Our worlds have been broken..

[Daybreaker]

We've loved each other for a long time.
We still do. Keep those in mind.

I seek help because I'm having tremendous difficulty coping with something. I know at my age, you may think our idea of love is premature.. but I've been in several relationships and I've never felt this way about anyone. I'm 18 years old.

Long story short, my girlfriend's mother had walked in on us in our underwear. It was my girlfriend's advance, and she was assuring me that it was safe. She asked me to trust her. I did.

I was told to leave the house shortly after my girlfriend's last words escaped her mouth..

I'm so sorry..

I was woken up by a call this morning telling me to forever stay away from her.

I'm not a bad person. Her family adored me up to this point.
But I feel like I can't do it. I still love her and many times I've been forced to give up a person on helpless circumstances.

I feel dead. I'm waiting for her to somehow contact me.
What do I do? I'm in love with her and I'd die for her.

[vashti]

If she is telling you to stay away, there is nothing for you to do but stay away.

Just keep in mind that your pain is temporary. Go ahead and cry for a while if you need to, but then stop, keep yourself busy, and you will feel better after a while.

[JarrodHalsey]

All you can do is wait. If the love is as strong as you think it is, she will find a way to contact you.

[Tone]

Ah I remember those days. Of being young and gettin freaky while praying her parents wouldn't open that door.

How old is she?

[Cain]

I would like to know how old she is as well.

Also, how long have you two been together?

[Daybreaker]

If she is telling you to stay away, there is nothing for you to do but stay away.

Just keep in mind that your pain is temporary. Go ahead and cry for a while if you need to, but then stop, keep yourself busy, and you will feel better after a while.

Just for clarity, her mother (and father) are the ones telling me to stay away.

All you can do is wait. If the love is as strong as you think it is, she will find a way to contact you.

She has contacted me very recently and secretly.. and we both promised that we would wait forever for each other, however long it takes.

Time mends, that's all I've learned in life.

Ah I remember those days. Of being young and gettin freaky while praying her parents wouldn't open that door.

How old is she?

She's old enough. 18, several months younger. I'm just at a loss because her father is beginning to hate me, I think.

EDIT:
We've been together for 8 months.
I know it may seem like a baby relationship, but I love her and nothing will stop that.

[Cain]

I won't say anything about your feeling of love. Eight months is better than the one or two month love comments I see a lot of. Don't be surprised, however, if you two end up growing apart. I know that you say you'll wait forever, but will you really wait 10 years if it came down to that? I don't think so... unless you just can't find someone else.

Honestly though, why doesn't she stand up for herself? She's 18. She's legally an adult. My gf's parents wouldn't want us having sex in their house, but she wouldn't let them break us up.

And this should be a lesson to you. In their house, it's their rules. If you two are going to have sex, do it when they aren't home or somewhere else. A dad will find a reason to walk into that room if he knows you two are in there alone.

[Austinn]

yea man and also you gotta consider the reality that her parents leverage over her wont end for a long time to come if she ends up going to college on their tab, which I assume she does intend to do, so the parents likely arent going away any time soon unless she plans to try and go solo or something with you

just another thing to consider for the longterm

[Daybreaker]

I won't say anything about your feeling of love. Eight months is better than the one or two month love comments I see a lot of. Don't be surprised, however, if you two end up growing apart. I know that you say you'll wait forever, but will you really wait 10 years if it came down to that? I don't think so... unless you just can't find someone else.

Honestly though, why doesn't she stand up for herself? She's 18. She's legally an adult. My gf's parents wouldn't want us having sex in their house, but she wouldn't let them break us up.

And this should be a lesson to you. In their house, it's their rules. If you two are going to have sex, do it when they aren't home or somewhere else. A dad will find a reason to walk into that room if he knows you two are in there alone.

I wouldn't be surprised, no.. but I'd like to say I'm rational and I've been put in this situation before.
She is worth the wait for me. I'm not going to give you an amount of time I'd be willing to wait. But I am willing and she is, too. I value that more than anything at this point in time.

She did stand up for herself, and for me, but her parents are the obnoxiously protective type. Ridiculously. They'll find a reason to dislike me. As in, at our 6 month mark, we were seen laying down on a couch together watching a movie, and her dad insisted that it was getting too late. Her curfew is midnight, and it was around 9pm.

I'm not trying to reason out of everything you say as that's quite immature, but I hope I'm shedding the tiniest bit of light on this.

You're absolutely correct about the house thing.
It was irresponsible on my part.
I know trust is a beautiful thing, but I should have used a bit more common sense. I love her and it was endangering her in the first place. If it means anything, our sensual minds were somewhere else. All we cared about was passion and each other.
We got carried away, if you will.

yea man and also you gotta consider the reality that her parents leverage over her wont end for a long time to come if she ends up going to college on their tab, which I assume she does intend to do, so the parents likely arent going away any time soon unless she plans to try and go solo or something with you

I completely understand. At this point, we discussed that when she gets the right to go out with her friends, it could be possible to meet up with her.
Her parents are making her live at home next year, then dorm the following year. I'm willing to wait. I hope time eases this for her parents, even my parents think they're overreacting a little bit. Though I'm still in shit with my folks.

[Cain]

You said she stood up for you... how so? What did she say or do?

[Daybreaker]

You said she stood up for you... how so? What did she say or do?

She begged her parents to realize that she asserted herself and they were all her advances (they weren't, so this made me feel incredibly uneasy). She told them that up until that point, I'd been so careful and responsible in any sensuality. She tried as hard as she could to keep me from seeming like some sort of sex-fiend and she insisted that she's never cared about anyone this way. She also begged that they don't include my parents in this. Her father found out that we had intercourse on certain occasions (I don't know if saying that breaks any rules here), so that's also why this is heated.

I'm the first boyfriend of hers that her parents could actually respect and enjoy the company of, and right now, that's my only hope of this ever turning around.

[Cain]

You're out of luck. While she's depending on her parents to live, she has to follow their rules. Would she be willing to continue seeing you regardless of whether her parents kick her out or tell her not to? Also, understand that if they find out you two are secretly dating, they might do the aforementioned.

[Daybreaker]

You're out of luck. While she's depending on her parents to live, she has to follow their rules. Would she be willing to continue seeing you regardless of whether her parents kick her out or tell her not to? Also, understand that if they find out you two are secretly dating, they might do the aforementioned.

It may come as a surprise to you, but she's careful about her parents policies.

It will take a lot of time for her to even be able to see her own friends.

Even then, I would be cautious about seeing her.
They wouldn't kick her out, they would just end my life somehow.
I know I'm out of luck.

I'm lovestruck, but I am rational, as well.
I just need some positive, pragmatic solutions and possibilities to keep myself from breaking down.

My last relationship ended with me in a 5 month depression that I couldn't see myself out of.

I've demanded that she honestly expresses any doubts, negative emotions, or just feelings she has about this, as I don't want to pursue a dangerous relationship if she lacks the same ideals.

We seem to be on the same page though, her and I.

[Cain]

You're on the same page NOW, but just wait until it's been a year and she's encountering other guys on a daily basis. Guys that can be there for her while you can't since her parents don't like you now.

If your last relationship wasn't anywhere as good as this one and you entered a 5 month depression, you need to work on fixing yourself before getting into one. You're 18, far too young to be getting depressed over relationship breakups. You're at the point in your life where most relationships you get into are going to break up.

As much as you don't want to hear this, it might be best if you move on for now. Not being able to see her is going to break your heart and most likely lead you into another depression.

[Daybreaker]

You're on the same page NOW, but just wait until it's been a year and she's encountering other guys on a daily basis. Guys that can be there for her while you can't since her parents don't like you now.

If your last relationship wasn't anywhere as good as this one and you entered a 5 month depression, you need to work on fixing yourself before getting into one. You're 18, far too young to be getting depressed over relationship breakups. You're at the point in your life where most relationships you get into are going to break up.

As much as you don't want to hear this, it might be best if you move on for now. Not being able to see her is going to break your heart and most likely lead you into another depression.

Thank you very much for your help, Cain.

However I refuse to move on until I know time cannot do anything for us, my parents, or her parents.

She may encounter many other guys on a daily basis, but she may also encounter me on a fairly regular basis.

Like I said, she won't refrain from telling me how she feels.
I know this girl. There are things about her that attract me to her which just aren't normal. She's incredibly blunt with people she doesn't trust and, in a way, she can be picky about her friends. She was always abused in her past relationships, sometimes even physically, and it really pisses me off.

I've done my best for her. I've tried to be the best person she's ever been with and she's expressed to me that she could never let go of someone like me. She claims I'm the rarest type of person she's ever met. I'm a lucky man. Mind you, it's not as if we've ever harbored any negative emotions for each other anyway. We've fought twice, maybe, and they were of trivial matters.

I'm at the point in my relationship-life where I can deal with surprises. Something that truly makes me happy when I'm thinking of someone else and they're thinking of me. That's enough for me. Missing someone is only another way of realizing how much you appreciate and love them.

I've heard all of this before, I appreciate it. I know solace comes with time, distraction, and growth.
But this is far from over. How should I deal with having such limited contact with her?