BF ego problem after we wrestled

[Tiay]

holy shit! well, that seals it. ANY chance he had depended on him apologising profusely and begging for forgiveness.. instead of trying to cover up. Stupid boy.

Any break up is sad, but you are truly better off without him. I'm sure he had good qualities too, and you must've had good times with him. But his behaviour is not acceptable and I'm glad that you are rid of him!

[Mish]

"No way! If you were here now i wouldnt be responsible for my actions and if you think you got your ass kicked yesterday that would be nothing compared to what i'd do to you now!" and I hung up and took the phone off the hook.

It sounds better here than it did over the phone b;/c by then i was crying so hard i'm not sure if he even heard it right.

I just feel like such a dope right now.

Poor Jen

What you need now is some nice hot chocolate with a bubble bath when alone and a LOT of company when out. 10 Months may seem like a long time, but in a greater scheme of things you haven't invested a lot and it's better you find these things out sooner rather than later.

Hehe, I liked that last line you said to him. I thought it was very well timed

[Junket]

Like I said.

A bullet to the head.

I'll load your gun for you...

[IndiReloaded]

He's just very, very immature. And seems unable to actually be proud of you & what you've accomplished.

Giga already said it, but just to add weight: this is very disturbing in a relationship. You don't want to invest energy in someone who can only think of themselves this way. This is the kind of fellow who will resent if you do better than him on an exam, get a college degree, or (heaven forbid) a higher paying job.

Steer clear of this guy, he has a lot of growing up to do. Let him be someone else's Project.

[Junket]

Y'know what's cool about all of this?

She literally kicked his ass.

Multiple times.

Now she's just gotta do it emotionally, too.

Make that bitch hurt Jen!

[anachronistic]

I think Jen has come to a conclusion with this guy.

Jen, you're a girl with your head on your shoulders, you can stand for yourself, and I'm sure you're really beautiful! Don't let this garbage get you down, there are many opportunities for you!

[alidile]

nope i can be super feminine but i'm also soooo aggressive... i LOVE to fight all guys, i don't care if i win it's just a matter of me getting my aggression out and i'm really slim too... if he can't take it tell him to go away. literally. like that should be a sign to get outta there if he's gonna be that retarted about things.
hey, on the bright side, if you stay together and he ever does get physical with you you can kick his ass from here to timbuktu

[jenster]

nope i can be super feminine but i'm also soooo aggressive... i LOVE to fight all guys, i don't care if i win it's just a matter of me getting my aggression out and i'm really slim too... if he can't take it tell him to go away. literally. like that should be a sign to get outta there if he's gonna be that retarted about things.
hey, on the bright side, if you stay together and he ever does get physical with you you can kick his ass from here to timbuktu

Hey everyone...First, I just want to say THANK YOU so much for all your kind words while all this stupid drama was going on...

i know i dont know any of you personally but the support i found here (and advice) has made a world of diference and helped my confidence a lot.

I didnt feel like i could talk to my friends about this b/c they had no idea about the wrestling matches and I didnt think it was fair to humiliate him by telling people we both know that he was getting his butt kicked by his 130lb girlfriend (NOW i feel a little different about that , but being able to vent here was a huge relief.

It was also nice to know that there are sisters out there like Giga and alidile that are also feminine but strong women who can take on a guy if it comes to it. And you guys who responded--even those who seemed, well, unusually turned on by my judo skills--clearly showed more maturity and understanding than my BF. (You give me hope i can maybe meet the RIGHT guy someday

For now, I think i have to resist the efforts he's making to "talk things out". He's left multiple messages on my machine, and i'm afraid at some point he's going to just show up at my apt. unannounced. I have NOT called him back, even tho' i';m tempted to, just to tell him to stop calling and that we're broken up for good.

But it is difficult b/c he's saying things like "I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding" and "i didn;'t mean to hurt you--i just thought we were still wrestling", and all this stuff...but i KNOW what happened, and there's NO WAY he could have mis-understood what i was doing. I had stopped the fight to PROTECT HIM--that's what gets me so mad!

anyway, i'm not sure how to "officially" break up w/him now, or even if i need to. I sort of think I do, at least to bring "closure" (i hate that word, but still...) Mostly i just want him to stop calling me all the time (oh--and he ALSO keeps asking me not to tell anyone about our wrestling contests--which is really all i think he cares about).

[anachronistic]

But it is difficult b/c he's saying things like "I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding" and "i didn;'t mean to hurt you--i just thought we were still wrestling", and all this stuff...but i KNOW what happened, and there's NO WAY he could have mis-understood what i was doing. I had stopped the fight to PROTECT HIM--that's what gets me so mad!

anyway, i'm not sure how to "officially" break up w/him now, or even if i need to. I sort of think I do, at least to bring "closure" (i hate that word, but still...) Mostly i just want him to stop calling me all the time (oh--and he ALSO keeps asking me not to tell anyone about our wrestling contests--which is really all i think he cares about).

just cut all contact. change your number if needbe. if he comes to your apartment, don't answer the door. infact, if he comes all the way over to your apartment, get your friends involved. let them know what happened.

[vashti]

I think it is fine for you to tell him you don't want to see him anymore because he was more concerned about winning than playing fair. It would be an act of kindness to allow him the opportunity to learn from his mistake. Just don't let him worm his way back in.

[Gigabitch]

For now, I think i have to resist the efforts he's making to "talk things out". He's left multiple messages on my machine, and i'm afraid at some point he's going to just show up at my apt. unannounced. I have NOT called him back, even tho' i';m tempted to, just to tell him to stop calling and that we're broken up for good.

It sounds to me like he's still trying to win. You are possibly the first girl who has ever challenged him, ever criticized him, ever (gasp!) made him worry that he might, just maybe, be rejected.

I expect he'll be quite dramatic about trying to win you over. If he actually cared deeply about you, this would be moving, but I suspect it will all be about "no girl breaks up with me".

If you decide to take this guy back, jenster, be prepared for an endless power struggle. He'll compete with you and it will make him ugly. Guys like that end up cheating.

You sound like a catch. You can get a guy who would find all of your accomplishments and strengths to be irresistibly attractive. You don't have to settle for less.

[jenster]

It sounds to me like he's still trying to win. You are possibly the first girl who has ever challenged him, ever criticized him, ever (gasp!) made him worry that he might, just maybe, be rejected.

I expect he'll be quite dramatic about trying to win you over. If he actually cared deeply about you, this would be moving, but I suspect it will all be about "no girl breaks up with me".

If you decide to take this guy back, jenster, be prepared for an endless power struggle. He'll compete with you and it will make him ugly. Guys like that end up cheating.

You sound like a catch. You can get a guy who would find all of your accomplishments and strengths to be irresistibly attractive. You don't have to settle for less.

Thanks, Giga...

I cant at this point see letting him back into my life. But i do suppose I at least owe him the courtesy of breaking up w/him in person after 10 months of seeing each other.

I doubt at this point he'd be interested in any more confrontation.

[Tiay]

interesting, something similar happened to me once;

a guy in my class groped me. Later he denied it. and hadn't really told anyone.. so.. I started thinking I had imagined it, or that it somehow wasn't real. Later I confronted him again, and then he semi-addmitted it, but still tried to weasel his way out of it. ie, "misunderstanding" and so on.

don't let it get to you. You KNOW what happened. You know it, you didn't imagine it. There was no misunderstanding. He knew what he was doing. Even if he was pissed, it's not acceptable.

[jenster]

interesting, something similar happened to me once;

a guy in my class groped me. Later he denied it. and hadn't really told anyone.. so.. I started thinking I had imagined it, or that it somehow wasn't real. Later I confronted him again, and then he semi-addmitted it, but still tried to weasel his way out of it. ie, "misunderstanding" and so on.

don't let it get to you. You KNOW what happened. You know it, you didn't imagine it. There was no misunderstanding. He knew what he was doing. Even if he was pissed, it's not acceptable.

I'm sorry that happened to you, Tiay. it's totally unfair.
and I agree w/you i'm not going to let him alter what happened. It's makes me extra b/c the fact is I had HIM in incredibly vulnerable positions at least twice during the match and if i wanted to have hurt him i could really have done some damage.

Both times he was down on the floor clearly struggling just to get back up, but i let him catch his breath and get to his feet both times.

Then he attacks me from behind while back is turned? what kind of person does that?

[Gribble]

what kind of person does that?

The kind of person who beats animals and children. The same spineless coward who can't even meet a real man's eyes.