Nice Guys vs. Jerks

[vashti]

Quite outgoing, why's that?

Ahem...

"I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen. " That's Henry's signature.

[Henry123]

Quite outgoing, why's that?

Well it just seems that people with outgoing personalities naturally tend to have more social experience than those who arnt.

Yes Vashti
Yeah I like talkative girls. I think its cool!

[VashTN]

Alright guys, I just thought I would give you all an update as how things are going. I've been working on my talking and humor, and I have to say that it's really starting to pay off. I'm not too good at it yet, but I talked to her today. I was really confident. I feel like a whole new person. I've started reading interesting things on the internet, in books, in magazines. I've started Daito Ryu which is awsome! I started working out and my body is starting to look and feel great. My parents are happy with me, school is going great! And, this whole cocky thing, is slowly working even though I still need to work on it. A lot!

Today we started the competition and she is on my team. I forgot how I asked her, but it came out great and she laughed and she said yes! I also told her about Daito Ryu and it turns out that I just go lucky, super lucky, because her dad is a huge martial arts buff. He's taken Judo before and was going to sign her up, but she asked him to go where i'm going after I told her! All I want to say is thank you everyone for all your help. Thank you everyone here on loveforum for helping me, and thank you so much to Venacava and GrkScorp for helping me with this one!

[Henry123]

I was thinking of taking Daito aikijujitsu as well.

I'm just been trying to work on looking strange girls in the eyes to help overcome my anxiety. I should work on my cocky and funny as well. For the last two days I've been working up and building some muscle. Just to be more of an eye catcher.

[VashTN]

You get anxious when you look at girls? Why? It's not like they are going to attack you. But Daito Ryu is amazing! I can't wait to advance in it. For once I feel like i'm the main character of my own video game. Plus I have someone to join me!

[enterprise]

You get anxious when you look at girls? Why? It's not like they are going to attack you

Logic won't take away anxiety.

[Freeway3137]

I learned a lot. Props to all you guys! All it is about is just don't care what other people think of you... Or in other words, be confident! woot woot!

If you have trouble with the girl thing, start by talkin to other people and build confidence through them (example: make small talk with customers at work or something) and then your ready for the big leagues!

[Cyrus255]

Ehhh, I'm tired of the nice guys vs. jerks arguments.

IMO, a jerk who's really a nice guy deep down gets the girls and KEEPS them.

Basically, keep her guessing for the first few months. Works everytime. Though maybe for more desirable guys, perhaps. Getting mushy on a girl straight from the start has NEVER worked out well for me.

Just my personal experience.

[jurupa]

I was thinking of taking Daito aikijujitsu as well.

I'm just been trying to work on looking strange girls in the eyes to help overcome my anxiety. I should work on my cocky and funny as well. For the last two days I've been working up and building some muscle. Just to be more of an eye catcher.

Henry the best way to work on looking into girls eyes is to look into people you know when you talk to or when they are talking to you or in a group. Once you can do this with ease, start looking at peoples eyes when you are at the cash register buying something. These people will not bite you and most are quiet use to people looking into their eyes. Once you do this with ease start looking into girls eyes as you walk by them, but don't make a huge thing out of it, ie turning your head.

But don't rush this, and take your time and you be able to do this trust me. Just be happy that you don't have a bunch of eye balls staring/looking at you, becuase with your disorder, it will give you a lot more problems than you have now. But it is possible to over come your disorder tho and it seems your on the path to do it. But also keep in mind everyone is handicaped in some way, some are more obivous than others.

[Henry123]

Henry the best way to work on looking into girls eyes is to look into people you know when you talk to or when they are talking to you or in a group. Once you can do this with ease, start looking at peoples eyes when you are at the cash register buying something. These people will not bite you and most are quiet use to people looking into their eyes.

Hi Jurupa thanks for your advices. I'm actually okay with eye contact with friends and the person at the cash register (only because there is a sense of purpose).

Its much harder with ladies on the street though. It feels like a knee jerk reaction to look away. It feels my soul is being looked through (if that makes any sense) and it feels like I'm being sexual agressive. For some reason it makes me feel embarass or inappropriate.

[jurupa]

I know the feeling your talking about. When you look into the eyes of a girl that is a stranger, say "good morning or afternoon etc" to her or just smile when you do. It will get rid of the feeling and you won't look sexual agressive either. But don't feel embrassed about it. As I am sure you know part of your social disorder is that you get a good case of fear that you constantly fight. Most females when you just smile at them will smile back and nothing bad will happen, they will not think your being sexual agressive but friendly and being nice.

Just keep in your mind that most females will not bite you if you smle at them.

[Gigabitch]

God, if I could only tell you what a huge turn-on it is to realize that somebody is looking into my eyes on purpose, trying to connect. Timing is important. Staring is not okay.

The eye contact thing... vital. You've got to practice, Henry.

[Junket]

Timing is important. Staring is not okay.

You were probably referring to a situation where two people don't really know eachother that well, but anyway, for a while, in conjunction with the hand game I played with Ames, I'd often just kinda look at her, till she looked over and ask "what?" and I'd just smile, say "nothing" and look ahead.

I was always starin' at her. She gets uneasy when somebody, even me, looks into her eyes for too long.

Finally though, when we were lyin' in my bed exhausted, I was beginning to fall asleep (which was difficult considering I had this beautiful girl in my bed who I tried spending every waking moment with before the end of AmeriCorps), when I opened my eyes I caught her starin' at me, but quickly looked away. I couldn't help but feel smug.

::sigh::

[vashti]

Frasbee's posts make me all warm and gushy.

[misombra]

aaaaaaaaaaah frizzzzz.

he's a such a nice, playful guy.