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Thread: Will she cheat?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    4

    Will she cheat?

    My gf and I are very much in love, however I wonder if she will cheat as I have seen many indicators that she might.
    Before we started officially dating we were sleeping together and were fairly close. At this time she didn't want a boyfriend and there were a few times when she felt that we were getting too close and instead of talking to me about it, went out and started dating or just fooled around with other guys and then told me about it or made sure that I saw it. She now says that she did this to push me away.
    I know that she has had some sort of sexual relationship with nearly all the guys that she has known. She has told me this a number of times.
    She feels that handjobs and oral are the least intimate things you could do with someone. (If you asked me, I would say the least intimate thing you could do is shake their hand.)
    She believes that it is acceptible to be somehow sexually involved with a number of people at once, just as long as they all know about eachother.
    Recently she has been telling me of specific guys that she would want to fool around with and not just mentioning them in passing. Last night she told me about the guy who taught her to give head, how much she used to fool around with him and how much she misses him and wants to get in touch with him again. She also plans to visit another guy she used to fool around with and spend the night at his place (he lives in another city, spending the night seems more practical)
    I know that she has cheated a number of times before with previous boyfriends, 5 by my count.
    Maybe I am totally oblivious to the signs and think that love will prevail, however part of me expects to recieve a call from her late one night where she tells me that she has cheated on me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    157
    whoa, dude. yes, yes she will.

    while i don't think past actions always predict future ones, her unrepentant ideas on sex might indicate an easy willingness to cheat again.

    i think you know it too - look at the evidence you have put in your post - it's like the 12 days of christmas for skank yankers. you're not oblivious, though you may want to be; it's so awesome to be in love.

    you have a couple of options now, i think. if fidelity/long-term commitment is important to you, this may not be the right girl for you. if not, why not have an open relationship? that way, you can date around as well, and you will not be at such a huge power disadvantage.

    don't be a chump, luv. don't listen to me, though, listen to yourself - your own post has your answer.
    Last edited by sleepy; 11-11-04 at 01:46 AM. Reason: sig problems

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    102
    the arrows are leaning toward YES!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Calgary, AB, CA
    Posts
    37
    """she felt that we were getting too close and instead of talking to me about it, went out and started dating or just fooled around with other guys and then told me about it or made sure that I saw it. She now says that she did this to push me away."""

    She is testing. Are you different from the other guys she's known? If she is indeed asking herself this very question, then it is a positive sign. She already suspects that you are special, or she hopes you are. The only way for her to know is the compare with something else. Most likely something she has already tried and knows well. Its like when you're tuning a guitar with a tuning fork...you need to strike the fork a couple times until you get the string's pitch just right.

    """I know that she has had some sort of sexual relationship with nearly all the guys that she has known."""

    Most likely she's getting bored with this by now and looking for something different. Of course, she'll still want to keep the option open...who wouldn't? She doesn't know which she'll like better yet.

    To answer your question, though...yes, she will have sex with other people. Not to be hurtful or because you aren't adequate, however. She'll be watching how you respond. Will you get jealous and possessive? Will you meekly let her get away with it without so much as a whimper?
    My suggestion is to do neither. Stay calm. Stand up for yourself. Communicate your feelings. If this isn't ok with you, say so. Think about why you feel the way you do. Tell her. Then sit back, watch, and listen. You'll know right away if she's simply trying to make you into another of her harem, or if she was right all along and you ARE different and special. (of course, I know you're special already, but she has to decide that for herself. ^_^)

    eeto...usual disclaimers apply. This is my opinion only and formed from my interpretation of your post. 'Love Forum' does not necassarily agree with any statement I have made blah blah blah.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    125
    yah watch out for her. if i were you... just be one of her sex boys and forget about ever gettin into a relationship with her. thats what im sorta doin right now with a girl. try not to get attached to her, even though it may be really hard. if you get attached, youll only get more crushed everytime she talks about other boys. yah my girl does the same things with otehy guys... maybe to get me jealous, or maybe she just likes toyign with guys. w.e. just dotn think much about it. just remember that shes not yours, and the things she is doing you are allowed to do too.

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