To Call or Not to Call?

[lauren_gal25]

I have a small but frustrating question. A couple months ago I had been hanging out w/a guy for a couple weeks. We met at a club, went home and made out that night, talked/texted a lot and i stayed over at his place a couple times, super making out but not quite sex. We got along well and talked about pretty much anything- were really open and good friends I felt.

He finally brought it up that we weren't compatible, I agreed, and we haven't seen each other since. We've talked every couple weeks, and 4 days ago I called him after it had a been 1 1/2 wks or so, just to say hi. Left a msg and he hasn't called back.

What should I do? The last time we hung up, he said, "Don't be a stranger", which I interpret as, "I want to talk to you often and stay good friends." But I could be wrong? I want him to know I want friendship too, by reciprocating calls and not just having him be the one to call. I don't want to play "dating games", since it's clear we're not pursuing anything romantic anymore. It's 99% likely he got msg, right, in our age of technology?? So should I call again in case he didn't receive, or let it go and risk the chance of him thinking I don't want to keep in touch? What would a guy be thinking in this situation? I hate these things... appreciate any insight.

[Lloyd95]

He finally brought it up that we weren't compatible, I agreed, and we haven't seen each other since.

This should tell you all you need to know; move on. Apparently he did.

[lauren_gal25]

This should tell you all you need to know; move on. Apparently he did.

What about friendship though? Is he that much of an ass that he would just drop even that after implying he wants to keep in touch?

[Tone]

Yeah I agree with what Lloyd said...

The last time we hung up, he said, "Don't be a stranger"

And this means - "we may not be compatible.. but I'll still sleep with you"

[lauren_gal25]

Yeah I agree with what Lloyd said...

And this means - "we may not be compatible.. but I'll still sleep with you"

You think? After we had "the talk", i slept in his bed cause i was a bit drunk and it was 4 am, but no touching or messing around... i don't he desires me anymore and hasn't initiated seeing me again...

[Tone]

That's what it looks like to me, as an outsider looking in.

Sorry darlin. =/

[whaywardj]

Let it go.

[Lloyd95]

No friendship; you've only known each other for a couple months. he probably thought he was going to get some (sex), didn't, and moved on; sorry to say, but men are pigs.

[TAVS]

Get some pride woman

[lauren_gal25]

Don't know why may not have gotten msg... benefit of the doubt I guess. Was so nice last time on phone, think it's weird he didn't call back. Don't want to hook up, he's just a great guy & want friendship. No esteem issues- we gals just like to think we can hv any guy like us, even if we don't want a LT rltnship.

I have other friends but would be sad to cut friendship off w/him. Don't know about the him-just-wanting-sex thing- told him night we met I only do sex w/a BF- will only mess around if no comitmnt. He has several girl friends who are either bi- or have BFs, and seems to be a good friend to both Ms & Fs. He went through a super-sex phase a yr ago, got burned out, and now wants cmtmnt & a wife & not so focused on sex. Never pushed me to have it & was content w/hand jobs, cuddling, etc. (im 24 & he 26 & "hearing his biological clock ticking")

"if a guy finds a woman attractive no friendship"- is this true & if so, why? Cuz he wants to sleep w/her every time he sees her?

[Tone]

He went through a super-sex phase a yr ago, got burned out, and now wants cmtmnt & a wife & not so focused on sex. Never pushed me to have it & was content w/hand jobs, cuddling, etc.

LOL - no wonder he keeps you around.

I hate to sound pessimistic here... but come on now. He says he wants commentment and a wife - but... just not you. You play with his yo-yo and now you're wondering why he keeps you around if he's not interested in having a relationship with you??

Lights on upstairs??

[lauren_gal25]

LOL - no wonder he keeps you around.

I hate to sound pessimistic here... but come on now. He says he wants commentment and a wife - but... just not you. You play with his yo-yo and now you're wondering why he keeps you around if he's not interested in having a relationship with you??

Lights on upstairs??

Yes, but he does not want that anymore. We thought we were right for each other for a while until we realized not, then stopped messing around. He hasn't wanted to see me in a couple months but calls and seems to care about me. I used him physically too for a while- didn't ever want commitment. I'm now messing around with other guys now and then, but I do care about him as a person still. I don't think he's that shallow?

[Rosebud]

Your going by what he has said you have to go by his actions!

[Tone]

Hey what do I know??

Like I said before, I'm on the outside looking in.. that's what it looks like to me.

He could be a genuine guy.. and if you are cool with just being his friend, sure - call.

[lauren_gal25]

Your going by what he has said you have to go by his actions!

ya, so judging by the fact he called me after christmas, called me after NY's, both times to see how my holidays were, what does that mean? i take it to mean he enjoys my friendship and wants to stay in good touch. purely platonic for both of us. am i misinterpreting? what does it mean when a guy in my situation calls you twice in a month and says "don't be a stranger" the 2nd time?