I've been thinking this over for a couple of days, and since it's so hard to keep my head straight I figured I should really look for some outsider advice.
I've been with my girlfriend for two years now, and recently moved in with her (about two weeks ago). She's an incredible girl, very smart, attractive, caring, everything I could ask for and more. Since meeting at university we've just grown closer and closer. I also feel like I can trust her with anything, which is why this feels so odd.
Two days ago she was avidly texting someone back and forth on her mobile for most of the evening. She rarely ever uses her phone that much, but I didn't think much of it at that point. She then told me that she was texting an old friend called Sam who she used to meet up with occasionally at the start of uni (before we were dating). She said they used to go for drinks together and were good friends, and that he'd like to meet up again. She asked if I'd be okay with that, to which I replied that of course I would be. Why wouldn't I be? That's when alarm bells started ringing because for some reason she was acting as though I might have reason to be worried...
She then said that she would probably meet him at the pub she used to work at, meet all her old work friends at the same time, and go out for the night with them all. I said that sounds great, but where would you stay for the night? (It's an hour and half's drive away). She hesitated for a bit, then said she could probably stay at her friend Kate's house, since she'd done that before and she would be going out with them too. Sounded plausible, but... something felt so wrong. I had that gut feeling, and she was acting very strange about it all. So that night I did something awful.
When she went to the bathroom before bed, I looked through her text messages. I felt awful doing it, but I'm so glad I did. It was Sam she was texting, but there was no mention of meeting at her old pub and seeing her other friends. They were planning to meet up in a completely different city for a night out together, with no one else. He also said that he'd have to tell his girlfriend that he would be away on work related business, and said "How would you swing this with your other half?" She replied: "Simple. Just tell him I'm catching up with an old friend. He's cool with things like that and wouldn't mind if I stay out. Wouldn't your GF be okay with it then?" There was also another comment that stood out where my GF said "It's lucky I have an innocent face, since I can get away with anything!" And he replied with: "It might look innocent, but I know better "
So I pretty much freaked out. I bottled it up and refused to jump to conclusions, but it kept me awake all night. The comments about "innocence" look really bad. If she's staying out for the whole night, where the hell is she going to sleep? A hotel? Eugh, that's an awful thought. But the last text she sent, which ended with her saying "Wouldn't your GF be okay with it then?" Makes me think that maybe she really is looking at this as just a friendly catch up and night out. Even if he isn't. Why else would she say that? Of course his GF wouldn't be okay with it he plans on cheating on her. It's also worth mentioning that his texts explicitly stated that he's fed up with his GF.
It could be either/or. But why would she lie about the details? I thought I could trust her with anything, and she's feeding me false information about this night. It isn't planned yet, just an idea. And I know a lot of girls love the idea of flirting but never take it further than that. As far as our relationship is going: It's still as great as ever. We openly express our love for one another, dream of the future, constantly make plans, and I haven't noticed anything that suggests she's having second thoughts about us. So right now, I'm inclined to think that it's innocent, and she just wants to meet up with him as friends. I may even be able to convince her to take me along to meet him too, so I can get to know some more of her friends. The question is, what do I do now?
To get more information about whether this plan will be put into motion, I would HAVE to keep checking her phone. And I HATE that thought. But when she's lying to me about this... I don't know. I can't confront her yet, because not only is there not solid enough evidence, but I'd have to admit to looking through her text messages. If this does go further, and I find out that she definitely is going to sleep with him behind my back, then I'll be fine with confronting her. I wouldn't care if she knows I read her messages, because she would be about to do something far worse.
Sorry for the wall of text, it's mainly a way to get my thoughts written out. If anyone can offer some thoughts or advice I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.