Hi there. I'm new to the forum and looking for a few bits of advice. Thanks in advance for reading and any help you can provide, it's hugely appreciated.
I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I'm currently seeing a girl, and by 'seeing' I mean we've been dating for around 6 weeks now, and by 'dating' I mean we go out every so often but most of the time we sit in her house, chilling, watching TV, playing games, chatting, sometimes drinking etc. It's a rather unconventional approach to a relationship, but the reasons why I will now clarify.
She's very uncomfortable with letting herself be vulnerable. She's 20, and between the ages of 11 to 15, she was physically abused and molested several times by different people. Needless to say, she's very careful (especially physically) and doesn't let her guard down, which is why she wishes to take things slowly, and I respect that to the ends of the Earth.
The only problem I'm having is continuing the connection we made to begin with that brought us together. I met her through Facebook, we spoke a lot, met up and things got better from there. I'm happy to wait until she's ready for a relationship, but I'm struggling to remind her why she liked me to begin with.
Her idea of quality time is what I said before - sitting around, relaxing, doing things we both enjoy etc. She loves going out and she loves drinking though, two things I haven't been fond of throughout my teenage-hood (I'm now 22), but I'm coming around to it more as I step further into our stint together.
The crux of the matter is that she loves witty, funny, interesting people with fresh things to say, talk about etc, and this is my problem - I never really have anything to talk about. This could be because we get a lot of our conversation out in texting before meeting or because I always find myself sitting near her trying desperately to think of topics of conversation and failing so badly. So I come across as a mute, and nobody likes an antisocial mute!
We were talking about 'us' the other day via texting, and she scarcely lets her real thoughts be known, as it makes her uncomfortable. During this conversation, though, she told me how she felt, as I needed to know (she's a closed book otherwise, it's hard to progress without knowing how she feels). She told me she likes me, a lot, because I'm interested in going out with 'her', not just for her body, which she's never experienced before.
A previous weekend I went a bit wild with her and her friend at her house, was very sociable, joined in with the conversations more than I do normally and she said she wanted to "jump on me" in love because I was like that. I was everything she wanted on that particular evening and I want to be able to be like that every evening I'm with her, because she admitted she sometimes struggles to connect with me when I'm 'less fun', shall we put it.
So, can anyone give some advice? It's hard for me to come up with fresh ways of being a fun-loving person. I want to be that person and I want to show her who I really am - not this boring slab of meat sat in her armchair. I'm desperate, frankly; she likes me for the things I do for her, the love and care I show, but I don't want her to lose interest in me because I struggle to be 'her type'.
Any help would be nice, thanks for reading.