How many is too many sexual partners?

[ItsShane]

I'm pretty sure guys and girls will have completely different answers, especially based on age. I'll be 26 next month.

I've had sex with 25 girls...that's obviously a pretty big number, but I mean, I have friends who have had sex with over 200 girls, so compared to that, it's really not bad lol.

Anyways, when I'm asked how many I've been with, I'm always truthful, and so far, no girl has ever said "gross, I can't date you for that reason alone"

BUT (here comes hypocricy lol), if a girl told me she had been with 25 guys, I'd definitely be a little turned off..I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility of dating, but if a girl had been with like 50-something guys, I can honestly say I wouldn't date her for the fact that she might come equipped with some STDs, and also the fact that it shows that she gets bored with guys easily.

So how many sexual partners would turn you away from someone?

[girl68]

If I were dating you and you told me that? I wouldn't continue with you. Unless I was already head first and knee deep in feelings but likely my feelings of nastiness would get the one up and I'd ditch ya. You might come too equipped with STD's despite you saying you're clean you're still "dirty" in my eyes and easy.

[ItsShane]

How old are you though? If you're like 17, I understand why you would feel that way...or even if youre near my age(or older), I respect it as well. Cuz at least you're being honest.

I was a musician in a kinda well known band from my area at one point, and when I was younger, I got suckered in to groupies..I was stupid and thought that they actually liked ME, but it was all about "getting with a musician" lol, and thats why my numbers are high. I've grown up a lot since then..mistakes happen.

[smackie9]

Your number, and anyones elses number is no ones god damn business. Numbers do not always reflect the persons loyalty in a relationship. So if you have issues with someones past then you are pretty narrow minded.

[ItsShane]

You're right, in a sense. If I met a girl and fell completely in love with her, only to find out that she had been with 50 guys, it would not change a damn thing.

I guess what I meant was: if a girl just openly told me "I've been with 50 guys...wanna start dating?", I'd be pretty apprehensive.

I never ask people their number, but if I'm asked, I'll tell, because in a relationship, I believe both partners have to the right to know anything that they want, IF asked

[girl68]

How old are you though? If you're like 17, I understand why you would feel that way...or even if youre near my age(or older), I respect it as well. Cuz at least you're being honest.

I'm slightly older than you. If you're grossed out by a slutty chick why can't I be? I'm just not down with hoes. Man or women alike I'm not up for it. I don't really care if you sleep around I just don't want to sleep with someone who has slept around, just like you a hypocrite and can't deal with slutty girls, I can't deal with slutty boys.

[girl68]

I wanted to add I agree high numbers do NOT indicate loyalty. You can be with 100 chicks and never cheated. But numbers *do* tell me something about views on sex. If you have a high number you don't value sex in the same way I do. I do not think my way is better, or more healthy I simply think it should be reserved for those you have feelings for.A few hiccups (as I've had myself as in 1 nighters) happen I just don't want a partner with too many hiccups/ mistakes.

[Awesome-O-5000]

ItsShane.......control yoursef, and get tested....it's free.

[ItsShane]

But numbers *do* tell me something about views on sex. If you have a high number you don't value sex in the same way I do.

i get what you're saying and it makes sense. i do value it though, just more in a hippie "express your inner needs" sense. i definitely would never have sex with a girl JUST cuz i could..95% of the girls ive been with were girls that i had feelings for, but they turned out to not be mutual.

ItsShane.......control yoursef, and get tested....it's free.

been tested. never had anything in my life. i know how to be safe.

this thread isn't supposed to be about me and my sex life. i asked a simple question

[girl68]

i get what you're saying and it makes sense. i do value it though, just more in a hippie "express your inner needs" sense. i definitely would never have sex with a girl JUST cuz i could..95% of the girls ive been with were girls that i had feelings for, but they turned out to not be mutual.

I'm all for sex, I really am. And when I'm not getting any it's hard and that's when I slipped up and just did a random dude. Same true for men I'm sure! But yeah I'm a tad conservative when it comes to sex with multiple people, I realize it nearly always happens is normal and healthy I'd just prefer a man who IS sexual just not sexual with tons and tons of women.

[lostnconfused22]

I dont think the number of people someone has slept with should effect the way you see your partner or effect your relationship. I dont think a number reflects theyre loyalty. Me and my bf dont know each others numbers. I dont think Id want to know either... plus I dont think its all that important. I know a woman in her 30's thats slept with about 400 men. Beat that! lol

[warriormaiden]

Numbers matter to me.
Hate to say it.
But there it is.

I don't want to teach anyone anything, and I don't want to be with a total whore either. Sleeping around like that just tells me they don't have too much respect for themselves. It's like licking the seat of a portapotty. It would just be all kinds of gross for me.

[IndigoGal]

I'm in my early 30s, and I'd have to say if a guy my age was hitting triple digits, it might give me pause. I would certainly ask him to be tested before I slept with him. However, I really don't see an issue with numbers. I'd actually have much more of an issue with a virgin. I don't want to be anyone's first at this age, and I don't want to have to train any guy on the basics. He should know what he's doing.

I also see age and long term relationships as part of the equation. If you're 26, and assuming you lost your virginity at 16, that's really only an average of 2.5 girls a year. I'm sure that's not how it actually went down, but when you think about it that way, it doesn't look as daunting. However if you had two 4 year relationships in there, and were faithful to those women, that means you slept with 23 women in just 2 years. That's a little more adventurous. It wouldn't bother me, but it might bother some. Honestly, I haven't had anyone ask me my number in a long time. I had to sit and think about it for a while when you mentioned it to come up with one. For bisexual people, do you count both genders into one number?

Here's the thing, numbers don't reveal a person's current philosophy. I know people who had a promiscuous youth and then changed their tune later in life. They have high numbers, but now won't even sleep with a new person until several months in, or might even be waiting for marriage. Likewise there are late bloomers, who may have had several back to back long term relationships, where they were faithful, or planned to wait for marriage, and are now sewing some wild oats, they may have a number in the single digits, but that doesn't mean anything about the value they place on sex currently.

[2moraNeverKnows]

gong back to the OP and agreeing with Indogal above, I'd say age and frequency are more important than just a number.

For my part I had what Indogal describes.. 2 long termers (1, 1.5 yrs) but for a time in between those, everything was very casual & the total went up to 23, be it casual relationship / fling/ 1 night-er i.e. not a girlfriend. But like you my number is dwarfed by a few friends, both guys & girls, that I mixed with at the time. Then next proper girlfriend (2yrs) was uncomfortable when I told her.. but she understood when I explained. I guess it all depends on lifestyle & your world view.

If she's in her early/mid 20's I'd say 25 isn't a lot, it wouldn't put me off anyway. Don't worry about it.

[falnangel]

Personally, I wouldn't want to sleep around. I think it's nasty, and not every guy can get with me just for sex. I like to have a connection with someone before anything like that can start. And as you said yourself, a guy who sleeps around could be mistaken for getting bored easily, kinda like sexual ADD- turn off.

That being said, I would want the same in a guy that I'm with. For him to have self respect and not let every girl into his pants, along with having self confidence, I think that's sexy.

So, to answer your question, I'd say no more than 10 girls before I get an ingrown boner.