn't sure.

It seems most of you are saying we should just do something more like a dinner the first time. So, I will shoot for that, and keep my idea in mind for the second date if things go well. Some of you did say you prefer not to do a dinner as the first date, and I appreciate the input, but I am actually starting to lean towards that idea. I think it is good because a dinner can be cut short if we are finding we don't have chemistry, and it leaves us wanting more if we find we do. My best friend was actually kind of leaning towards the don't do a dinner as the first date camp. His reasoning was then you are stuck with each other for a couple hours if things don't go well. But, I'm actually starting to lean towards thinking that is okay. I think you ideally want an hour or two so you really get a sense of whether or not you two get along.

I mean, if you hung out for a half hour and decided to end the date there, how does that really give you time to get a sense for each other, and an idea of whether it is worth continuing to go out? I mean, unless it is so bad that you already know that quickly that you have no interest. LOL!

Here's a follow-up question.... How do I ask? I want it to be clear that I'm asking her out as a date, yet at the same time don't want to seem too forward. If she's not yet ready to call it a date, but does want to take things further by hanging out, I want to be able to give her that option. I agree that I don't like playing games, so before long I'd want us to at least decide if we are on the same page. But, I don't want to rush her either.

Thanks again, everybody!

[lalalita]

"Let me take you out this Friday. Dinner and drinks sound good?" (Obviously the date and activity can be changed to your liking)

[TheEvilJester]

Thanks again, Lalaita. I was also kind of re-thinking my stance a bit and thinking that a shorter date could be a good idea for a first date, especially in the case of somebody I've only met online. So, I started thinking a lot of people say "let's do coffee." Well.... I don't drink coffee. So, my thought was instead to suggest taking her out for ice cream. Similar idea to going for coffee, only I think that is even more fun. Plus, just like going for coffee, it allows for a quick get together to see how well you hit it off in person. So, I think that may be a good idea for a first date, making dinner the second (and first more formal) date. Then, my idea for the day/night in town could be a good third date, if all continues to go well.

Anyways, thanks again, everybody!

[searock]

Yeah ice cream works just as well :-). Keep us updated!

[TheEvilJester]

Oh, and for the record (as I mentioned on my other recent thread) we recently had another Skype session, at the end of which I finally got myself to ask her if she might like to go out for ice cream sometime soon.

She laughed in my face and said "Good GOD, no! Why would I want to go with YOU?" and then just hung up. I haven't heard from her since. But, at least I was finally able to combat my shyness well enough to actually ask. If I did it that time, I can do it again.

.....

.....

Okay, so that joke would work better if I han't used a similar one in my other thread. LOL! Hopefully some of you read this one first.

Part of that story was true. I DID ask her if she'd like to go out for ice cream soon. The other part, I lied. She actually said yes! We are going to be meeting in person for the first time on Friday. I don't really know if I will see her as just a friend, or potentially more, or how she may wind up seeing me, but I am at least interested enough to give it a chance and find out. But, most importantly, I am just really proud of myself. There was a time I never thought I could bring myself to do something like this.

[surfhb]

........Okaaaay

[smackie9]

Seeeeeee that didn't hurt now did it?

[TheEvilJester]

Well... my neck is a little sore.

I guess that could be unrelated, though.

[smackie9]

I see Mr. Loyal got the boot lol

[searock]

I see Mr. Loyal got the boot lol

Yay !