Almost 7 months ago to the day, I met this girl who I thought was the epitome of everything I saw as attractive in someone. This was on a camping trip, where we were both up with our families as we are relatively the same age (17). Now, as I stated above, she was literally, from my perspective, amazing. Not just in looks, but similar taste in music, same trains of thought, I dunno... just everything. So, I suppose it may have been natural for me to cry (yep...) on the deserted beach with a stolen beer in my hand for about 3 hours after she left the caravan park before me. I was so foolish when she said goodbye that I replied with a - "Yeah, nice talking to you..." after we'd pretty much talked 7 hours straight the night before and 4 hours straight the day she left. There was this other guy (who wasn't interested in her, he was interested in someone else in the caravan park) with us while we talked, who afterwards said that from what he observed, that she might've liked me. Of course, this was after she had left. As I raked my thoughts of the situations previously passed, I kind of put 2 and 2 together and got 4, and then realised that she may have had some feeling for me. Of course, when she said to me that I had "nice eyes" and a "cute smile" I merely took that as a mild compliment, nothing more, nothing less. Even when she rubbed my leg involuntarily and said something like, "You don't have to many hairs on your legs... hehe," I laughed it off and resumed general conversation.
So... after I got home from this trip, I immediately myspaced her and grabbed her MSN address without hesitation. It was then that night where I found she had a boyfriend (Ah, and might I add that I was under the impression that she lived around 6 hours away, which is quite a distance for a teenager trying to balance a part-time job, schoolwork and other general crap fairly). These two factors kind of destroyed my confidence. I didn't need to talk to her to acquire this information as well, it was all conveniently placed upon her page. About a month passed, and I was constantly thinking about her (which isn't to say I still don't). I wanted to tell her what sort of effect she had upon me, how she changed me, how I felt about her. So, adrenaline pumping, heart racing, mind-****ed, I typed what I felt into a message on MSN, sent it to her, then immediatly almost crapped my pants when I realised the sort of message I had sent her. It wasn't a casual "heyy..." or a vibrant "hi", it was more of a "I don't think you know me, or you've probably forgotten me, but..." and the dramaticism followed. She responded with smiley that resembles an astounded, shellshocked face and asked me who I was. My morale dropped exponentially and I realised that I'd kind of stuffed it. Gone. Screwed up. Once again, I, the estranged social klutz, had klutzed up again. Nothing has happened since then. That was February, this is August. I still think about her, even more so recently now that I think we may have recognised each other at a local concert (Parkway Drive, buy thier stuff) because according to her myspace once again she had moved closer. There was a point in time in the mosh pit where I looked at someone, possibly her, and there was a look in her eyes saying "I've seen him..." and I think I mirrored her look. What in hell do I do? I've tried "playing the field" to no avail, I've tried deleting her hotmail, not myspacing her... She's always in the back of my mind. Please, if someone has taken half as much time reading this as I have spent writing it, words of wisdom would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.