How bad of an idea is this...?

[Indestructible]

Some of you have already heard my story, but to those that haven't, you don't need all the details right now, so let me sum things up... There's this girl that I've liked for a really long time, but we haven't seen each other in years, and for the last year, our only means of communication has been through MySpace. Things seemed to be going fine when we were first writing; she genuinely seemed to enjoy writing with me. I started getting kinda dopey with my messages, and her interest level started dying down. I got gutsy enough to ask her, in a light, casual way, about meeting up some time, and catching up in person. She never wrote me back... It was months before I dared writing her again.

Eventually, I got her writing to me again early this year, and I seemed to be back on track with her, but she started flaking out again. I decided not too long ago to write a big message, in which I acknowledged the feelings I had for her in the past (which she already knew of), touched on the fact that I was curious to see what, if anything, could still be between us, told her I was aware that I'd been kind of a dork online but that that was only because I'm bad at this whole online thing and that it makes things more complicated than they need to be, peppered in some humor to keep the tone good, and basically ended it by asking her about meeting up. So unlike when I asked her about meeting up six months ago, this time was more direct. It's been two weeks since I sent that message, and still no reply from her, however.

I know, that doesn't exactly seem like a good sign, and that I should just shrug this off and move on. But you don't really know how important this is to me, and how hard it is to just let this go. So it got in my head; what if I could turn her lack of response into a playful, flirtatious little game? Yanno, send a message that's something like this: "dodge all ya want, but I'm too persistent to give up that easy. besides, you and I both know I'll probably just wait a few months and ask you again, anyway :p". So how bad of an idea would that be? I don't want to be that clingy creep that's constantly writing her, but this is the only possible way I can think of spinning things with her.

[kate_spencer]

I don't know.. but are you sure she's really into you? Cause to reject or ignore you twice is a sign that she don't want to meet you. It's either she's taken or she's just enjoying your chat, and don't want anything more than that.
But maybe if you continue your little game, maybe you'll be able to get the answer you've been waiting for.

[Indestructible]

Well, I wouldn't say that she's "into me" at this point, but I'd really like her to see me, the real person (as opposed to me, the guy on MySpace), before she makes a concrete decision like that, yanno? I just... I don't know how far I can push before I really cross the line.

[carl1222]

If I were her, your "playful" comment would scare me. It says "I don't care that you aren't interested in meeting me, I'm not giving up! ... you know it and I know it." You are confusing unwanted persistence with confidence and would come across as creepy. Her silence has said "no" twice!

Carl.

[Indestructible]

So is there any way to spin this around, at all? :/

[carl1222]

So is there any way to spin this around, at all? :/

I don't think there is. You can't blast yourself out of the friend zone with a battering ram, and she has given you no encouragement at all to continue trying to pursue her romantically. Remember, her feelings (or lack of feelings) for you are completely independent of your feelings for her.

Put yourself in her position ... suppose there was a girl who was your friend but you had no romantic attraction for her at all. How would you react if she kept pressing to move things forward? It would make you uncomfortable and strain the friendship, right? That's exactly what's happening here.

For your own peace of mind, you have to let it go ... and the friendship as well.

Carl.

[Mish]

"dodge all ya want, but I'm too persistent to give up that easy. besides, you and I both know I'll probably just wait a few months and ask you again, anyway :p".

Sounds like something a serial killer would say to their next victim

[carl1222]

Sounds like something a serial killer would say to their next victim

Hahahahaha

[Indestructible]

:/ It was just an example. Besides, I'm not crazy enough to be a stalker, I just feel bad that things have to end like this... I can't help but wish there was something more I could do. :/

[Mish]

:/ It was just an example. Besides, I'm not crazy enough to be a stalker, I just feel bad that things have to end like this... I can't help but wish there was something more I could do. :/

You CAN

Go out there and find a new girl. There are lots of fish out there and life is too short to be hung up on a woman who's not interested in you.

[The_bobb]

...what if I could turn her lack of response into a playful, flirtatious little game? Yanno, send a message that's something like this: "dodge all ya want, but I'm too persistent to give up that easy. besides, you and I both know I'll probably just wait a few months and ask you again, anyway :p". So how bad of an idea would that be? I don't want to be that clingy creep that's constantly writing her, but this is the only possible way I can think of spinning things with her.

I'm getting a real creepy Stalker vibe from this part of the message. I'd give up man. Give up now before your sitting outside of her window watching her.

This isn't a joke. Those no responses you got? Those were "No"s. It sucks i know, but that's how it is.

Listen to carl and mish.

[Indestructible]

Like I said, I'm not crazy enough to be a stalker. :/ It's just so hard to let this one go, especially with that bit of history when we were kids. It's not so much that I want to "force" myself on her, I just wanted her to get to know the real me, rather than the dope I am in MySpace, before she made such a concrete decision. At the very least, would it be alright if I sent one last message like this: "i'll take that as a definite no. ah well, can't say i wasn't persistent, huh? heh heh. ah well, i can take a hint, i won't bother you anymore. it was nice getting to talk to you again after all these years, though. take care."