Did I blow my one chance?

[TheDude]

This past weekend I was at a party and there was a girl there that I know through the guy that owns the house. Lets call her Sarah I don’t know Sarah very well but I have strong attraction to her. I have seen her over there a few times but I only know her as an acquaintance. Well I had been doing a few shots and was feeling pretty good. When I started to feel the alcohol taking affect I went to sit down when I realized Sarah was sitting across from me. Having a boost of confidence from the alcohol I asked her if she would like a massage, since she was complaining about her shoulders earlier in the night.
So I’m giving her a massage and everything going great when I get another boost of confidence and decide to let her know how I feel about her. So I leaned down and whispered in her ear “Hey you know I really dig you right”. That’s not exactly how I wanted to let her know I liked her and the more I think about it the worse it sounds to me. After that I don’t remember anymore of the night next thing I know I’m the floor and the sun is out. I asked a friend about that night and he told me she was a little freaked out by my confession and that I should just give her some time.

To let everyone know it was not my plan to get wasted and make an ass of myself. This was a very harsh lesson in learning my limits. Had I known she was going to be there I’m sure I would have refrained from drinking as much as I did. So does anyone think I still have a chance or did I sabotage myself?

[Ailish]

give it time. Its difficult to say being that you can't remember the rest of the evening.

Have you asked your friends what happened...ya know...generally not just in relation to Sarah?

[Michael6084]

you probably ****ed up, but what you should do is have your eyes open for other potential girls out there. if she needs time to think and whatnot, you should not waste your time waiting about her verdict but instead use that time for girls on the lookout.

next time though, if you're going to hook-up in a romantically sort of way (i assume you just don't only dig her sexually), don't do it at a party. people are there to get ****ed up and have a "great" time. tell someone in a more respectable environment.

[Gigabitch]

Well, hopefully you didn't stick your tongue in her ear and forget about it. I'm wondering what it is you did that freaked her out. If she was willing to submit to a massage from you, it seems like a pretty good sign, so I'm not sure that "giving her time" is the right answer, regardless of what your friend said, unless you did something really obnoxious, like yarking in her purse later that night.

I think you should actually call this girl and apologize for having the poor judgment to tell her you were into her when you were totally plastered. Tell her straight up that you want to take her out and show her you're not usually a drunken asshat.

If you wait too long, she's going to assume you didn't mean any of it, or that you don't remember saying it in the first place.

[Ailish]

Is it possible to apologise for something when you dont' what you did...if anything?

[TheDude]

Well I talked with my friend some more to help me retrace my steps that night. He said she has never been in a longterm relationship and what freaked her out was when I expressed my feelings for her, which is something that could pose a problem. I am told I did puke my guts out but she had already left by that point. So I didn’t do anything too obnoxious around her aside from being a little too honest in the wrong setting. I agree Giga I have her Email so am going to send a sincere apology for the way I acted and hopefully we can go from there.

[DoesntMatter]

Girls are upset (and by that, I maybe mean "freaked out") too easily

[Mathias]

Well I talked with my friend some more to help me retrace my steps that night. He said she has never been in a longterm relationship and what freaked her out was when I expressed my feelings for her, which is something that could pose a problem. I am told I did puke my guts out but she had already left by that point. So I didn’t do anything too obnoxious around her aside from being a little too honest in the wrong setting. I agree Giga I have her Email so am going to send a sincere apology for the way I acted and hopefully we can go from there.

Oh, man, please don't do this.

Just back off a little. Apologizing and making a big deal out of it just refreshes it in her mind.

[Ailish]

Oh, man, please don't do this.

Just back off a little. Apologizing and making a big deal out of it just refreshes it in her mind.

agreed, give her time.

There seems to be a bit of naivety here. The thought you may like her will probably not have crossed her mind, so she may have seen the massage gesture as a simple one. Telling her your feelings during that changes the situation, as has been said, giving someone a massage is quite a sensuous thing to do. She could well be freaked at the situation and how she put herself there, rather than anything in particular you did.

[Gigabitch]

I stand by what I've said: You let it go for too much longer and you'll risk looking like a disinterested party.

Maybe she's the kind of girl who only has one guy interested in her, and you can safely just sit on it for weeks, waiting for her to forget the whole thing, but I doubt it. What do you think, Dude?

[TheDude]

Thank you Giga, and yes I think she deserves an apology from me for the way I acted. I sent her an email last night and I got response this morning. I found out she wasn’t as “freaked out” as I thought. My friend was the one who used those words. She said it was more of a surprise then anything. I asked her in the email if it was going to be awkward for us to be in the same room together she said that we are fine.

[Gigabitch]

I asked her in the email if it was going to be awkward for us to be in the same room together she said that we are fine.

Good, then get on it. Arrange to be in the same room with her pretty soon, and make sure you're extra spiffy for the occasion.

[TheDude]

Thought I would give an update. I talked to her yesterday and I made plans to meet up with her on Saturday night. I was thinking about taking her to see a movie but that seemed a little too cliche so I decided on taking her to the book store (found out she loves to read as do I) and a local coffee shop afterward.

Would any of the ladies here consider this a date, or just a night out with a friend?

[DarkDwarf]

Oh, man, please don't do this.

Just back off a little. Apologizing and making a big deal out of it just refreshes it in her mind.

Bingo! Exactly...