Havent made love for over 3 weeks but she says she still loves me

[xxazurexx]

I don't get it.

Maybe if I act like a bas**rd to my next bf and withold sex, he might lurvvvve me too.

[RdHrshyKss]

because I have been the soft heated one here, she has taken advantage of me.

couldn't have said it better. just remember that you will need to change just as much as she will. she will need to stop being so stubborn and needy and selfish, and you need to stop being so easily taken advantage of and manipulated.

[girl68]

RDhrsy: has spoken nicely to you and you say you understand but nothing has led me to beleive you will actually do antying other than continue to act like a pussy. I decided to take a harshed more blunt approach in attempt to make you smell the coffee as they say.

I'm sorry you found it too harsh. Half the problem is you're a wuss, she knows this and has played on it for the last 8 months. Come back with a real update on how the good long eye opening talk went.

[Albinoni]

RDhrsy: has spoken nicely to you and you say you understand but nothing has led me to beleive you will actually do antying other than continue to act like a pussy. I decided to take a harshed more blunt approach in attempt to make you smell the coffee as they say.

I'm sorry you found it too harsh. Half the problem is you're a wuss, she knows this and has played on it for the last 8 months. Come back with a real update on how the good long eye opening talk went.

She's been a great help for sure without a doubt, so how can I prove to you and RDhrshy that I will make sure changes are made, and no I wont act like a pussy, I suppose you got harsh cause you care for me and dont want to see me get hurt or used.

[RdHrshyKss]

take the advice that we've given you and put it into practice. talk to her like you said you would. call her up, tell her that you need to talk to her about some stuff and it would mean the world to you if she could take the time to listen. set a night to do this, when the daughter is out or whatever because she shouldn't be involved in this at all. then tell her all the things that you've said to us. let us know how it goes.

[Raze]

alright, so you guys have a long enough history that texting her daughter isn't weird. i recant my earlier statement.

No, texting her daughter is still weird in my book.

you really are. what i am trying to tell you is to stand your ground and not allow her to manipulate situations to go her way all the time. if her point is valid and is legitimate and you realize she is right, then you should accept that. but if she is just arguing for the sake of saving face, you need to stay firm and argue it out with her until she is made to look like a complete fool. if you give in to her antics things will NEVER change.

Ummm... yeah, I think I know why she is using you or being a shitty partner to you, or both.. because she can without much trouble I'm guessing.

RDhrsy: has spoken nicely to you and you say you understand but nothing has led me to beleive you will actually do antying other than continue to act like a pussy. I decided to take a harshed more blunt approach in attempt to make you smell the coffee as they say.

I'm sorry you found it too harsh. Half the problem is you're a wuss, she knows this and has played on it for the last 8 months. Come back with a real update on how the good long eye opening talk went.

She's been a great help for sure without a doubt, so how can I prove to you and RDhrshy that I will make sure changes are made, and no I wont act like a pussy, I suppose you got harsh cause you care for me and dont want to see me get hurt or used.

You don't have to prove anything to no one but yourself. People are just giving you advice. You don't have to prove anything. I think you're just a people-pleaser and that's why she's taking advantage of you and acting like a bitch. You're being a lil bitch.



My money is that he won't do it.

[Albinoni]

take the advice that we've given you and put it into practice. talk to her like you said you would. call her up, tell her that you need to talk to her about some stuff and it would mean the world to you if she could take the time to listen. set a night to do this, when the daughter is out or whatever because she shouldn't be involved in this at all. then tell her all the things that you've said to us. let us know how it goes.

Like I said the most important area here that we both need to improve on is our sex life this is vital and I can blame my self here for too much masterbating but she can be also blamed here for not giving me any 4play and being downright selfish, so we are both at fault here. Like I said to you when it comes to mkaing love its all rushed, eg me doing all the work on her, she gets wet and horny, on goes the condom, bang bng she comes or climaxes in about 3 mins or so, than she gets dry and its all over and I am left with nothing. But there is no intimacy, kissing, feeling, touch etc etc to get both of us aroused or worked up during sex. To me 4play is a very important thing before sex no matter what anyone says. And I know she gets very upset if I dont come, but I have also come a few times before with her and during those times (not all) it involved a bit of 4 play from here.

She cannot be stubborn anymore and has to wake up to reality and not act like a 3 yr old havnig things her way. If she wants me to come than she also has to play her part and not just thing I am some F machine to be used. Who knows prob when I stop asking her out and seeing her (like I said the ball is in her court now) apart from me sms'ing her she might get horny or be longing for me an my company due to her missing me, and I know already she is. Once things in our sex area of this relationship works out good for us both, and I am able to come (and I know I can) this will help blossom our love life and we will both be happy, but like you and others have said she also has to play her role and not be a selfish person, plus I have myself to blame too for being the weak link in the chain. And that talk about my not being able to come because I find her unattaractive is just some feable excuse to cover herself, if I found her un attractive than I would not of asked her out.

Making love/sex is a beautiful thing, lets take our time at doing it and keeping it that way, than to rush it and its all over in 5mins or so. At the end of the day I am making love to a woman that I love very much not to a prostitute.

[Albinoni]

Ok I need some small advice here pls. This week I will prob catch up with one of my other lady friends (Known her for 10yrs and shes just a good friend) she also knows I have a new gf or gf and is keen to meet her, but I am bit confused here, should I ask and invite my gf or leave her out of it and just meet up with my ladyfriend, actually will be her and another friend of hers, so 2 of them. But like i said my main aim now is to not ask her out anymore, I've done all that share in the past so the balls in her court, simple, the only thing i do is still keep in contact by phone or sms.

2. She told me on the phone few days ago that she loves me and misses me alot, when she says she misses me, should I also reply and say to her that I miss her or simply dont say a word and just carry on talking.

[RdHrshyKss]

1. if you feel like your relationship is at the point where your gf would be upset to find out that you hung out with another girl without telling her first, then you should casually bring it up to her in conversation. if she expresses concern, just tell her she is an old friend and that she is more than willing to come along with you and meet her. that should cover that.

2. if you feel like you miss her, then say you miss her. if you saw her yesterday and you don't then say something neutral like "thanks honey, it means a lot to me when you say things like that cause i know that you care." or something else like that. just be honest. don't play silly as far as semantics go.

[Albinoni]

1. if you feel like your relationship is at the point where your gf would be upset to find out that you hung out with another girl without telling her first, then you should casually bring it up to her in conversation. if she expresses concern, just tell her she is an old friend and that she is more than willing to come along with you and meet her. that should cover that.

2. if you feel like you miss her, then say you miss her. if you saw her yesterday and you don't then say something neutral like "thanks honey, it means a lot to me when you say things like that cause i know that you care." or something else like that. just be honest. don't play silly as far as semantics go.

Sorry I think youve missed the point re No1 above. This girl I know is a good family friend and Ive known her for over 10 yrs, she just a friend and thats it nothing more or less, but she and prob with a groip of ladies will be going out next week for dinner, and she asked if I would like to join them. She knws I also have a gf and has asked me to introduce her to her. But I know my gf wont mine be going out with her , why because like I said shes just a friend of mine and Ive knows her for over 10yrs plus shes married as well and she also knows the rest of my family.

[Albinoni]

1. if you feel like your relationship is at the point where your gf would be upset to find out that you hung out with another girl without telling her first, then you should casually bring it up to her in conversation. if she expresses concern, just tell her she is an old friend and that she is more than willing to come along with you and meet her. that should cover that.

2. if you feel like you miss her, then say you miss her. if you saw her yesterday and you don't then say something neutral like "thanks honey, it means a lot to me when you say things like that cause i know that you care." or something else like that. just be honest. don't play silly as far as semantics go.

well i did tell her on the phone that i missed her too and i hope it was the right thing to do.

[girl68]

Ok I need some small advice here pls. This week I will prob catch up with one of my other lady friends (Known her for 10yrs and shes just a good friend) she also knows I have a new gf or gf and is keen to meet her, but I am bit confused here, should I ask and invite my gf or leave her out of it and just meet up with my ladyfriend, actually will be her and another friend of hers, so 2 of them. But like i said my main aim now is to not ask her out anymore, I've done all that share in the past so the balls in her court, simple, the only thing i do is still keep in contact by phone or sms.

2. She told me on the phone few days ago that she loves me and misses me alot, when she says she misses me, should I also reply and say to her that I miss her or simply dont say a word and just carry on talking.

What you need to be doing is stop the games and have THE serious talk. The one where you discuss your needs and how they are being totally ignored. The one where you bring up how she doesn't listen to your concerns and instead ignores the problem. The one where you suggest what you're doing (decreasing masturbation) and suggest the things that she do (like foreplay) that might help your member get its release. The games are stupid unless you've talked it all out first,.

[Albinoni]

Thank you Girl for your help and concern here and I am sure you can feel my frustration re the above matter, I am sure if you were in my shoes you would feel the same as well. Like I said I also have my faults as well and I am willing to make and effort and fix em, simple, but at the same time she should as well and not have this as a one way thing where the finger is pointed at me and thats it. Communication and listening is a very important thing in any relationship and it allow each individual to listen to others needs. I might even speak to some of my female freinds re this prob or issue and see what they say.

But I'm sorry any girl or girfriend that wants to have sex or make love with me and who dont give me 4play or seduve me and expect me to do all the hard F work and they do sweet F all, than you must be kiddin me, seriously.

Love/Sex is a 2 way thing and will always be that way.

Forgot to add, the next time she sms me and says to me that she loves me very much, I feel like saying back to her via sms, I love you very much too but remember one thing "Actions speak louder than words" saying one thing is something, doing it is another.