the "still" depressed girl

[aprelka]

hi again.....
i've been badly hurt of my relationship now,,,(for those who knows the story,,u have clue) ,,i still cant seem to break it off with him coz im still in love with him......

can somebody tell me or give me guidelines on "how to fall out of love."

[Cain]

Only time will make you fall out of love with someone. Honestly though, I don't know why you're in love with him in the first place. He constantly argues with you, cheats on you, and he has gotten physical with you. What more do you need for him to do before you want to break it off? Kill you?

[aprelka]

its this f**king feelings that never get off of me....im beginning to hate myself already because of this......

[aprelka]

im 25 and i had like 4 realtionships already, longest time 2 years shortest like 1 year.but i never had like this and first time also i have bf younger than me....i dont know what happened to me...but im still loving him....and i want to fall out of it ,,,for starters can anyone give me advice?

[Cain]

Like I said, falling out of love just doesn't happen because of something you do. It happens over time. All you can do is go out, meet new people, and have fun. That's what is making this so hard. You probably are doing nothing but work and sit around the house... therefore you have plenty of time to miss him.

[Yacker]

I felt I was really involved and in love with a girl I was seeing but the relationship never really could settle. She just got out of a 9 yr relationship but we were so attracted to each other that we couldn't part. It came down to us having to split because she couldn't be committed and that seemed to be the major thing I was looking for from her. (She kept freaking out about the way I was acting, too caring?) It hurt us both a great deal and I felt so depressed for about a month. I know sitting around didn't help that at all.

She works with me today and I see her occasionally walk around the office about 2x a week. She definitely needs to be on her own to figure out what she wants but in order for me to let go of the entire thing and my love for her I needed to remove her from my thoughts and sight. The only way to do that is to stop contacting altogether. When I was in contact with her even as trying to be friends I kept hanging on and only til I didn't talk to her for about a month I started to move on and with the help of my friends and meeting new people.

I can say today after going through that roller coaster of emotions that I feel the most stable in my life in the last 1.5 years. I spend a lot of time working on myself and yeah it feels good to know I don't need to have my thoughts directed elsewhere because of my love for her. I still think about her everyday (not as much cause she isn't in my life anymore) but the thoughts don't cause me to get depressed or down and emotional like they use to at all. I would say just never contact him again unless you want to be stuck in that cycle forever. You just must tell yourself not to do it and there is something better for you out there once that love for him dissolves. So start practicing on those thoughts that are about you and working on yourself.

[aprelka]

i think we're having too much of that cultural diffrences that's why eerything came up to this,,,...is anybody there a russian so somebody can help me with this?/????????????

[Cain]

i think we're having too much of that cultural diffrences that's why eerything came up to this,,,...is anybody there a russian so somebody can help me with this?/????????????

What does it matter? Are you really this lonely? He hits you. He argues with you all the time. And he cheats on you. Do you want someone to say that it is acceptable to do that in Russian? So what if it is? What if it's culturally acceptable to stab your gf whenever you want. Is that okay with you?

[Yacker]

Yeah definitely I don't think making any cultural understanding is going to help your situation. Simply put this guy does not seem like a good fit for you from what you've said about the relationship. You seem to be in denial and coming up with excuses.