Boyfriend very stressed because of me and not talking to me :(

[Jackiee]

It started yesterday when my mum called him up to tell him that because of him, my grades have dropped. (Well she didn't say it like this, but she implied it and he told me that he feels this way)

I'm in my last year of school ( I'm almost 18 ) and he is 21. I had lunch with him, he sounded very disappointed that even though he had been trying his best to get me to study and not spend all my time with him. This is our only problem, my mum had called him before to have a chat with him about how he's affecting my grades. He said that he's very stressed and the doctor said he has high blood pressure.

I tried talking to him yesterday to make him feel better, but it seemed like he was rushing me home after lunch. He tells me he can't take much more if things go on like this. When I spoke to him on msn yesterday he seemed very solemn and took instead of his usual 1 second about 10 seconds to reply and when we talked on Skype before he went to bed, it was basically 10 minutes of silence then "can I go sleep now".

I feel horrible about this because I know that it's my fault that I made such a nice guy so worried and stressed. We love each other very much and shared many experiences together and it would be so sad if this one aspect is going to ruin our future.

I don't know what to do.. I've considered giving him some space but I know there's no one he can talk to about this. He was on Whatsapp this morning and for the first time ever he does not say good morning; I haven't said anything yet. I believe it's my fault that I let him down and so far my mindset is that I really need to study hard to get back to where I was to solve everything, but that's not easy. We had planned to go to the movies today before he got the call yesterday; I guess that's not happening.. Should I just give him time and wait for him to talk to me?

I'm very distraught and worried about him and our relationship, thanks in advance for advice

[wolfie91]

Give him a little bit of space for now. I would continue to maintain loose contact, so that he can get the reassurance that he needs from you, but you don't want to appear clingy (especially as he is taking on too much responsibility for your situation [grades, etc]). I'm sure that if you act carefully things will work themselves out. If they don't, it will be because of some underlying issue, rather than because of anything you did.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell your mom to stay out of your relationship.

[HeartIsAching]

1. It's not his fault your grades have dropped, it's yours. I'm not blaming you, I'm not getting on your case about your grades, I'm just stating fact.

2. The idea that it IS his fault is a controlling idea, both by your mother and by him. It's your choice whether or not you want to get good grades. Fact.

3. The "silent treatment" is controlling behavior as well.

4. State these things clearly to him, then leave him alone. If he chooses to continue to attempt to control you through silence, he's not worth it anyhow.