Feels like I dont find her attractive anymore :(

[lostguy23]

Hey guys. New here. Just wondering if I could get a bit of advice.

Some things I mention may sound naive or stupid but its not meant to seem like im a jerk.

Been with my girl now for just over a month. She lives 50 miles away. Not far but with work I dont get to see her all the time. Shes 25 and im 23.

We both have lots in common (naturally) and every moment we have together is really enjoyable. We match well in that department.

Now its onto looks. At first I thought she was really attractive. Shes quite a big girl and usually I dont find that sort of girl attractive at all. Now we have become more intimate. I have seen her without makeup and in her natural state I am beginning to believe I dont find her attractive at all. I keep thinking in my head I can find someone better looking.


Some things like this have happened in the past with other x's but after we have ended (because it didnt work out) I have felt gutted.


Dont know what to do about it because if im honest its mostly her weight that now puts me off.

[red_sparrow]

i think that with my BF, too sometimes. and i could definitely find someone amazing looking because i am not bad-looking myself.
ask yourself if this is really a good reason to be upset. just ask yourself. but i know where you're coming from because i've been there myself.

[nims]

The relationship is young, if you are having these feelings so early, best not to string her along. It's not fair to her or yourself.

[Gratedwasabi]

The relationship is young, if you are having these feelings so early, best not to string her along. It's not fair to her or yourself.

Yeah, unfortunately once you reach the "she/he's not really attractive" phase there's no way to get it back. Move on.

[Boisdevie]

Dump her - it's gonna happen so sooner is better than waiting and being unhappy

[devonbrown]

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like it is going to work out. Normally, looks are the initial thing that attracts people and then finding all the other things about them (common interests, etc) just make the person look that much better in your eyes.
If, in your case, the looks are that important, it is best for you to move on.
Good luck.

[sookie6]

yes you should break up now for her sake...it's terribly unfair to pretend you like someone when in fact you don't find them attractive

[eonbar]

yeh, as above.

or get her lardy ass to the gym?

[justcheckin]

if you dont find your partner attractive then you are just buying time until you eventually break up. Attraction is one of the most important factors in a relationship.

Once I started to see my old GF w/out make-up I felt the same way as you did. I eventually broke up with her because although I think she was the nicest person ever (and would not do anything to hurt me) I was not attracted to her any more

[Petit Papillon]

@justcheckin : That's why guys should date girls with minimal/zero make up on. To not be surprised or disappointed after

[RockNRoll]

You know what is the right thing to do. It's great that you have a lot in common, have good time together, etc - that's really important! But if you are not attracted to the girl, I can't see why would you be a couple instead of friends (could be too late now)? You might be even less attracted to her after another month, so just stop it now in a decent manner.

[lostguy23]

Thanks for the replys everyone, sorry im a bit late getting on the pc (damn work)

RNR - Pretty much too late as its been a relationship for a month.

I think maybe I should end it then for the best.

The problem with her weight is that she would never ever go to the gym or anything, she has said a few times she hates her size but everyday she eats fast food or typical junk.

I agree about the point with finding a girl who doesnt wear makeup, dont most of them nowdays though?

gotta try and think of the best way to end it with her because mainly its because iv seen what she truly looks like underneath the makeup and thats put me off. I dont want it to sound like iv had my wicked way with her and now im getting rid (since thats the only time I see her with no makeup on.... when waking up next to her)